Bird's Eye View with Griffin

A Guide to Clubbing for Geeks (I think)...

2011-05-06T14:25:00.000-07:00

Define Geek? The Answer.com definition of the word is;

A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.

These are undoubtedly our heroes. The men who discard social gatherings and common forms of indulgence to churn out new inventions and innovations that makes your social lives even much better. Picture Mark Zuckerberg in Harvard, he never got into any of the clubs or Frat houses. Now his invention helps the guys in these clubs/Fraternities enhance their range of social acceptance.

Anyone who's an ardent watcher of 'The Big Bang Theory' should try and picture those guys in a club scene. They'd be totally helpless, out of sync and rhythm with the crowd and music. You'd be bumping to the BEP's 'boom boom boom' in a very cool way but their poor brain/body coordination would probably make them move twice as fast.

It would look almost helpless but i think i figured something out that could help them a bit. I don't intend to give them a fraction of a typical social life, this piece more appropriately is directed at you, if one unfortunate day you end up hanging out with your geeky cousin or brother and have no idea how to introduce them to the club scene, you can pull this up and read through, hopefully it'll work.

Step 1: the gate: If you're a regular at a particular club then you'll know what the dress code is like. So its best you help him pick out his outfit. This shouldn't be a hard thing to do since most of the fashion world has hijacked the 'geek look'. He'll probably have a pair of glasses and suspenders which could be incorporated into any outfit he plans to don.

Step2: drinks: Make sure you ask him about his drinking habits, if he's not into drinking, you better not give him any, but if he does, make sure he's well within his limits through out the whole night. then keep him hydrated which ever way.

Step3: The girls: (hopefully he's straight): I suggest you ask him to be honest with you if he's ever made any contact with the opposite sex. This is likely the most important part. If his only form of interaction with Women has been through strictly playing GOD OF WAR and regular doses of PLAYBOY then its best you advise him to stick by one rule; 'Shut it' otherwise, if he's in any way good looking then his vocabulary for the night should not exceed words such as make-up and underwear.

Step4: accessories: make sure his accessories do not include a laptop/ipad, soldering machine, frequency jammers & computer printouts he intends to study.

Step5: conduct: He should be reminded that he's not allowed to conduct surveys, opinion polls and that the people around him in the club are not guinea pigs or human testing subjects.

Step6: Dancing: The surest thing to do in the likelihood he wants to 'shake a tail feather'is to make sure he restricts himself to the 1-2 step, no harlem shakes, no dougie, no jerking..nothing.

If you can abide by these 6 simple steps through the night. Things might not turn out so bad after all.

Deuces.

ONE NIGHT CHAPTER 2 part 2*****

2011-04-20T04:11:00.000-07:00

****ONE NIGHT***
CHAPTER TWO

In her mind she was unseen by the entire world around her, this side of her was rarely seen except by her family who she had grown distant from. She sat on the single hotel room seat alone in the room. The lights were switched off and it was eerily silent and cold all around. The floor maid who had brought up the extra bed sheets a few minutes ago was still in the maid's common room telling her co- workers about the woman in room 403.

In her words she was probably a spirit cause she couldn't under stand why someone would want so much extra bed sheets. If the room was too cold which she observed really was, why didn't she regulate the temperature to her liking.

The Strange woman had an idea the maid found everything all too creepy, but she didn't care, all her life she was used to getting those odd stares and receiving the odd compliment. She always wanted something more out of the way from her parents at an early age, but the end results would always reveal a most long thought of idea, sometimes dark one. This made her parents eager and wary at the same time whenever she asked for something. The results not at all times mischievous but most times self serving left them speechless.

There was the time she asked them for a flute. Both parents never knew she had any interests in music or had taken a keen interest in music classes at school. But hoping it was a heart felt interest that made this request so heart warming, they obliged.
The first few days of her receiving the instruments didn't reveal much. She clutched the flute all weekend as she got it on a Friday when her Dad came back from one of his usual out of town trips. But by the end of Monday the flute was gone.
A couple of days later She came home with a nice hair clip finely placed on her hair, this was followed by a bracelet and subsequently other fancy possessions that she claimed a nice teacher in school bought for her. At the end of the second week a nosy neighbor paid the family a visit and went on to causally state that the neighborhood blind man was making quite a fee for playing his flute at his usual spot. Apparently she had seen the little girl stop by the place more than usual.

That venture was immediately ended but she never gave up. From one scheme to another she worked on perfecting her ultimate plan.

Now here she was, sitting in her own sanctuary, thinking about the next move, Justice had obviously ruined things, but what ever was in that suitcase, it had to be most valuable, if not why would she have heard his father screaming at the top of his voice in a most unusual manner. Justices' father was known to be a most calculative man. Possessing a cold exterior that was only exceeded by his precise brain. Something that was responsible for making him the head of the Nigerian Intelligence apparatus for the past 15 years.

Just an hour after she confirmed Justice had left the house with the supposed case she heard him as she wandered down the corridor pretending to head to the kitchen to go fetch some coffee. His voice was almost unrecognizable as he screamed into the phone receiver, most likely at his trusted assistant; "its gone, the brief case is gone!!! what am I going to tell them??? they'll be here tonight God damn it!"

Justice had ruined things obviously, but instead of panic, her entire body was consumed with curiosity and thoughts of larger rewards.
Justice might finally be useful to her after all. There was just the slight problem of 'Who' the suitcase was with now.

She had not factored this into her plan at all. It was going to be pretty hard convincing Dubem to hand over the suitcase since to the best of the knowledge she knew nothing about it. Her plan wasn't full proof no doubt. It was going to be one that would sacrifice another plan she had been executing for over a year now, but no matter how ambiguous the story behind this suitcase seemed, the rewards seemed far greater than making Dubem realize there was more to his girl friend than he knew.

She would have to act fast.....

Why "ONE NIGHT" stopped..

2011-04-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

There are times when doubting myself really seems like my comfort zone. Days when the urge to do something is subdued by the creeping and then over whelming feeling of self doubt..."can i really do this?"

"Dubem still has
a story to tell"

I started a story over a month ago, interesting and filled with suspense. In rapid succession i had churned out about two parts of what was supposed to be a 8 part series. The feed back was positive and interesting. Then like i mentioned earlier, without no criticism or negative feed back i began to doubt this endeavor. I told myself i couldn't finish the story or make it as interesting as the first to parts i had put out.

This has always been a stumbling block for me; Myself. The constant compulsion to hold back when i know i can give more. It is something i am aware of but have never talked openly about, with family and friends.

Like i gladly embrace the mediocrity that comes with the desire not to push myself. The sad thing being that i have seen a glimpse of what my potentials can do, but also i have seen the things that my potentials can undo.

Confession is; i lose myself. I become someone i do not like and can never tolerate. The cockiness in me becomes dominant. Everything around me becomes beneath me. Yes, it happens to every one but I'd hate to see it become who i am.

Some might say it is human, some might say I'm just throwing up excuses because I'm avoiding taking that big step or embracing responsibility.

All i know is, I'm working my way through this.

Out of no where, a certain hunger has been gradually growing, a sort of hunger that i have tried to feed with my embraced mediocrity. The hunger still persists. Now i must choose to either starve it to death or feed it what it longs for, what i long for.

We want one and the same thing..

Taking the past couple of weeks to reflect and refocus has been rewarding is only understating the fact.

The story must be finished. I will complete even it even if the only reward i will get is pure satisfaction and a quenched immediate desire.

"One Night" will be completed i assure you.

Now I'm off to bed to imagine the whole story and its destined direction.

#Inothernews I'm done apologizing to this blog. Its mine damn it! I'll do with it as i please.

Writing a letter.......

2011-03-07T14:23:00.000-08:00

This is going out to someone i really care about... someone who's come to mean so much to me after almost 5 years of knowing each other.

Dearly Beloved friend,

A while ago you asked me to write you a letter, old fashioned style, even throw in a dash of my very own cologne so that you'd have an idea of my scent by the time you got the letter.

When you first asked me to do it i felt it was way too corny, i even asked why I couldn't just put it up on my blog right here but you insisted it be a letter hand written by me and mailed through the post office and not DHL/UPS/FEDEX.
I initially couldn't understand why. It really seemed corny i have to say again and i felt the early signs of reluctance creep in.

The thought of doing it rolled around in my head for days and i kept on going through the whole process this letter would take before getting to you.

I though about the kind of paper i would have to use..how my hand writing would look like (my hand writing's like chicken foot marks), the kind of envelope i would have to purchase, the words and thoughts i would have to put down, what things i would describe, the things on my mind i would want to share with you.
I thought about the cologne you wanted me to add. The possibility that the scent would be gone by the time it had gone by air and road before reaching you without even a trace that it was even added.

I was worried i might disappoint you, that after every thing, you would find the letter all too bland and underwhelming.

But something kept on telling me to write this letter cause there really was something to say. In fact a lot to say to that effect.

I suspect something isn't just right with you, and I'm not sure if a letter would take it all away. Or maybe it will.

I honestly want to write you the letter dear, its not too much to ask if i think about it.
I know you're going through a lot, its too obvious when i hear your voice on the phone. The need to feel closer to home, i suspect is engulfing you or maybe I'm just wrong about this.

As you await my letter, i just want you to do me a few favors i hope might help;

Go out and see a movie.

Watch the music channel more often.

Talk to your family and friends about the good things in life

take yourself less seriously

Go out shopping for a new pair of shoes just cause you feel like it and meet a new friend

And most of all, see yourself for who you truly are and not who others think you are.

I know it feels lonely out there, but getting through this will only make you stronger.

I'll mail that letter no matter what and i promise it'll be one of the best things you've ever read.

Take care my dear friend,

Thanks for being who you are to me.

Yours sincerely

Griffin.

Thursday Night Lights???

2011-03-04T10:33:00.000-08:00

OK! I'm in in the club (not like 50 though) and right in front of me on the floor are about 14 chicks, all sexy and fine. There's barely a guy in their midst.
Well you might ask; 'what's wrong with this scene?' to me there isn't nothing wrong with staring at 14 chicks just bumping their waists to D'prince's 'Give it to me'. but on a Thursday night?! something definitely was off. Then it hit me! Youth Corpers are passing out!
But the scene was eye catching. i found myself always trying to play it out over and over again; all of them looking all tall, with long flowing hair, body hugging dresses, hem lines that could make you imagine yet not see any thing at all, some backless some strapless, plunging neck lines.. it was a kaleidoscopic variety. I didn't even want to jump in for fear of ruining this sight.

Going out on Thursday night has become almost a routine, but unlike previously when Friday would be almost a repetition, save for the likelihood of a change of scenery and ambiance, this time, i find myself settling for only Thursday night.

I seem to have gotten old. Finally accepting rest as a precautionary friend. I always say I'll party till I'm bent. Well, while not fully straight and I'm already giving that statement a second thought. *smh*

Or maybe its just a phase I'm going through. Some of you might end up tapping me on the shoulder from behind only for me to turn around and give nothing but an embarrassed smile in return as an explanation as to why I'm out next week Thursday, you'll never know.

All i know is, I've given my body a little breather over the past couple of weeks.

But on this very night I'm talking about, it seemed choreographed. They all seemed to be bumping their waists at the same time (maybe it was the alcohol)... the short ones at the outer edges of the crowd and the tall ones in the middle. Lady Gaga would have been proud of this sight.

For a while, all i did was watch. I looked to my companions * the usual suspects* : SBB, Phoenix & Mystery. To different degrees of slight perversion we all had the same thoughts. I took me another 12 mins to get one of the girls to dance with me. With her leopard print dress hugging her slight frame, she twisted and bumped, then pinged on her Blackberry a bit. Don't get me wrong, i always find this habit irritating and i immediately focused on another query of interest to me... with boobs firmly packed and thrust upwards with no blackberry in sight i found a rhythmic welcome; she seemed more focused on our synchronized movement.

You should know by now that i love this scene..yet i plan to abandon it, soon enough i hope, before it swallows me.

NB.. i'm still suffering from a few symptom of writers block.

ONE NIGHT

2011-02-11T01:48:00.000-08:00

...............*ONE NIGHT*.............................

.........CHAPTER 2...........................

Justice couldn't understand what was going on, he had taken the case from the man's study as instructed and had given it the the young stranger in the restaurant who's name was Dubem. He couldn't understand any of it. She simply told him all he had to do was follow her instructions. Now here he was, totally clueless and regretful. He had several ungentlemanly words to throw at her the next time they would meet.

That wouldn't have to take so long since 9:00PM was fast approaching, the difficult part was getting into the room without being apprehended by his Father's many security details hanging around the hotel premises.

Justice had many reasons to regret following her instructions but she had come to him with a valid argument; they had a common enemy and he had to be dealt with.
She was his father's mistress and he somewhat loathed what she was but the chance to exact revenge on every single pain the man had caused him was too enticing to ignore.
In his books, forgiveness was not an option for his Father.

Apparently she had become a slave to the man she had initially thought would take care of all her needs. she had calculated wrongly, her naivety now apparent. Those days she had no job and had concluded tossing her moral obligations out the window of reason. That was when she met his father.

Justice couldn't still see any clear excuse despite everything she put up as her reason for becoming his father's mistress; was it the sick mother in Lagos or the need to keep up a lifestyle she had grown accustomed to while being a marketer for a top bank that had recently cut down its staff strength?

All Justice could see was a woman who was an opportunist and an increasingly useful one at that.

Now she either didn't think things through or he had agreed to go into this plan with out coming up with an exit strategy.

The ring of his phone jolted him out of his deep thoughts. It was her, and she didn't seem to be doing better than he was. Her voice was laced with tension; "you fool! you took the wrong suitcase!!!"

ONE NIGHT

2011-01-25T00:33:00.001-08:00

..................* Continuation of Chapter 1*............

Dubem couldn't understand what exactly was going on. A minute ago, he was just finishing lunch with his girlfriend, now here he was, in the midst of kidnappers.
What kind of ridiculous amount were they going to charge his salary earning parents? Then again, he wasn't sure he was being kidnapped because of his potential ransom fee.
This mysterious brief case had everything to do with it, yet they didn't bother to take it out of his hands. He was being allowed to hold onto it.

The Lady in the purple blouse made a call as soon as they were beyond the city limits; "...we're almost there sir, we have the case but Justice got away.." she paused for a few seconds, listening to whoever was on the other end of the line; "..okay sir.. see you there".

She turned to the driver and simply mentioned ' Gima Quarry'. He immediately picked up the speed and they were at their destination in less that 15 mins.

All Dubem could see was an abandoned Query site. There were only two things in plain sight; An abandoned six wheeler truck parked in a corner of the yard and a Black Range Rover Sport edition. The plate numbers were concealed behind black fitted covers specifically made for the plates.

The driver stopped the Camry in front of the Range Rover but no one got out of either car. Dubem could sense a bit of Tension in the air and the awkward silence between all the passengers made it worse. Dubem couldn't tell if there was anyone in the Range but he suspected there was, yet he could hear the silent hum of the SUV.

Eventually the Lady in the purple blouse got out of the Camry and walked over to the Range, as she place her hand on the passenger seat door handle she froze, her attention was drawn to another direction and everyone in the Camry including Dubem looked in the same direction.

A man in white Flowing Bouba came from behind the abandoned truck holding his trousers tightly round his waist and started walking towards the cars.

The Lady simply let go of the door and stood at attention, her face flushed with embarrassment.

The man in the bouba seemed to be giving the lady a tongue lashing as each sentence seemed to bring her face lower into her chest. Meanwhile all the men in the car gave out various degrees of chuckles. The man to Dubem's left finally spoke;

"shebi i told Mercy not to form too much James Bond with the whole disguise thing..now see wetin oga go do am, God don catch am.."

Dubem didn't know what came over him when he muttered; "abeg, who be that man?"

The men on both sides looked at him but said nothing. It was the driver who sat in front that gave the answer; "That's Justice's Father."

....... * To be Continued* ......

Introduction to ONE NIGHT

2011-01-22T15:06:00.000-08:00

i was sitting at my desk trying to figure out what to write last night for more than 4 hours, by the time i was shutting down and on my way to bed, nothing was posted. I confess no one will ever see what came about my attempts to write up a new post from last night. Yes, it will be forever banished to the kingdoms of 'the never posted blog-posts & crap'.

I went to bed feeling disappointed, having been unable to arrange my thoughts and quell the usual chaos it normally is in.

By this morning, despite the fact i had retired to bed in the wee hours of the morning, i still managed to discover a renewed determination burning within me.. If any one had taken a closer look at me, my eyes would have given away the whole plot.. it was that obvious...

Now here's the idea....
over the coming weeks, I'm going to come up with some characters, unique in their own ways and never perfect.. it'll be hard to believe but they'll all have one thing in common at the end of the series... I'm calling it the *THE ONE NIGHT SERIES*...
In my mind i hope i can fit them all into 12 posts and ensure that each one is as in-depth and gripping as i intend it to be...

at some point in time i might degrees and put up something entirely different but please bear with me, its all for the sake of the story..

And now i Present to you *ONE NIGHT SERIES Chapter1*......

....... Abuja, Nigeria... November 19 8:24PM......

Dubem pulled back the shower curtains and reached for the towel, it had been a long day. His mind kept going to the brief case in the wardrobe of the hotel room he currently was in. It sure was going to be a long night and he was running late.
His life had been quite uneventful up until earlier in the day when he met Justice the stranger who had handed him the brief case at the Lunch date he was about rounding up with Feyi his girlfriend.

All the training he had received as a Banker did not prepare him for the events that had transpired after that brief case had gotten into his hands. It seemed like he was in a movie, an action one at that, with all the funny looking men in suits and cab hopping.

It still felt surreal, he recalled the last thing Justice had said to him; "go to New Chelsea hotel, I'll meet you there at 9:00PM. The receptionist already knows you're coming.." and those were his last words before he ran out of the restaurant.

How did Justice know his name?

How did he know he was in that restaurant at that particular hour?

Why did he hand him the brief case?

Dubem was perplexed to say the least. What was he getting himself into by actually showing up at New Chelsea Hotel with the brief case in tow?
What if it was a trap set by some would be ritualists or Kidnappers who wanted to get something he didn't have.

His parents were definitely not going to be happy. He thought back to the phone conversation he had with his Dad an hour ago, it had not gone well as usual and it also seemed strange for his Dad to have called him on this day of all days.

His Father sounded angry but not particularly at him and he recalled he hadn't done anything wrong recently. The man had simply gone on about his continued refusal to bring home his girlfriend who he claimed was going to be his future wife. He wondered if it wasn't his mother who was supposed to be doing the nagging. So far she merely mentioned the issue in passing.

He had intended to get back to work and clear the remaining paper work on his desk and close for the week early so he could meet up with Feyi and her friends for a movie at Silverbird that evening but the brief case weighed on his mind because he still held on to it.

Feyi had already left when his encounter with Justice happened because she was already running late for her next appointment with a potential client who she swore was going to love the house she had to show him.

He wished she had been there to witness the whole thing, that way the burden would not have entirely been his alone.

As he walked out of the restaurant he noticed a Navy Blue 99 Toyota Camry pull up at the other side of the road as he was about to hail a cab. Two men in black suits sat in front while a lady in a purple blouse and jeans stepped out of the car from behind the driver seat. Dubem's untrained senses heightened despite the lack of any foreseeable danger. The lady walked up to him casually, she had a lollipop in her mouth and an inviting smile.

For a split second he could have sworn he recognized her from somewhere but the fact that she was now standing right in front of him relegated the attempt at recollection to the back of his mind. she was about 5'9, just about his height with light skin and wore her natural hair with no make up. She was clearly beautiful with a lack of effort and he was forced to take notice despite the awkward situation. His eyes went back to the two men in the blue camry and they were clearly watching his every move.

The lady in the purple blouse started talking to him; "this might seem out of place but would you mind if you came with me and my friends? we just want to have a chat with you. I know this is wrong but i just need you to trust me, we're not in any way dangerous.."

Dubem was obviously taken aback but tried to maintain a calm demeanor. The first words that came out of his mouth exposed the level of discomfort he felt; "what kind of kidnapping strategy is this? or do I look like I'm half retarded or something???" His abrupt hostility was almost a reflex action, but he couldn't take the words back as fast as they flew out of his mouth.

"..please don't take it the wrong way Dubem, we simply want to have a chat with you.."

The fact that this perfect stranger knew his name told him all he needed to know; he wasn't safe standing in the open and the sooner he got out of there the better.

As he attempted to walk away from the lady in the purple blouse she grabbed the brief case he was holding and the two guys who had been watching them in the Blue camry came out of the car at the same time and started walking towards him.

The lady continued pleading while still maintaining a firm grip on the brief case; "please we won't take too much of you time i promise.." No matter how inviting her voice and smile were, the fact that the two guys in suits were fast approaching gave him the assurance that the so called short talk wasn't going to be short at all.

In one single move, he yanked the brief case from the lady's grip and made a run for it. He had barely taken 4 long strides before he ran into someone. He was about to murmur a quick apology but he was apparently in for another surprise. The person he ran into had held him with one arm and was already holding onto the briefcase he was carrying. He wore a suit like the two guys now directly behind him trailing the lady in the purple blouse and he definitely didn't look friendly.

With two hands firmly gripping him on both sides he was led to the camry and nestled in between two men wearing suits and sun glasses. The lady in the blouse got into the passenger seat in front. They had allowed him hold onto the brief case....

.......................*to be continued*..............................

The truth will not be blogged today

2011-01-14T11:57:00.000-08:00

Any time i set about filling this blank space with words, believe it or not I'm to a large extent filled with trepidation as to what would be the outcome...or is that it?

I always want to put up something new and fresh which is why i refuse to post anything if i still don't feel inspired. Truth is over the past couple of weeks my life has been dour..some sort of a bore really if you look at it critically and i refuse to share with you those thoughts of mine i have when I'm in deep deliberation by myself (well until they're well formed with conviction that is).

Truth is, all that has happened to me over the past few weeks are my business actually, and they'll stay that way.

......i could have sworn i had something to write here........

I'm probably not in the right frame of mind to write anything now, I'm tired, had a long ass day, was stuck in traffic & i saw her....

Seeing her today was... *again I'm not supposed to talk about that*....

Guys, I'm sure some of you are in love or aspire to be in love, some of you are probably married, with kids. On the other hand, some of you probably have had your own fair share of heart breaks and betrayals, lost a life partner or a mate.

But one thing makes it all the same, 'LOVE'. In a short period of time, i have loved and i have lost, i have walked away from one of the most important & wonderful things to ever happen to me in all my years of existence and its taking me a while to get over this. A lot of you are probably trying to figure who or what I'm going on about, rather than do that, just read my words cause they'll never come truer than this;Letting go is so freaking hard.

....that will be all for now.....

I'm probably not making sense cause i don't want to, its my blog so i can do whatever i want with it.

I'll end this with; Find love, be happy, get heart broken and never give up on love....

Deuces.

NB: This isn't about Smiley.

insert name

2010-12-18T11:30:00.000-08:00

Let's get much more fictional here, from what i've gathered some of you guys who read my previous post either don't take me seriously or have a serious problem with English interpretation. Why would you read the entire body of a post and ignore both the beginning and the end of the same post. ahn! ahn!

I said the post was pure fiction and some of you come up to me and still go..: "what you said is true.." i still haven't gotten around to owning a firearm yet. Anofia!

Now onto more fictional matters....
I'm sure some of you had house helps when we were young. Most of the time, pretty young girls who seemed busy almost all the time but would still find time to have a go at the gate-man or driver or you yourself. Yes i said it, you.. you looking at this page.
Guys! tell me some of you didn't lose your virginity to Peace or Ekaette???
Me i lost my own to Ife sha... and no she was not a house help *side eye* ...

I'm stressing it now, this is pure fiction so if you want to tell your brain that what you're reading is real then i pity the thoughts you'll have of writers like John Grisham and Sir Jeffrey Archer... imbecile like you.

For those of you who did lose your innocence to the female help, imagine running into her about 15 years after that confusing moment of yours (yes it was confusing back then cause a lot of you thought ejaculation was a near death experience and had to watch your first porn to know or realize its something closer to the first bite of a chocolate spread sandwich minus the facial contortion), let's say you're in a mall or a public place with your friends looking around at both displayed wares; those behind display glasses and the feminine ones walking by you. Then you notice a lady near by. she's unaccompanied,in fact she's the most appealing eye candy you've indulged in all day so you decide to try your luck on just this single one.
You muster all the courage Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx have impacted on you from watching their not so popular movies and walk over to where she's standing. As she turns around after noticing you approaching she gives you a confused look and for a split second you can almost swear you've seen her before, meanwhile she's looking at you while a mischievous smile slowly spreads across her face. Before you can mutter those words that could have most likely gotten you a talking down and a mean side eye, she calls you by that name no one outside your immediate family has ever heard (you made sure of that by strategically blackmailing them all). You're definitely caught off guard, you take a closer look but you still can put 2 & 2 together, how does this chick know one of the most guarded secrets in the developing world....

The first thing you think of is how you're so going to get back at your sister for giving out state secrets. but then again, you take a closer look at this stranger, she's the typical mall chic; Brazilian hair and things, light skinned with her 'bankers' salary' priced bag. She's looking at you mischievously and laughing hard.
Like that's not bad enough she calls you by your full name and asks about you entire family, if you weren't taking the entire thing seriously you definitely would right now, the other alternative would be to vamoose.

Second look brings a whiff of recognition, as you're taken back in time to your then assumed near death experience. How she tricked you with a bottle of malt and a promise that she'd let you have an extra piece of meat for dinner that night.

Your spectrum of reaction starts at surprise through to flushed embarrassment and finally ends at curiosity. how on earth did *insert name* get this hot???

You ask only one question; "where have you been all these years?"
She tells you a Zeb Ejiro like story that's supposed to touch your heart.
Then she says the words that you've been hoping to hear; "we should hook up on Friday". You exchange BB PINs and horny glances...
You give her a honest and delightful hug which for you means; Thank you for making my work easy.
Your friends can't wait to hear the story, you can't wait till Friday.

So guys, its pure fiction, marinate on that...

Deuces!

Random... sue me!

2010-12-14T00:01:00.000-08:00

What ever i write here is purely Fiction and i stress the need not to take any of it seriously.
"I STRESS" hm mm... OK oh...
Cause if any one walks up to me and says; "hi, i read your blog and do you mean to tell me that blah blah blah is true?" i swear I'll make holes on you the average human being doesn't posses.
OK! i wouldn't but i swear all what I'm about to write is fiction.... and random, meaning it might not follow a particular order.

Abuja's peculiarity has gotten me fed up,and I'm considering relocating to Benin or some where more appealing... every social gathering is enveloped in accents so hard to distinguish you wonder if White men are the ones who really invented Phonetics.

The Ladies are the biggest culprits, putting up airs that could match Queen Elizabeth in the presence of the Di La lama.

Oh Brazil and India... what have thou created? The millions of women who deem it fit to grow, cut and send their hair down to a populous black nation have created a festering monster.
Creating a business for the sellers of the expensive commodity and expanding the business for lenders and Shylocks.
I won't be surprised to encounter a new Bank Product aptly named: 'WEAVESAVE'.
*sigh*

It is these growers and sellers of human hair that are the real mammy waters, growing hairs longer than cloth lines.
Then you force men like me to handle his lover's hair like a czar's Fabregae Egg.
I confess actually helping one lady put up her rollers for the night. Do you know what that marked for me? I wasn't getting none that night.
Trust i slept on my side, grumbling and cursing myself for being able to apply the rollers so well.
The blue balls and ensuing discomfort kept me company all night while 'madam' slept like Pharaoh's bride; untouched and smiling.

I have always expressed my ineptitude in maneuvering the complex waters of the male/ female relationship topic and I'm sure i swore off talking about the topic several times but alas i cannot avoid it.
Why can't it be like it used to?
Boy meets girl, girls meets boy,
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy but plays hard to get,
boy expresses his feelings via letter and flowers or an inexpensive present,
girl finds overtures corny but cute,
girl agrees to go out on a couple of dates,
boy breaks piggy bank to pay for dinner,
girl stops playing hard to get and starts to call boy baby,
boy and girl become a couple.

but that isn't the case in this parts any more, instead it has now become;

boy meets girl wearing Brazilian hair with gucci bag,
boy dodges cause he's wearing pam slippers and plain white T-shirt,
but boy likes girl,
boy decides to go hang out at the usual spot girl normally hangs out,
boy makes sure he has broken piggy bank and borrowed more than half his salary,

NB. boy has not yet met girl and girl does not know boy exists,

boy show's up in his best outfit for the occasion and 'mistakenly bumps into girl'(sometimes via twitter),
girl barely notices boy but can see boy's Blackberry Torch,
boy introduces self and starts small talk that mainly involves houses, cars and designer clothing,
boy asks girl out on a date and they exchange BB pins,
girl agrees and runs off to meet up with her maga for the day,

NB. see how long this actual process is?!

boy and girl start exchanging messages and even the phonetics can't be avoided in text format (serizly),
boy and girl agree to meet up for lunch/ dinner then after drinks at a 'classy' bar,
boy takes girl to the place his father can't afford and buys drinks that cost what he and his guys would spend for a 2 day weekend,
then girl starts to like boys wallet,
boy doesn't know its only when he wants to pay the bills that girl actually smiles,
......
people at this point i haf tire...

you all know where this story will lead to now; al a: boy broke, girl bails.

Wonder how our children will see things in their own time.

And i'd like to clarify, is pink a feminine color? Cause these days it seems guys are color jacking so bad its like gender discrimination.
I'll not go too deep into that though, so as not to polarize things further than they already are.

What with all the weddings these days? or is there a bonanza going on about 2010 that i missed? 'Get married in 2010 and stand the chance to get twins or something' *shrug*

Like i said, don't take any thing i said here in the real context oh.... if you walk up to me and ask me about this... hmmm...
Just Read the damn thing and forget me.

Deuces!

A series of Unfortunate/ Fortunate events... you tell me...

2010-12-12T13:33:00.000-08:00

Its totally explainable that I'm updating my blog after a long break, but trust me, if I'm given enough time to squeeze my brain of all the juice its soaked from the past couple of weeks, you'll have a great story to go home with.

I really am trying really hard to come up with how it all happened so fast.. cause I'm still yet to figure things out my self till now.

The previous week i was flying high, on top of everything, making deadlines and all, then all of a sudden I'd become the slacker, the one who never gets anything right. I even got careless with my belongings to booth.

At a point i confided in Mr. Capable and Mystery about the whole situation, wondering why so many things were beginning to befall me all at the same time.

It all started on a good note funny enough, 2 weeks ago. I left the house on Saturday after doing a bit of work at the office, with the intention of hooking up with the boys at Stadia to watch the United game (yep! Manchester United fan, bite me). Got there on time and it turned out to be our best performance of the season so far, with Berbartov grabbing 5 goals. I was ecstatic obviously and was still settling down to watch the next game when i got a call from Chairman, he accused me of trying to burn down the entire house. I immediately left the guys and rushed back home, wondering what could have possibly gone wrong... On walking in i smelt burnt wire.
This was surely not going to be good so i hurried into my room.
The lights had been cut out from the distribution box so maama followed me in with a flash light. The corridor seemed fine and there were no signs that anything had gone wrong so i turned my attention to the toilet... i didn't like what i saw, despite the fact that it was dark i could see and smell the smoke, the heater was blackened as well as half of the bath tub, to make matters worse the white half of the wall tiles were also black from smoke. The suspended ceiling tiles were not spared either. I stood there in shock. For a couple of minutes i was still trying to figure out if i had walked into the right room. Everything seemed out of place.
I definitely had a shouting match with Chairman before i called/BBMed the rest of the guys telling them what had happened. My night was over.

I spent the better part of Sunday scrubbing the entire bathroom and toilet from ceiling to floor. I definitely wasn't happy.
Chairman pinned it all on me, saying if i had remembered to switch off the water heater the fire would never have happened. That left me perplexed, i mean how could a water heater with a functioning thermostat burn up just like that.

It took the maintenance guys 4 days to detect and fix the problem, and it definitely wasn't from me. Chairman has not apologized till this very day.

Monday morning, myself and Mr. Capable went text book shopping, but we had to make a little detour around CITEC estate to purchase some flowers for the house. I had parked the car about 20 meters from where the flowers where sold and had just made my purchase when i noticed a couple of guys walking towards the car. I was getting in when i either instinctively or by divine intervention locked the car doors immediately. Within a split second of that singular action, i found the same suspicious guys on both sides of the car trying to open both doors. they kept on pointing down wards like i had dropped something. knowing i obviously had not, i jumped to the next conclusion; this was an attempted car jacking and i had very little time. I sped away like an F1 driver with no destination. Mr. Capable who had no idea whatsoever what was going on had to calm me down, i parked the car after a few minutes of driving, i was visibly shaken and not in the proper frame of mind to drive any further so Mr. Capable drove us back home.

The funny thing is in between these incidences, i had misplaced my ATM card on Sunday.

I couldn't understand what was going on anymore, within such a short space of time i had gone through all this and i wasn't going to settle for such an explanation as 'pure coincidence'.

By the end of the week, the car couldn't down shift from gear 4 to 3.That did it for me, i had to figure this out. at some point i tweeted: "i think its a woman". That's when i knew i was getting paranoid.

I gave myself a day to reflect on things without taking any drastic action and soon enough, things came to light. The car jacking was a close shave, the fire in my toilet was an external electrical fault and my ATM card was recovered although it was after i had it De- activated.

One obvious thing these events taught is; 'I'm very much human'.

Every thing's been fixed now though but i assure that lessons have been learnt. What i went through might be child's play compared to what others have faced, but i still am trying to figure this one out though...

Deuces!

Remembering Her...

2010-12-01T02:40:00.000-08:00

… It’s been 7 years now…..
It was evening already, Mr. Capable, lil mama and I where all moody.
It was as if we mutually agreed that times like this required we stayed holed up in Mumsie’s room, quietly, just watching TV, while we waited for the cook to make dinner. It was almost a year since the divorce and we still were trying to take it all in.
On this particular moody day, we just sat in her room watching Channel ‘O’ and the next song that came up was Boys to Men’s ‘A song for mama’. Half way through we had a cell phone in hand singing into the tiny receiver, obviously it was mumsie on the other side. She could barely stop herself from giggling. By the time we were done singing, we took turns in telling her how much we loved and missed her.
…..It’s been about 13 years now…….
I was still in secondary school and we were having one of our unnecessary anniversaries. The whole school was gathered on the assembly ground and I was amongst my class mates just standing under a canopy waiting for the event to end so I could head back to class (I probably had a comic book I so badly wanted to finish), all of a sudden my cousin walks appears, with Mr. Capable nearby she goes right towards him and gives him a hug. I stand there watching them, but right behind her I see my mum walk into the crowd too. Immediately someone to my right asks; “is that your sister”. I give him an incredulous look and before I can reply my friend to my left answers for me; “that’s his mum”.
Despite all this, all that mattered to me was when I heard her say; “where is Teniola?”
She did this after she bobbed her head about while sharing a joke with Mr. Capable and my cousin Bukky. She had a short cropped hair fixed and she looked so beautiful in a lemon and dark green dress with sleeves.

Most of you who don’t know me personally might be wondering what I’m going on about, but for those who do, this being the 1st of December, you’ll recall that it was 6 years ago on the 2nd of December that mum passed away.
I have uncountable memories I’d love to share about her with you guys, but for the past few hours these are the two that have been popping into my head.
It’s no understatement when I say I miss her so much. Life without her is definitely not the same. But like I always say, I have people around me who in their own ways manifest parts of her that I miss so much.
So despite her not being physically present, I still cherish these memories that come to me as well as my siblings who unknown to them posses attributes they inherited from her.
Thursday it is then, six years gone by. I’ll most likely be doing what I’ve done every 2nd of December, for the past 5 years. Celebrate the life of Miss. Omotoke Adebayo.
Deuces!

The 'R' Word.

2010-11-18T23:49:00.000-08:00

I can tell you what's wrong with your car by the sound the engine is making but i can never tell you what's wrong with your heart by the sound of your voice......

I'm an averagely good observer of people and i pride myself to a certain extent with the ability to predict a group of people's next move, but not the individual. You see the individual if left a lone is like a live wire... beating the ground restlessly feeling for momentum, hoping to be nudged by.. something.... someone.

The individual left alone is most likely unpredictable, that is why you'd most likely see a guy all by himself in a cafe reading a book (this is the same dude you might have seen three Fridays in a row at the club getting wasted with his buddies), the only explanation; his guys are either engaged in other activities he's not interested in or they're out of town. Hence he tries to act alone, he sits for a little while, ponders his next move, reflects on what he would habitually do by himself. Laundry? too boring, Call the girl he's been meaning to give a call? nah! she said she was leaving town last week, what a bout reading a book? hm mm.... sounds interesting... and off he goes, book in hand i Pod in pocket and a conviction in his mind that he'll definitely enjoy those few hours all by himself.

This was in partial my situation a few days ago. Just a few pages into the book, i found my mind driving down a different path... one not so affiliated with the particular text in front of me.
And boy, did my mind wonder.......

Through no particular form of inspiration or enlightenment i began to ask myself varying questions that touched on life and society, happenings and discourse but my mind seemed to nestle on one particular topic... Relationships. And before your minds start to get their typical ideas, i bid you to pause. I do not mean relationships in the narrow sense as is restricted to the interaction between a man and a woman, i mean it in its whole entirety. The relationship we have with God, with our Parents, our siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts, friends, colleagues, enemies and even the bogey man.

We all have the fitted boundaries within which we've been brought up to asses these various forms of relationships, through morals & culture, imbibed through religious teachings and over all the way society sees it.

But as an individual, how do you see these relationships?
What defines it for you?
Are these relationships formed and in line with what you were brought up to believe?

Personally as an individual, these relationships have different meanings to me.... the most underlying factor fundamentally is what is important though. 'RELATIONSHIPS'
without them we do not exist. that is why we have NIPOST, Address books, land lines, diaries, mobile phones, FACE BOOK, twitter, My space, Yahoo, parties and BBQs.. etc.

WE all build relationships as a means to different ends but the basic reason for having relationships is to exist.
Even Robinson Crusoe found 'his man Friday'. In an ambiguous way, this is sort of how i see some of my various relationships;

GOD: I have a million and one questions to ask, but i have just this one for now.... What's so special about SUNDAY?

My Parents: They instill in me the basal idealism they believe i need, they do their best to protect me from aspects of society they feel will scar me, yet they do not know my eyes have seen. I am effortlessly loyal.

My Siblings: My foundation, my innermost circle, the people who see me the way i truly am cause i am too aware that they have accepted me. I'd do anything for them, and i mean anything.

My Friends: The people who project my views of society, the guys i intellectually joust with. who i believe share a glimpse of the future with me. Who for no reason in particular i have developed an unexplainable bond. #no-homo.

My Lover: The woman who has my heart, she must be willing to give me her's. We both are human therefore are capable of rough handling on the occasion. We must strive to make each other better. I pray for her success and believe she prays for mine.

My Cousins: The people i hate to love. but i Love them any way.

"on a lighter note":

My enemies: What did i ever do to you??? Get a life.

My colleagues: Its nothing personal. I walk out that door and that's all we are, colleagues.

My Pastor: Sorry *sign of the cross* i just don't trust you. never will.

My Accountant: Keep on stealing the 5%, your accountant will still from you too.

The Bartender: I'll be nice to you just as long as you don't spit in my cocktail

Tax collector: 'F' u!!!

The guy/lady i bump into round the corner: keep walking

have a great weekend guys...

Deuces..

Who Send Me message???

2010-11-01T01:10:00.000-07:00

And i had a monster of of a weekend, well more like monster of a end of the weekday. Fact is I'm still not fully recovered yet. Full fitness is still a few naps away.

In other news, my friend Skills is not well. Either someone installed a nuclear reactor in his bio-system or he's on something we don't know about. #Thatisall .

Some of you have started checking out my second blog 'Political Griffin'. the address is www.poligriff.blogspot.com. Those of you who have visited the the blog deserve an apology from me. my last post had a couple of typos which i failed to correct before posting. I can assure you that they won't happen again.
Was in a rush when i was putting it up and in a way its not even complete if you'd observe, especially with the brief anti- climax that was the end.

I got re-introduced to BYOB on Thursday and it was no small shindig.

I had the opportunity of attending the premier of 'Inale' thanks in no small part to teeweezee and i confess i was more than impressed.
Finally a Nigerian musical with a rich story that could be considered a classic.
I'm going to be honest, it was a good movie, yes, just a good movie by international standards.

By the time i was done with that, i hooked up with the boys at Stadia and trust me they were in in the mood for some partying.
So imagine about 6 guys all suited up walking into the club, no one had a girl cause we made up our minds that it was gonna be a sarging night (wing men aplenty).

The first person i saw when i got in was Skills with his friend CFC. they already were on some Vodka and juice ise and i immediately joined in. in no time i was feeling the buzz and Mr. Capable introduced me to E; petit and cute with a shy smile. The place was looking like a sausage fest at that moment so i did a bit of looking around.
I was just about consulting with Skills when the chicks came into the club in droves. things were beginning to even out and in no time I was grinding hips with a couple of chicks and trying to chase down a few couple more. I have to admit, suiting up was not a bad idea.

Mystery and Phoenix ditched us a few hours after midnight but Mr. Capable and i showed no signs of slowing down.
We left the place at about 3:30AM for the crib. On the way home i couldn't help thinking how useless i was going to be the next day.
true to form Chairman had a thousand and one things for me to do as early as 7:30, coupled with the fact that i had to get lil'mama to her office before 7:45. i felt pretty sorry for myself but accepted the situation as my full responsibility.
By noon i called up Mystery if he had a place in his office building for me to rest my head, as soon as he answered in the affirmative i was there in half the time it would normally have taken me. I managed to get about 15 minutes of sleep before my phone started conspiring with my enemies.

By evening, i was back at Stadia with the rest of the crew and a few other guys downing a couple of bottles of Vodka. This night around we upped the ante, hitting not one, not two but four spots that night.

7:00AM Saturday morning, one more bottle of Vodka down and countless memorable night scenes flashing in my mind, i trudged towards the crib, making a solemn oath to stay indoors. That wasn't to be; Saturday was Grandma's birthday dinner and there was no way in hell i was gonna miss that.

Lets just say the rest of the weekend was literally a snooze.

I'm probably not gonna be doing partying on this magnitude again for the foreseeable fortnight.
I recall when I'd always be on a run like this for 2 consecutive months before I'd give slowing down a thought.

Hopefully, next weekend is a bit mellow and sane for me. If it doesn't turn out that way then i still will take full responsibility.

as always, Deuces!

The Judas Effect.

2010-10-15T14:37:00.000-07:00

Friend ship is a funny aspect of life. We all have our distinct and dare I say peculiar ways of navigating.

Tonight I confess I'm bitter and vexed. I experienced a sour aspect of friendship I pray we all do not encounter. That which makes those who have experienced such similar encounters bite their lips so hard, they taste the blood.

Betrayal. So true and so real. Starkly available for those unassuming.

Yes, I feel betrayed. By someone I risked trusting. Someone I hoped would prove all else wrong.
Now I have become another recurring statistic.
"How many of you have been betrayed by a loved one or friend?" And my hand would go up almost immediately if I was to be honest with myself.

I'm a very loyal person. And what makes it worse is, I demand almost equally the same in kind. Though I have come to expect that such a thing is not possible.

But here is someone who I expected a whole lot from. Who I believed valued a friend ship long nurtured.

And in one fell swoop he turned his back on me and let the vultures circle.

I feel anger, pain, disgust and sadness.
He has played his part in the life lessons I must learn.
And today, after weeks of denial and prodding. I finally burst with all the available emotions.

"Guy, I was loyal to you as a brother, I regarded you with the utmost respect, but your actions proved to me that you are just.... Human."

I rest my case.

It is finished...
I hope the 30 pieces of silver buy you more than a field.
Doubt if you’d hang yourself sef.

Deuces.

2010-10-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

eheheheheheh.......

OK OK.... its not twitter's fault this time. Its work oh... about 3 weeks into the new job and things are happening.

Got my first verbal warning from the boss bout 2 days ago, and trust me, it wasn't about my work. Predictably it was about my manner of reporting.

Apparently he expects me to be back at the office by 5:00pm to give him a status report of my daily activities.
*blank stare* I'm looking at him like, oga, you've got an i Phone with Internet facilities as well as a Black Berry with BIS, an e-mail address. and you expect me to always come back to the office by 5 o' clock.

hmmmm.... i never get power.

But all in all its a good life, I get up like i usually do, i get dressed for work and head downstairs to the office. The uncertainties keep me excited.
I always head out with a positive view and my to- do list.

And it seems like Chairman knows I'm not putting APL in my long term plans.

The humorous side to the whole thing is the attempted hook - ups Chairman has tried to arrange.
He doesn't even try to hide it.. (guess its in line with his vision 2011*).

ooh; vision 2011 means that AT least one of the three of us must be having a wedding by this time next year.
Na the man know oh....

I'm staying away from woman wahala for now (except for Choc _The_Ripper).

The other good news is Elow came in last week and we had a ball throughout. For the first time in almost a year i had all my Eggz in one basket.
it was Eggz style chilling all the way, which culminated in the small shindig we had at Mr. Capable's madam's house and lets just say the guys did a little bit of choreography......

From there we moved on to our new office (Stadia)and then on to Aqua.
I'm proud to say that we all have HOs or other ailments to show for a night alcoholically well spent.

SBB didn't hear his alarm go off this morning, Mr. Capable had too be pummeled awake, and Chairman thought it fit to wake me up an hour and a half after i finally went to bed. The only people who got off easy were Mystery & Phoenix.

Now the problem i have is getting back to sleep. My restless mind won't let me.

Well, in other news, the bomb attacks near eagles square almost ruined the Nigeria at 50 celebrations. The saddest thing about the whole tragedy is the quick finger pointing and the unguarded statements being made.

I have expressed my displeasure at the lack of professionalism shown by both public servants and Security Operatives in Government,but this past week has seen far more lows.

I'll save all that for another post.

My parting shot is;

Who ever thinks voting for IBB is a good idea should get off this blog... "Short term memory span having pant"
mean while, go check out my boy's blog www.skills-pinokio.blogpsot.com. i dey manage the boy (my Guy my G)

as always.... Deuces!

So Far....

2010-09-24T03:36:00.000-07:00

By tomorrow, it would have been a week since I left my previous work place and it'll also be five days into the new one.
Yes, it didn't take that long.
I apparently have been fight this battle for so long, running aways from what seemed like my inevitable destiny.

Many years ago when I was still in college (University like we call it also), Chairman hauled me down to Abeokuta to be on site with him... In the midst of my grumbling and obvious disgust at being pulled away from the opportunity to be a typical teenager, I found myself sweating it out with men, even going as far as hauling equipment through over growth. On one of those days, he mentioned something in passing that has in some way, now taken full form. He said.. "After all, I set this all up for you...you'll be the one to take over all this one day..

Almost 8 years down the line I'm sitting here, in my office which is adjoining his, as the newly appointed Project Manager.

I admit I fought this thing for many years, telling myself as well as who ever wanted to listen that I wanted nothing to do with this company.

Infact, Chairman and I could barely stand each other most times.

Its my irony in every sense.

Now I see a much more potent challenge in front of me. My previous job compared to this was a walk in the park.
Now I have a lot to prove to myself and day by day it becomes much more apparent that I haven't seen anything yet.
If chairman has any faith in me, I do not know.
Each day that passes by will tell.

In other news, some sort of normallcy has returned back into my life, my world no longer revolves around the four walls of a building and the world definitely seems much more bigger once again.

Maybe I'll finally have more time for blogville, I know not.

Have you guys been keeping abreast of the happenings in the political sphere? Nuhu Ribadu just declared his candidacy for the presidency.... Eheheheheheheh.... I fear I might wake up tomorrrow to find out Donkeys have started flying.... *ooopps*

Lemme take the opportunity to wish myself !!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Yes.. It seems self absorbing but truth is I don't expect it to get much more exciting than this.

Later peeps... Deuces!

The End had been nigh...

2010-09-17T13:13:00.000-07:00

So today's my last day on the job, it was supposed to be the 1st of October.
I got called up to the Boss's office and was told my services were no longer required after the end of the work day.
Now what do you know?
13 days to my final day and they drop this on me.
I apparently had it coming. I mean my attitude changed and I only performed my basic duties not pushing myself up to and beyond my accustomed limits.
One significant thing I had stopped doing was addressing Memos that related to finances. It was my own way of considerably reducing my activities to a bareable minimum. I found nothing wrong in this decision personally. Apparently other people did.
Now I'm sitting at a cozy joint reflecting on the past 13 months of my life at this establishment.
One thing is clear, it was never a complete waste of time. Maybe time could have been properly manageddoing other self improving and productive things but I confess that I don't entirely have good things to say about my departure.
I'm not one to dwell on the trivial to be honest but now I see that it is the very things I considered trivial that have placed me at this current position.
In truth I have always had issues with authority right from a young age and I can't say I learnt or adapted to the whole structure within this new establishment. All that mattered was the job and the result. All else was trivial (call me Achilles). And I can assure you I did my job with aplomb.
But just like mythological Achilles my weakness was apparent, not a physical appendage but I confess it was very visible to the trained eye.
I choose at this point not to point a finger, though I must confess that I have lost a friend I considered valuable.

Life must go on, and it already has. My mind though at this point is still saturated in a mixture of anger, sadness and excitment, it still is perplexed. WTF happened?
Its funny how I never referred particularly to anyone in my office directly on this blog, guess its cause my subconcious knew things I didn't.
Like I said about this same time last year; the future isn't all too clear, but I'm walking into it with an open mind and something tells me you'll not always have to check my blog to hear about me.

You think I'm not in any way scared. Maybe slightly.... But yet again, uncertainty does that to you.

My Dynamics

2010-09-09T15:22:00.000-07:00

I'm currently under medication and my mind is restless.
Its just interchanging thoughts and randomly for that matter... several issues fill my mind now and its not worrying at the moment. They should be insignificant ... What is paramount right now is the question i want to put forward to my few and far between readers.

How far have you come in your journey of life and what is your current assessment?

Over the last weekend i embarked on a trip to Akure, Ondo state. The reason being the witnessing of the solemnisation ceremony of my college (University) buddy and Former Room mate. For over 3 years about 4 of us shared a flat. I guess he was the oldest. there were the other two guys; Gando and Gestapo. funny enough they shared the same name.

Fast forward 4 years after all of us were expected to have graduated.
and in the middle of July i get a phone call from him (we called him sonita). He proudly announced to me that he was getting married on the 4th of September and had chosen me as one of his grooms men.

As i sat in the Van taking me to Akure, i reflected on what i was about to witness. In truth, he seemed like he was going to be the first of us who was going to ditch bachelorhood.
The question now was have i ever given myself to the eventuality of this sacred institution?

In life's journey it is almost part of the rites of life for a long living man to aspire to take a wife who shall become his mate, and also it is the same for a woman.

Of my few readers, i guess that majority of you are young people. At one point or the other you all shall make that decision to take a life partner.

the truth is this in my opinion is the most sacred of rites as we pass through this world.

Death, which is inevitable is also one of those; to become dust again.

I question myself if my awareness has brought me to this very threshold.
If in truth, at my over twenty something years on earth i have come to the point where i ask myself; will you take a wife? Have you found one who your heart longs to merge with or to raise a family with?

I think about it, i hesitate.. are you thinking about it?
What stage are you on?

Have you found a partner?
These questions are several, they make up a list you might find in any marriage counselling medium.

But i ask you as one of you? It is not to urge you or pressure you? because in truth the question might not be about a life partner, it might be about you Position at work, evaluation of friendship and relationships, it could be about the need to become somebody or make a mark.

The most paramount thing is; ask yourself; where are you right now, and do you think you are meant to be there at this point in your life.

It took me months to evaluate, sometimes i would hesitate. But i finally am at the point where i know my position and and know where i should be (not in the marriage sense oh!).

I'm making a move now, with God in my heart and a past full of experience.

It changes from here on for me.
What about you?

Are you static or you really want to move?

Deuces!

Swiss Beatz isn't gonna be here....

2010-09-02T15:43:00.000-07:00

"I've got a million ways to get it.... choose one, Hey!!! bring it back, double your money and make a stack..... I'm on to the next one..."

I'm so biting Jigga’s flows..
"big pimping in the house now...."

I've always been a fan of Jay-z, in more ways than simply his Music, he's inspired me.
Bone all that Illuminati talk abeg...

this is a man who started from barely scrap to hustling in the streets... making his name into a major brand.

His story is one of Perseverance and Dedication to his Art, consolidation and finally diversification.

Then there's the hot chick on his arm.... Upgrade who? she better think twice, that dude needs an accessory, not an upgrade.

"I don't get dropped, I drop the label.... "

I just made a big decision, i walked away from a likely secure position, now i see myself in a wilderness of uncertainty.

I have ranted, complained, bitched about how crappy and interesting my job is.... but at some point i decided to give myself an expiration date.

A date which would either see me leave this company or rededicate myself to it.

Now the date has come and sadly I have to say, it sees me saying 'goodbye'

I turned in the piece of paper yesterday...
A month from now, I’ll begin working for Chairman.

Yeah! A lot of you who know about our relationship will be wondering what could possibly lead me in this most unlikely direction....

Truth is, i just have a feeling about this, a desire, to build something... to create an empire....

"Niggaz don't be mad cause it’s all about progression, loiterers should be arrested...."

It truly is all about progression, and from my stand point, Progression doesn't come if you sit by waiting.

You could argue that I enjoyed the privilege of meeting people and making contacts. The truth is even if I had met a thousand people who were viable contacts, I’d probably not be ready.

Whatever was there for me to learn, i had seen and learnt and discovered i had no interest in such.

My mind had become suffocated, gasping for air in the face of a controlling central structure, the whims of ruling overlords and the bickering of the very embodiment of too much estrogens.

I had survived all this for 12 months (that itself is an achievement).

So now that this chapter winds to its end, the phrase is ; "on to the next one"

Jigga made several multi- platinum selling records and still is waxing stronger in other aspects of his business...

I sit here, with no other job offer.

I'll always cherish the memories i have of this place, and the people...

It was a wonderful one year. A year of awakening. An awakening of the desire to become my own man.

This place sure taught me how to cultivate that desire.
Now i have to put to practice what i have learnt.

It’s not going to be an easy road for me, but I’ll have to take it one step at a time....

"....the world can't hold me, too much ambition..."

Ungrateful Rant

2010-08-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

I learn every day, from other people and events around me, but like many other people, experience being the best teacher is the one closest to home.
Experience unlike other teachers doesn't give you that menacing stare or that whip on your behind.
Its not far off for you to watch.
Experience is you in the act, doing the act, experience is in your head, recording every decision, every action.
When the end of the particular lesson is there for you. Your mind plays you the reel.
You see it all, as you acted it out. Word for word, taking you through every moment and emotion, you can never escape it.... cause if a similar scenario plays out, experience plays out in your mind and you're immediately alert.

I've got a great relationship with experience for one simple reason; i no dey hear word. Tell me not to do something one minute, I'll most likely be doing it the next moment your face is turned away.

I'm just like that. Maybe its cause of being indulged as a child. Don't think I'm blaming my folks cause they definitely tried to correct me, but my extremes where, lets just say, bothersome....

I've spent a year working day and night for this company, and for the first time I'm going against my norms; which is being unreasonably stubborn. Now I'm just fed up.

Typically i would have stuck to my guns and said I'd see this through, stick it out through all the shit I've been shoveling.
Tell anyone who cared that i wasn't going to do what was expected of me. Because the truth is, this place sucks. After a year and I'm still given the same treatment, if not worse.
Rather than wait for my reward here, I'll expect it in heaven.
In no way in my employment contract did they say either party was a charity or a volunteer program.

Employment agreements in Nigeria are becoming more like slave contracts day by day. Sadly no one seems concerned cause the next guy doesn't mind having your job. In Nigeria its better to have a job that offers shit than become inventive or requires you to think on your feet.

In a lot of ways I have no idea what life after I leave this place is going to be like (maybe i will sooner than I think). But I'm sure I'm fed up of this kind of ass kissing.

All around me, ingenuity has died, instead, what is replaced is a desire to please the boss.

Its utter rubbish, and in my own opinion, has strong signs of the death of individualism.

But who am i to say anything....

I'm just the supervisor......

Re- Up.. Smiley style..

2010-08-19T15:36:00.000-07:00

yeah ! yeah! yeah! i know, its been a while, almost # months to be exact.
After all the promise and oaths i have taken in front of Obatala and Sango i still ignored my blog.
Go jor!!! haven't you made me feel guilty enough...
well in the event that any of you sees this post please accept another apology letter from your Humble Griffin.
Its actually more like an excuse.
The truth is there have been so many factors......
from finding my centre to rediscovering the Love which i thought was once lost (yup! Smiley's back).
to twitter addiction (follow me @griffinstreaks).. eheheheheheheh.....
Then there's the work... Oh the whole of it. WORK!!!!

I know i shouldn't be complaining but work is one helluva binsh...
Haba! if my parents had properly explained to me that i would have to work this hard to earn a mere living, i would probably have conned them into believing I had down syndrome or something like that.
but at the end of the day, my mind is a restless place and it endlessly seeks ways to express itself.

Then there's Smiley. Cute, feisty and a full of strenght. like i always say, don't be fooled by her delicate frame...

i lost her cause i got lost... I hurt her cause i was selfish. And all this time she was there.
Checking up on me, calling me, making sure i was doing fine.

it was when I found my centre... the point where i dumped all the baggage i forced myself to carry around that i truly realized what i was letting go.
At that point I felt i had lost her.

Smiley was still there, is still there, holding out her arms. All i want to do is run into them, hold her close and tight. tell her i don't want to let her go anymore, not for all the diamonds in the world.

No this isn't a Hollywood script. Its for real. as in me being dead serious.

And she tweets!

you should see her tweets.. gosh! talk about a sense of humour...

there are days i just think about blog ville, wonder why i haven't been on in a while. maybe its laziness or just lack of inspiration. I do miss it though and re- emphasise my commitment to this sacred place.

There are a lot of things i wanna talk about on blog ville, but now isn't the time.

I'll be back before you can say 'Ebele Jonathan'

Noise from Hell

2010-06-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

So the world cup has begun and i have a confession to make; I think I've seen too much foortball in my life i might just ignore this sacred competion.

Just this once guys. My head can only take so much.
I even have a feeling the players aren't too commited to have a go at it this time, i mean its not exactly their bread and butter. And in this new dawning age, Glory is being redefined.
So if any one's really looking forward to gutsie performances and blood. maybe you should tune in to another show, like 'UFC'.

This world cup is unique to most of the people i know because its the first ever to be held on African soil, cue the Vuvuzelas... oh yes it really means something, A vuvuzela is really an existing object.

For we Africans who have developed a following of football around the continent, you might have come across these objects while watching a South African league match (PSL).

They're long horns (bout 3ft 3 inches) made of plastic and .... they sound so annoying.

Most football loving fans in Africa already heard about these contraptions from God know where when we watched the 2008 African nations cup when they hit us by suprise.
Unlike what is observed now, Africans in the sub saharan region mostly greeted it with indeference.
To them it was just one of the many diverse things they were introduced to by the rapidly shrinking village that this world is now becoming.

The Vuvuzela didn't meet such similar reception in 2009... at the confederation's cup it divided opinions and generated its own publicity.

At the Confefderations Cup, the vuvuzela was introduced to the world and the world was not impresssed. In fact it got both local and international voices calling for it to be banned for the world cup.

Others disagreed and the debate went on and on till we arrived at this point, its the 2010 FIFA world cup and the matches are well underway.

The Vuvuzelas are as strong as ever.
Some have given it various names, but the one i find most captivating is the title name; "Noise from hell"....
The reason being that there's nothing pleasing about the noise. it cannot be traced to any traditional heritage in particular and has several people claiming its creations and origins.

This object can best be described in one word; Annoying.
it simply blurts out proabably a stolen yawn from the devil you might say.

To top it all off, the Vuvuzela has been known to cause hearing loss through exposure to its irritating sound. claims have been made that its typical noise level is measured at 127 decibels and players have complained that it hinders concentration and communication.

Maybe they should have bannd the damned things sef or maybe not.
probably we'll all get used to it and our ear drums could get accustomed.

All i know is for now the damn things are straight outta Hell!!!

Re- up

2010-06-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

If you follow my blog you would have concluded by now that I know nothing about relationships or to phrase it long; matters of the heart.

almost every tri- blog i'm most likely talking about or complaining about matters of the heart.
then there's my last post.
Featuring another round of oooohhhs and aaaaahs coming from my by now exhausted heart. "i'm sure if my heart had hands had facial expressions, it would look like Rachel Oniga during her crying role days in Nollywood".

Since i started this Blog in 2009 i've gone through one sort of emotional drama to another.
its not exactly Rocket science to deduce that i've been over indulged.

So i've made up my mind, i'm not going to be talking about the things i am most practically inept at.
instead i shall now focus on the aspects of life that I thrive on.

Example....... ...............

huh!!!

10 minutes later and i'm clueless.

What do i thrive on?

maybe when i figure it out i'll make it official.
Onto serious issues;
Any one know where i can get another job? this job right here's sucking the life out of me. Yes i know, if I had studied harder i'd probably be in one oil coy or something.
but here i am... Job's not so bad, save for the lack of a social life, no weekends and 17 hours a day shifts every other day. but i'm not here to whine.

I just need another job. Somewhere with more structure, a place where i don't necessarily have to be treated as family but where i get my due.

My current work place is more like an extended family and as usual in any social dynamic i find myself, i'm gradually gravitating towards becoming the typical outcast, nothing special though.
Its just my way; rebellious & non- conformist.

Seems like i've gotten boring.... someone i told about this said i was just getting matured.
for me i think work is just making me forget about a lot of things.
I don't want to become the kind of old folks who get stuck in a particular period.

Imagine if i get stuck in this time. My kids would definitely get laughed at in school....
"hahahahahaha... your daddy still wears skinny jeans"
That's a nightmare!!!

Smiley

2010-06-07T15:58:00.000-07:00

These words are mine, they convey pain, joy, love, anger and regret.... these words are my realities, at a time when it seems like i have let one get away. 'The one'.....

Forgive me if this post does not take up any regular or coordinated pattern...

these are my words ,the words that come forth when i think of smiley.....

Meeting her for the first time;
.....wow, this one's got a smart mouth, but she can't try me when i've got my buzz,...... OK she's good.....
"what do you do?"
she tells me she's in Gwags studying law.... my family's bread that is....

First time i drive over to her place to pick her up for the first time, there she is walking elegantly out of her house...
she's wearing jeans but she's got shorts in her bag cause i told her to wear them...
she's in the back seat of the car changing... i don't steal a peak (i swear down)

later that evening we're having fun and all of a sudden she's dull, i wanna know what's up, she tells me not to worry. i can't help it, i just can't stand her looking like that. i lift her up in the air from her waste hold her there for a few seconds and say through my uneasy breathing; "i got you",

Oh my God!!! That smile... it tames me.... I try to kiss her in the car on our way back but she tells me no, I've been smoking....

She makes me wanna quit tobacco.... even if its to get a lip.

me and smiley can't stop texting... its all i ever do... she's always there... typing away... coming up with something witty.

and when we're together... i love it when she falls asleep in my arms....

on a friday Evening, she calls me that she's coming over, i'm already with the boys at the local.. having a beer. *shit!!! i hop into the car and drive like Roger Moore... Toothpaste and and a tooth brush can't do much harm???

By the time she gets to the house i look as guilty as sin.

On a odd day that i get off work early, i'm chilling with the boys,
she shows up and sits with me throughout... i go get something from the car and stand a few yards a way chatting with Mr. Capable... he's talking about something else completely but my mind isn't there... i'm staring at her, thinking to myself; "this is it, this is what i want"
I never realize i'm saying it out loud...
Mr. Capable looks at me and till this very day, he never lets me forget.

Now its almost a year on, Smiley has come smiley has gone... Smiley was almost set to return to me... our ups and downs have gone beyond the flat lines on a hospital life support monitor.

Most of the misdeeds are traceable to only me... I'm as guilty as sin (how ironic).

Today I said some of the most terrible things ever to come out of my mouth to her. I said them and its too late to take them back I guess, she'll probably hate me forever.

Smiley is special. Emotional and yet brutally honest.

I let her slip away and when she was about to reach back and hold my hand once again i lost it. I couldn't wait a bit much longer.

If i could do this now what would I have done if she came back to me.

I probably don't deserve her. She probably deserves someone better.

I'm alone now. All by myself.
"Maybe you'll forgive me ..." ... i think to myself

But if you do return. I don't want to ever lose you again.

Smiley i miss you.

Smiley

Incomplete......

2010-05-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

truth fades in these trying time,
pain has become an appendage,
Worth's scale has been corrupted,
yet we all find a niche,
we all serve out our time,
life's changes are acceptable,
all of it.

we thrust forward like arrows,
hurling towards the unknown,
our edges blunting with distance,
purpose has becomes relative,
trading truth for convenience,
all of us.

Thank God Its First Friday

2010-05-17T14:18:00.000-07:00

>>>> "e no easy eeehhh"
>>>> "whether e good or bad..."

just listening to the P- square song and really feeling it... sorta..

Truth be told, i've got a lot of respect for the music industry in Naija.
When the Established Foundation collapsed in the late 80's and everyone had to fend for themselves, one would have thought it would take a decisive government intervention to help salvage the artist from the greed of Pirates.

well we all know how long that would have taken (vision 2020 bawo?).

Well fast forward to the year 2010... its getting bigger and bigger... i mean, even the guys with no form of talent get to go abroad to shoot videos... *smh

though it says a lot of the musical preferences of the present consumer demography it still sheds a positive light on how much we're encouraging musical creativity, no matter how shallow it can sometimes be.

As for me i'm glad its in my time that this is all happening...
And through Thank God its First Friday, fans have the opportunity to see artist for free and more up close and personal than it can ever be here in Abuja.

I'm proud i'm a part of such a big thing like this. over the past five months we've seen this event grow from something attracting as much as 45 people to a such a crowd puller, we've had to close the gates....

I sure hope Thank God its First Friday becomes something bigger than we ever dreamed of.

My Dear

2010-04-28T16:02:00.000-07:00

Hello Blogville!!! its been a while i know.

Twitter stole me away and Facebook is seeking a divorce, but you!
in your patience and silence i still hear you calling me, drawing me back to you.
our connection is not like any of the other two, yours and mine is truly different, as you permit me a different kind of freedom. My expressions on twitter are mostly short and almost spasmic. Facebook feels more like a junket; either you want to show off or make a fool of yourself.
Even if you could allow me do both, the regard i have for you ensures i never do such a thing, instead it is an outpouring at most times of the deep thoughts within the valley of my soul.

So many times when i have felt as if a listening ear was never around, or i felt something needed to be said, no matter how hurriedly or boring it might be, i have always found your white screens comforting. (i might not have written something so deep or divulged many secrets).

its been over two months since the invasion of the Blackberry into my life and it hasn't gotten any better. it has become an appendage i can barely do without, I'm sure, pretty soon I'll be accessing you from the little gizmo.

one way or another i still strive to become a better person yet i want more like every one else.

my realization that my degree of self- centredness is disturbing worries me, urging me to admit to a really deep seated issue i am yet to address.

Blogville, work has had its fair share of ups and downs. "its a job" is what I keep telling myself, and I've come to learn a lot from those that surround me.

But the politics is scary, gossip and back biting makes me worry. what are the words used when i become the topic of discussion.... i have no false ideas that i am a saint.

i just hope my case is not bad enough to confine me to the silence of withheld advice.

I just want to be alone these days... in as much as i miss my boys: SBB, Mystery, Phoenix and Mr. Capable i still crave that solitude, being lost in thought even if it were because of the trivial, because my mind is my true home.

it paints funny pictures sometimes but it never hides the real details. And it is with this mind i hope i make a firm decision that could ultimately save me.

its 12:26 past midnight and I'm still at the office.

I'm tired and my body aches so bad. Blogville i wish i could stay longer tonight, but I'll get back to you as soon as i can. just know i still think about you a lot.... well not as much as i think about her though..(lol).

Goodnight blogville.

I neeed to make some money!!!

2010-04-08T14:59:00.000-07:00

OK i just did something for free a lot of people would get paid to do.... advertise a product on their Blog... but heck. I'm doing it any ways. Its The event we do here at the mall every first Friday of the month.
Music and drinks all the way. One Headliner and a host of Up and coming artists.

It started out small but gradually its beginning to gain momentum.
First time we had Praise from Project Fame headlining for us then it was Mo-Cheda after that we were graced by the presence of Rooftop Mcs.

I'm not gonna let the cat outta the bag just yet, but its gonna be double bigger (if I'm permitted to say that)....

If you're in Abuja be sure to check it out.

its TG1stF : thank God its First Friday.

Easter Tweets...

2010-04-05T15:59:00.000-07:00

just finished bowling with some of my colleagues at from the office. it sort of marked the end of the hectic holiday for us being that we all haven't had time to do what we guys usually do every now and then. Easter brought with it a mad rush never seen at the mall and we had one heck of a time managing things. tempers were tested (including mine), limits were exceeded....
one way or the other we all got through.
I have to say at this point that I'm proud of the guys I work with, i have developed a great deal of respect for the dedication they have put into their work.
In an hour or less I'll be on my way home tiredly excited to embrace my pillow and ignore the usual morning calls for the family devotion in the chapel when the normal people in the house get up. And my loving family would look upstairs and think; "leave him, he worked late last night".
I wish.....
not this time...
Tomorrow, even if i skipped the early morning prayers, I'd never be able to escape chairman. He's definitely going to look for me whether i like it or not.
For Pete's sake I missed his birthday and didn't even get him a card.... how would i explain to him that i though it was the 6th instead of the 5th???

I'm so beat... i need that rest and day off so bad.

I've gone BB crazy!!! its been just over a month now and i can't seem to stay in a conversation alone for a full 100%, instead, the conversation involves; me, my BB, the person/people I'm PINGing and the People/person I'm having the conversation with.

so if you're in front of me or chatting with me via BB, there's a high possibility that you're not the only one in an obscure conversation that involves talking about two different things at the same time. the only person who's safe would most likely be the person on the other side of the Pinging, cause he won't hear me laugh or get any "lol" instant messages for a joke he didn't crack.
on the other hand The guy/ guys in front of me would think I'm losing it.

Poor guy would probably think I'm trying to get rid of him faster than he'd want to leave.

So i discovered twitter... that land of brilliant one liners and short message tirades... e-toasting and hook ups. It's so bad I've almost done to Facebook what i did to Hi5.
though i still throw pictures on the damn thing every now and then.
Fortunately for FB I've got over 600 peeps I'm friends with n that's way more followers i have on twitter.

for me the family is small (or twam as my fellow tweeps call it) but one heck of a rowdy bunch.
i can barely stay away from the damn thing. Its just crazy.

Then there's the mad people I'm following who i wonder sometimes if they actually can be normal everyday folks in real life..... hmmmm....

for those of you who haven't... better go check it out.

I'm putting my right hand on my chest and swearing by my common sense that I'll try and stay out of the office tomorrow... get enough food into my tiny stomach while trying to avoid chairman.

You guys go watch 'Clash Of the Titans'

How much do you want it.......

2010-03-18T15:13:00.000-07:00

For your information, i haven't answered that question myself...... Was looking through YouTube and stumbled across the title track for the Hip- hop world awards: how much do you want it? Then it hit me... "how much do I want it?" I've never pushed that question around in my head, instead i leave my head filled with ideas that I understand what it takes to want, to desire, to strive..... in truth, i might have the knowledge of what it takes, but have I applied it. Have I convinced myself how much I really want it? or its still an idea... an awareness that still hasn't been pushed into reality...

Its troubling when I look at things in that perspective, because in real time evaluation, I haven"t followed through despite my high expectations...
all I can recall is mediocrity.

Shiiittt!!! I've really done it this time.
All this while performances and results have never peaked slightly above average and I have allowed that discontent to marinate within me.

I guess its time to expel this troll of an attitude. To welcome this unicorn that in its rarity is pure perfection.

Why shall i settle for such a thing as this?

In distractions I have found excuses.... piling them on to obstruct my view form the goals I have set.

I alone can save myself. If I can realize all this then what am I waiting for?
I will not compare myself or deem myself better than the one ahead or behind me, instead I will elevate my standards above perfect and strive to become something out of this world.

In everything I do I must become a dominant specie.

Look at yourself and ask... have you realized this as well? Do you feel the weight of sub par performances and results weighing you down?

What do you want to do about it....
How will you go about becoming the best you really are?

To say you are satisfied is not just a quit notice, its a desire to become forgotten.....

Possibly like me you've taken the fictitious role of blending in with the back ground yet your soul hungers for something more, you attempt to subdue it insanely but it yearns for a bigger role, refusing to be buried in history's forgotten chapters, or worse still the appendix that was never written.

Well i say NO!!!

You or me shall not yield. our minds shall not become ceste pits of unexplored possibilities...

I challenge you like i do myself to become a figure and not a statistic...

How much DO do you want it?

I AM LEGEND

2010-03-06T14:20:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here with a finger in my mouth, wondering.... " what is happening to me"?

in the past six months what have I been doing to myself that makes me feel this way... I'm not the same person any longer... then yet again, I've never been a normal person to begin with.

But making matters worse is my slow deterioration in several aspects. Its no joke and I'm sure I'm making a poor effort at sounding sarcastic. I think about the different decisions I've made in the past few months i wonder if I've followed my routine natural progression (something tells me I have regressed.

Through it all I only have the experiences that have come with the times.

I want to believe i write these words with no pain or regret. I want to believe I have offended only a few people over the course of this period. I sit here in front of these key boards unable to talk openly about these experiences because I have lived a life in the shadows of near secrecy and silence.

When did I choose to take this part? How could I believe I would find happiness in such indulgence.

When a seed is planted in the total darkness it shall not rise from the earth with a flourish..... it most likely will die, forgotten.

I look at myself and my eyes feel lifeless. I fear I have become so in active I struggle to make an effort not to be mistaken for a furniture. Food has lost its place in my heart as well.... My weight loss could easily be attributed to work but I know the truth.

Where has my happiness gone?
Yes I am unhappy, possibly heading towards a slight bout of depression. But the zeal to live has not left me. I still enjoy the rising of the sun and the smell of dry air.

I will start afresh, that's what I will do, I have always found renewal in new beginnings..... Yes, the glint in my eyes shall return.

A stronger me shall arise from these ruined shells I am covered in.

Take my word for it..... I'm not going to stay down and give up......I TRULY AM LEGEND...

Church for Yar' adua

2010-02-28T03:07:00.000-08:00

Today's a Sunday, yeah, i didn't make it to church but i easily could have. I woke up this morning thinking About a lot of things.... most especially the reason why i wasn't even bothered about not attending morning service. Then I thought again what if I did? I probably would have felt the same. Or maybe I would have reconnected with the basis of my upbringings again... my faith would have been strengthened.... all these possibilities are true. they are glaringly true but I'll never know until I try. Church for me isn't the problem its the act of getting there, realizing that The hollowed chambers of worship differentiates you from another person is what disturbs me.

I see numerous people on a daily basis, i talk to several of them and as i do this, i realize how similar we are yet so different. they have their own views about life and in a small way we are all connected through one tiny aspect of each other's lives.
whether in views, religion, ideals, family or destiny. But one thing stands true; we are all Human.

Then i remember the days when Religion was one of the things that almost tore my family apart. Those days i watched helplessly as one person hauled the other to a church they didn't want to go to. It really made me wonder what the fuss really was all about.

And this was about the same christian faith, the only differing quality between the two options was barely noticeable.
Then I discover that one of the main subjects of discourse amongst we idle Nigerians is religion. despite our diversity we sometimes are oblivious to the sensitivity of the situation.
I've met several people who refuse to make religion a deterring factor in the choices the make with respect to a diverse range of issues and I've met people who do the opposite.
It never really sunk in until I got a feel of it; she said one of the reasons we could not be together was because I didn't attend the same church that she want to.... I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

Several instances have made me realize how unchanging the trend is to a large extent.

maybe I'm just being over dramatic i don't know. I guess I'll just say my piece and keep a lid on it from here on.

THE RETURN OF YAR' A DUA

they're finally back. who said the dude was dead? we'll if he really is dead then who did the SSS do all the 007 movement for at 1:47 AM in morning. if the dude is truly dead then it means Nigeria is the first country to have an incapacitated dead president somewhere between a hospital bed and limbo.

but what is so interesting about this whole soap opera is the fact that the dude was brought back only when his people started hearing Impeachment Rumours.
There is a large number of hungry folk out here in Abuja and the only thing that feeds their hunger is power. from this point on 2011 looms large. the word on the street is that the North wants continuity in the zoning formula, meaning; the next president has to be from the North (if only we Nigerians we not this daft)......

the papers are calling one name mainly; Turai! the poor woman's reported scheming was one of the reasons Nigerians were treated to long periods of Hollywood styled suspense and thrillers.... in my opinion, she should better move over there and try her hands out at directing(though I doubt if she'll be a hit like Hitchcock).

Effortless

2010-02-12T14:19:00.000-08:00

When tears become roses,
When a shudder becomes a smile,
When silence is broken with laughter,
Love has become effortless.

when words are not required,
when a slight touch reveals,
when a simple blink caresses,
Love has becomes effortless.

When fingers are instruments,
When thoughts are mirrored,
When pleasure is presence,
Love has becomes effortless.
,
When could be today,
When could be forever,
Whenever I’m with you….
Love will always be effortless.

For Ayinke

2010-02-09T08:43:00.000-08:00

She’s on a journey we all will embark on,
Do not weep for her tonight ,
She has not gone without warning,
She has not left us in the cold ,

Who said she didn’t live a life.
The look alike faces say it all,
Three rows of men and women long,
With memories streaming in their minds,

They whisper their goodbyes,
Glad Ayinke was their ‘Mummie’
With great wealth in kindness and love,
she has left a legacy behind,

now we do not say goodbye,
instead we say well done,
and see you later.
The lord needs you more.

To write or not to write....

2010-02-08T13:27:00.000-08:00

I've been asked too write a tribute to my Grandma(yeah, i lost my Grandma a couple of weeks ago). Its really funny when i think about it, She was one of the dearest things to me when i was still pretty you but all of a sudden things just changed.

Alot of things probably caused it no doubt, especially with the fact that i started getting more interested in other things.

Now i can't help feeling guilty for being so self centered.

There are many things i could use to describe her but there's only one way that best describes her; the way Chairman loved her. I have to confess it really influenced the way I grew to love my own mother, and even further, the way I grew to appreciate women.

He never took anything for granted with respect to her, and was way too loyal to her.

I respected that love.
I loved her as well even if i have to admit that that i hadn't seen her in more than 3 years.
Memories too keep flooding back from time to time. Some beautiful, some sad, some plain outrageous.

I have to confess, I've got a great family, and a crazy extended family. Grandma was definitely the center of that universe. You would always see the love they had for her.
Out rightly she was old school but in weird ways she was liberal. I remember the first time she asked me how many girlfriends I had.... Your guess is as good as mine; even if she was gonna ask about my relationship with the other sex, i never thought it would come at me like that.
Days when I took a trip with her to her farm... me wey think se i be correct aje butter, I found myself in a town in the middle of nowhere, no electricity, no pipe borne water. entertained with the sounds of crickets and night animals.

She called me 'Baba oni cocoa'... saying I was the re-incarnation of her father.... every time i saw her, she'd sing his 'oriki' saying it was mine.

I barely understood most of the Yoruba she would speak to me, but i definitely never tired of her prayers.

Sadly her final years were not exactly her happiest, suffering from Parkinson's. She lived to be a great grand mother no doubt and many grand children were born in her time.

Her final rights will definitely be a celebration of her life... tears will be shed... but as Ijebus, party must happen.

Miss you Grandma. Rest In Peace.

Snitching.

2010-02-01T05:16:00.000-08:00

My friends have lost it. they have become full time harlots and sluts....yes you know who I'm talking about.... yes you know its you I'm talking to. Every day another different girl. God! what happened to you guys. I mean you never used to be like this you know.

Remember when you had just on girl and even if you had to get with another, you'd still say you loved your woman. Now all there is is that cold stare. Waiting like a predator. Striking with a calculated precision that causes me to wonder who I'm staring at. Do i really know you anymore? Mystery... yeah, its you I'm talking to. And to make matters worse, you've now found the best wing man any pick up artist would ever wish for, Phoenix. I mean you guys are "pimping" is what i would have said back in the day. but now i watch in derision as you guys go from one skirt to the other.

Lord help and save women folk from these two weapons of sexual pleasure. Last four times i ran into these guys i had given up hope of keeping up with the different names i had to memorize, so once i was introduced to any new one, I'd just stick to the official tag name; 'Abana'.

In an unconscious way i sorta envy these guys. Not really caring about one chick in particular, only hell bent on bedding them all. or maybe that's my extreme assumption.

or maybe the reason I'm thinking about it right now is cause i so badly hate the way i am right now. Strung up by my feelings and fighting so hard to move on.

I guess the next phase for me now is to be unattached and emotionally unprincipled.

I've never been like that, but i think i could do with a run of form like that.

So it seems i might have to get training classes from the best guys in the game, Mystery and Phoenix.

Guys! if you're reading this, best be ready for me. seems Style is back....I think.

Master, Master???

2010-01-19T08:25:00.000-08:00

why do we become part of a crowd, a movement, cult, follower ship? to belong? is it a necessity? Is it all about conformity and integration? A feeling of semblance of society? There is a major desire amongst all of us. try as we all may to deny, we find ourselves belonging to something. WHY? I stand against this honestly, i believe in individuality. wholeness in one's self.

I sometimes wonder why we human beings tend to be like this, always seeking a leader to follow, always pointing towards a figure head. Why?

Since the time of documented history, mankind has always believed in being led by one man, be it a king, a regent, a war lord or simply just a man.

I recall the part of the good Book where the Israelites went to Samuel and asked him to give them a king. I wonder what was going through their minds at that time.

well they got one alright, one who fell from the lord's favour then went on to lead a campaign against the lord's chosen. He died on the run from his enemies after falling on his own sword. Even David who came after him fell by the way side after taking another man's wife. Yet the people follow these men and almost worship them.

Men always crave a leader, a Shepperd who they can follow. I'm always irritated when a man calls another 'master'. Is it not the same form we have all taken, is it not the same mind we create our ideas from.

I say all these things in hope that i have stirred something up in the minds of those reading this. in order to become a functional part of a society i believe we all need to become masters of ourselves. exceed preset limits.

Will you tell yourself that you do not look up to some one as a master. We all have done so at one point in our lives so it is not a travesty.

through out history, men who have led have also been led.

I just ask you all; do we follow these masters because they are the only ones who give us a semblance of direction or we just want to learn their ways so we can integrate them into our ways?

Do we follow these leaders because we believe their ways are much straight and pure than ours and We believe they can do no wrong?

What is your reason for following a leader?

Mine is to learn and grow, to become my own master.

What is yours???

Is this a rant???

2010-01-11T04:47:00.000-08:00

i've come again oh, like my friends say; "i no dey hear word at all... but WTF! why should i ever deprive myself of all the joys of feeling what could possibly be love. And so? what if I knew from the very beginning that it was bound to end before it ever began. I don't give a SHIT what other people think,I'm glad i experienced it all even if at the end of the day it hurts so bad right now. I accepted this reality long ago and like academics; there's always a practical as there is the theoretical....

I'm really pissed off though, guess its as a result of getting used to always getting my way. now i'm presented with a whole new proposal. You can't have it all, even if you've got so much invested in it.

Hmmmpppphhh!!!

I'm not sure if this is a rant guys, my guts are dying to spill out everything in them but i can't do that. the sure thing for me is that i'm gonna have a Topsy turvy emotional roller coaster for the next couple of months definitely.

One side effect to this whole thing is I've become morally bankrupt (with respect to emotions that is).

When you fall in love and you're so sure that it is love.... the feeling is overwhelming... undeniable and sometimes it would definitely physically affect you. experiencing that feeling along with the harsh realities that barring a a mighty intervention from God almighty, we were not meant to be together. I guess that's what's still keeping me sane as of now. Knowing that this was going to happen finally.

I know i have not lost someone, instead someone has lost me so i don't intend to go about sulking and cursing the world that i have been dealt an unfair blow...oh gosh It hurts.....

then there's the other ladies, i don't know why it's happening at such a time but i think its for the greater good. ladies please take it easy...lmao... yeah right, i just think what's happening to me is a good thing though.

Love, pain, Fun.... its all good guys....I'll be fine.

Tinkerbell ,makes me sad also. I told you guys there might and there might not be a story, well there's a story alright, but I don't think its mine to share right now.

Mr. President and Mr. Terrorist....

2010-01-10T07:04:00.000-08:00

A nation without a Leader, a nation that has been blacklisted because of the act of one single Nigerian. Nigeria!!! a failed state is what i'm close to calling us.

I think i've become really soft these days. Not really putting my foot down or being more outspoken. I guess that's because i'm trying to stay away from the frustrating world of ineffective government we Nigerians have found ourselves and have become comfortable in.

A country where Umar Yar' a dua has gone missing for more almost two months. It wouldn't be a big deal if he were not our very own President.

I've heard a lot about African Presidents being irresponsible, ineffective and Thieves but Yar' a dua's tenure has seen leadership of Nigeria sink to a whole new all time low. Forget about the whole amnesty thing, his first tenure has been an utter disaster. Whether he comes back in one piece or in a coffin he's practised the highest form of irresponsibility by any leader in Nigeria's history.

In my paranoid mind i'm sitting at my desk thinking about what could be much more worse than the state we currently are now. Yet there are still lower states to sink to trust me.

The Federal cabinet has become like a class without a teacher or a Class captain; all i hear is ; "vice- president orders ministers not to travel", then after that; "Ministers still embark on vacation trips despite orders from VP not to do otherwise"

It tells you the kind of Powers the VP holds. I mean the country finds it hard to look at the man as a leader since the elected one is MIA. If the dude even decides to do something now, it'll definitely be hard for him to be accepted because of how long he's taken to deliberate on taking necessary steps.

Then there's the Mutallab debacle, a young man from a rich family who decides that the next big step for him to take in his life will be his last and decides to blow up an American airline filled up with passengers. SHIT!!!

I could barely get any sleep the night i heard the news cause something kept telling me it wasn't going to be good. Then the news hit me. THE DUDE WAS NIGERIAN. how annoying could the holidays become; no petrol, mad working hours during the holidays, an MIA president, then this kid pulls this off. we've only just begun to see the repercussions.

Its difficult for me to smile when I think about these two situations, the kid would definitely be spending the rest of his life in some federal maximum security prison while the rest of his family become stigmatized and sometimes scorned.

In the case of Our missing president, its still a mystery,his aids or family are not forthcoming with details on his condition, which has left room for the tireless rumor peddling to continue.

Nigeria has seen her stock fall in the international scene for the past two and a half years but the Mutallab incident surely dealt us one of the heaviest body blows ever.

Being Blacklisted by a country like America would mean other Western states would follow suit shortly. And Yar' a dua is no where to be found to give instructions on how to save this situation....hmmmmmm.....

While what is left of this government is busy trying to hide the where abouts of their Oga what are we the masses doing about this situation? I don't want to believe Nigerians has become so accustomed to the ineptitude of their leaders that we wouldn't bother to raise their voices against this nonsense.... I don't think now is a time for us to let Interest groups with either axes to grind or lopsided interests to hijack this opportunity to speak against things like this.

Naija stand up oh.... i no go talk am pass this one... I heard there's going to be a march from the unity fountain to The National Assembly.... what will you be doing on that day? i sure wanna be there.

New Year Jingles......

2010-01-04T05:34:00.000-08:00

2010 doesn't feel different.everything doesn't feel 2010 at all, its more like i just woke up and knowing that it's Friday. Yet all the ordinance and explosive like fire works reminded me there was something to celebrate....but what exactly? I worked late on new years eve and made it to church just 15 minutes to midnight. Good thing was i crossed over with my brother and best friend, we said prayers of thanks giving together and boy were there alot of thing to be thankful about.

WOW! a decade has gone by folks since we said good bye to the Ninties and here we are in a new one looking forward to what the future holds for each one of us.

Most important on my mind as i thought about 2010 was where i wanted to find myself by the time we would b ushering in 2011... what exactly did i want and where exactly did i want to be?

My own House, a woman i was i could call my partner and friend. As i thought about these things i began to feel the need for them, I mean i was beginning to feel like an alien in Chairman's house already... gradually becoming a passing shadow in a place i used to call home.

how drastically things changed, but a sure fact for a long time was that they definitely were going to.

Its not clear cut, precise, defined or organized, all i know is that i have to be where i want to be and have what i really need in 2010...

Then there's the part where the unexpected could happen. As part of celebrating the entrance into the new year, i was hanging out at Dub-C with the boys when out of no where i see Tinker bell sitting directly opposite me.
The first question that came to mind was; Where on earth had she been hiding, knowing how frequently i had double checked every petite, light skinned lady who came my way. I had expected her to have kids by now knowing that the main reasons why she disappeared was that she was to be married off. Now there she was sitting there opposite me...in a place i barely expected to run into her...

As expected we saw each other, I'm not going to start talking about this story until i know for sure its a story... then I'll give you guys the dish... till then, PEACE...

Morning!

2009-12-14T00:03:00.001-08:00

i always like to say good morning.... like i really mean it. I like to say "good morning" like i really mean it. It makes me connect with every one i say it to. So at the end of the day, i feel like I've made a connection with the world.... Its sounds like Hippie stuff don't it? lolol... i ain't a hippie though...

Work is something else.In my four months of work, i have not had a day i could describe as rudimentary or typical. Its been a whole different ball game every day.

The Christmas season; busy,no break and a whole lot of "Good mornings".....

Then i think about reflecting on 2009. A year that has typically been eventful, unforgettable (it definitely has been if you're me). I started writing this post two weeks ago but I've only had time to sit at my system just today. in 2009 I've changed from an almost 24 hour/ all weekend party animal to a 'i barely have a social life' kinda guy. and the creepy thing about it is, these two opposites basically have had six month life spans.

WHAT HAPPENED???

now 2010 beckons so glaringly and I'm forced to take sometime to think about what i really want to achieve in this new year; in the short term, i want two learn two new things: French and Swimming. yes, as embarrassing as it is, i still don't know how to swim all that well.

then french, i just love the language even though i have no idea of what they talk about more than half the time.

On the long term I'm thinking alot about being more and more on my own. I'm becoming more and more distant from my family and its beginning to tell on me. Not like i like it, but i have that feeling that in order for me to really appreciate them, i need to learn to survive by myself.

some of you guys already have a clear cut and defined plan for 2010 while some of you are like me, just making a few plans while you improvise as things come by.

I was supposed to turn in a letter to Santa but that never happened because of work.... so you could all say i had a bah- humbug kinda Christmas.

Happy new year folks! see you in 2010....

Grinding Steel

2009-12-10T13:49:00.000-08:00

I have abandoned you my dear Blog, to a life of Beeish Buzz (Doubt if that's right).

I have been enslaved by work, and other dramas. Leaving you my dear loyal blog to wallow in loneliness.

Will you forgive me. Will you take this heart felt words and trust me that soon i shall return. I have forced excuses at your page hoping you accept them for i have no other thing to say to you, explaining how i could be this irresponsible. What have i done?

Who will plead on my behalf oh Blog? Who will tell you how much i have missed you, that the things i left you for are nothing compared to the vast whiteness of you Word Sheet that allow me to express myself without censorship?

I truly am sorry.

I have been stung by Cupids arrow, Possessed by Thor's Hammer and have sought out a life in a world that even though real doesn't deserve to be permanently lived in everyday of one's life. When i have the shelter of you page to express and deliberate.

What sort of apple have i tasted that would make me see this world in a new light and abandon you oh blog.

I am on my palms, typing tirelessly at they keyboard, begging that you receive this offering of my words to pacify you. I honestly have nothing else for if you could receive flowers i would send you a 100 dozens roses.

My betrayal tastes like that of Judas 30 pieces of silver.

What have i done you might wonder oh blog?

I have loved, I have worked, but nothing compares to the satisfaction you have poured out upon me. My heart has become something geologically undefined... formed and crushed continually in chronological estimates that i feel as if its continuous deformation and reconstruction has created steel and hence if this breaking continues, shall fate grind steel?

shall fate take up this steel heart which still miraculously beats and continue to grind and tear and dismember?

Who shall love a heart as deformed as this oh blog... I look at your whitish splendor and i pour out every thing within this steel container. Its insides are still soft though, beating away and pounding.

Work has stolen my soul. work has taken me away from my family and friends. caged me in a world that i still don't recognize....

I know you'll always have me back oh blog, from the first moment i laid eyes on you i knew you were going to be with me till the end.

bear with me Blog... I shall return, not as frequent as you might hope, but i shall always think of you. returning to you, for only you give me this succor.

Attachments

2009-11-11T11:57:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make, the reason i'm writing this post is because i'm trying to stop myself from going into one of my 'i'm pouring out my emotions' blog posts.

I've been going through one of the most painful emotional roller coasters ever and i don't know when it's gonna end. All have been using to block it out is work. But right now, i'm too less busy, and the thoughts are struggling to take up a front seat in my mind's theater....in fact they're gunning for the stage.

I'm helpless, wondering why I can't be cold and calculating, a mean lying philanderer... why!

Instead its me, emotionally vunerable dopey eyed mugun.... how could i have been so stupid?

There i go, i'm saying i don't want to write about something but i've used more than a paragraph already.... I pity myslef.

I have several items that have been in my possesion for quite sometime, these items have come to mean so much to me and despite the teling of time upon them i find it so hard to replace them. Just two items oh... not like they're plenty.

A wallet and a Bible.

THE BIBLE; It was my first visit to Abuja, Chairman was going on one of his usual long business trips and we kids were on our long break. It seemed as if he didn't want to leave us alone this time since it was becoming custom for us to only see him during his short trips to Lagos when he would spend a week or two. These periods would mainy comprise of house inspections and individual assesments by him.

We never really looked forward to these visits but there was nothing we could do.
Despite all this, he never failed to tell us a thing about Abuja, how impressive the town was and how frequently he met with a few highly placed government officials.

So even if it meant spending the entire long break with Chairman, we were presented with a golden oportunity, 'going to ABuja'. This was in the month of September 1997. I was still an impressionable teenager then. quiet and an introvert at most times.Any time i spoke to chairman it was in mumbling whispers..he barely heard what i said.

On the day of the trip we got to the airport with our luggage and checked in (i no go lie na the first time wey i enter plane be that). I was oozing with excitment and it even doubled when I found Chairman ushering us into the VIP departure lounge. He encouraged us to look around while he chatted to some guy who looked pretty important. I walked over to the book store and immediatley started searching for my favorite print; Comics. I was dissapointed to barely find one, soon enough while i kept on searching the shelves with my eyes, my siblings joined me then soon after, Chairman. He pulled out his wallet and entered the Book store pointing out two Bibles (NIV). I still can't remember what he bought for Lil mama.

He took us over to a long sofa in the same VIP lounge and sat us down.One by one he took each Bible and scribbled our names on the first pages, along with dates. I just sat there and stared at him.

That was 12 years ago, i still have that same Bible till this day. read it almost every morning and travel every where with it. Its one of the first things to go into my traveling bag anytime I leave town.

It has become worn out and developed dog ears but anytime i think of changing it i give it an extra look, then open the front page. Before I know it, all sentiment come flooding back in and I hae a new determination to hold on to it much longer.

I don't know, maybe i'll hold on to it and make it become a family heirloom, passed down from father to son....lol...

THE WALLET:

I had just finished secondary school and while we passed the time following Mum to her office on the island, we never really earned any money. All we looked forward to was lunch time; it was our wave of the moment delicacy at that time "Ewa Agoin"....
Myself and Mr. Capable had become so addicted to the delicacy that Mum had to have the lady she bought it from make a big bowl of the special stew, which she store in the deep freezer at home. When that happened, we had no reason to folow her to her office anymore.

But on one particular day she still hauled us off to work. I soon became bored so I began to develop a kneen curiosity towards buses and their routes. I knew Mum wouldn't allow me just run off on my own so i started grumbling just after lunch that i wanted to go home. within an hour , when she had had enough of my contorted and unevenly frowned face she finally gave in. Immediately i suggested to her that we took the bus. Mr. Capable gave me a terrified look (Buttie) but i ignored him. She looked at me with a little suspicion then took out some money from her hand bag. Immediatley Mr. Capable brought out his wallet, brandishing it for all to see that he had one. I Immediatley recognized it as one of the many wallets that Chairman had used for a short Period of time before discarding it for its inadequacy.

My excitment soon died and was replaced by a mixture of envy and sadness. Mum asked me why i looked soo down, i then went ahead to tell her that Unlike my brother, i had no wallet (no be se i get money that time oh). she then urged us to head home.

Later that evening, while we were all home, Mum called me to her room and reached into her bag. She brought out a leather black wallet,it was still in a nylon wrap. Immediatley i saw it, i had a big smile on my face. "hmmmmm....now we both have wallets"... i thought to myself.

She handed it to me 10 years ago and till this day i never leave the house with out it. Its become torn and battered but i find it hard to let go. The treads are hanging out but all I have to do is take a second look at it and i'm holding tighter to it.

will I ever let them go?
I no know oh... They've become a part of me, sorta....

FACEBOOK OR face value?

2009-11-05T13:19:00.000-08:00

Just a while ago i went back to when all my online writing started; my facebook notes and i realized how out detached i had become from it, scrolling through my friend's notes all i could see was copy and paste pieces and articles, jokes and post cards. I felt a bit guilty, wondering and blaming myself in a way that it was all my fault; maybe if i hadn't found blogspot i would still be putting up notes that i had tagged my friends in or something.

Meanwhile i just feel facebook isn't just it anymore, first people stay on facebook for so long that you begin to wonder if they really do have real lives, or they're just actually fictional characters, but you remember that they've got probably like 400 friends or more.

I must confess i was two steps away from that point, when most of what i did was facebook, then more facebook.....and facebook.

If we all are too far hooked on facebook to make any sense of what I'm saying then t would most likely seem like I'm just ranting. Am I?

You decide, you make up your mind how far the down the rabbit hole we've all gone.

I talked about everything that happened to me on facebook, maybe it was to get attention or it was just plain expression i don't know right now. But i feel I'm past that now..... i think.

Is facebook bad or has it just become accepted, why do peeps find it skin crawling to add their parents on facebook; well the answer to that question is a no brainer but i wonder why it all of a sudden seems like we're either living double lives or we're trying to live our lives for facebook.

May be we all should agree to define what facebook is all about, cause i don't trust those Harvard peeps at all. they just might have other plans that we all aren't aware of.

Maybe its just me being paranoid or something but i really don't like facebook all that much anymore.

What do you guys think? Does the 'it helps in networking' still hold that much water?

Hhhhmmmm.....Growing up......

2009-10-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

what exactly is growing up, obviously its not simply an age thing, neither can it be whittled down to knowledge acquisition.

"oohhh grow up" i often hear people say.... or "i think you really need to grow up"...... which one now??? na by force.... if you wanna grow up, grow up but i don't know about me. I'd rather just stay Peter Panish for as long as i ain't paying rent....

I have friends who seem to think they're all grown and i have friends who obviously don't wanna grow up at all.

Its a wonderful mixture to delve into but it sometimes comes at a price. Loyalties are sometimes questioned while principles could be thrown out the window.

I'm a young adult as society has come to describe me, but at the same time I'm not too far away from those years when i used to careless about tomorrow. Honestly, I'm not making any excuses, those years don't seem far away at all.

But to tell you the self assumed truth; i think I've don little growing up over the past couple of months. I don't think I'll be getting more than a hand full of supporters to this assumption but please indulge me.

....................................To be continued............................................

Purpose.....

2009-10-10T05:19:00.000-07:00

There are times when i wonder what its all about and there times when i know what its all about.

I strive to define my purpose in life, whether it be in a relationship or at work, i know one paramount thing, i desire purpose. With out it, the red in my eyes turn blood crimson and i become that which i detest the most, a loosing monster.

But fate has played an important role in my purpose i must admit, lifting the mists of uncertainty and revealing to me an horizon filled with (yeah it sounds cliche); clear possibilities.

While trying to live, i have come across several possibilities of purpose, prying and probing, searching for the one which ultimately embodies my inner desires and drives me to succeed.

Have I found it? Honestly i can't exactly say i know, i just know that i have purpose where I am right now. Day to day i strive to put in my best to achieve my purpose.

Yet i have to ask myself what is my ultimate purpose, do i have to know that right now? must i have a clear picture of what i am to do before my life reaches its end?
If you will indulge me, can i ask you; what is your purpose?

And how have you defined it?

I just turned 25 a few weeks ago, a month after i got my first full time job, and truth is i had one hell of a time, even though it bore a hole in my pocket i have to admit that it was worth it.
In this quarter century of my life i say to my self that I'm just discovering what i really want in various aspects of my life; relationships, work, fun and family.

I do my best to take a few minutes of the day to reflect and be introspective of my actions, wondering if I still am on the right path.

"Where will i be 25 years from now?" i sometimes ask myself....

What is This Feeling???

2009-10-03T12:48:00.000-07:00

"I'm angry and sad, blown away and lonely. i hate the fact that I feel this vulnerable and its becoming ever more clear that I'm standing in an open range. Some crazed sniper has me in her scope."

These were the words Possi spoke to me this night as he dragged hard on his B & H... looking dejected. There was that funny look in his eyes that had me wishing he didn't own a fire arm or have any thing that could cause harm. HE WAS ANGRY.

I don't know where his story started to unravel but i caught him in the middle of it when the sign were there for all those who knew that what he was getting into was a bad idea. it had me recalling those moments of denial with 'Tinkerbell', back in 2006. when i knew too well that we were from different worlds and i could do nothing to stop her from getting married. the relationship was never meant to see the light of day in the first place yet we groomed it in the shade, hoping childishly that it would grow without sunlight.

how wrong we were back then. Me a younglin from the South- west with varying religious beliefs to her North- eastern origins. She was soon uprooted from her intermediate place of comfort and married off. I never gave up for over 6 months, the possibility of seeing her again.

Now Possi's going through sorta like the same thing.... he's a broken man now, thinking the fates hate his guts for nothing.

even if she's older than he is who cares. or she's been in a relationship with another guy for the past 2 years, who cares. all he knows is that he found someone he thought he could call his, who took his breath away any time he saw her.

She felt the same way towards him, but they both knew it was not meant to be. Even if they both had people they held dear to them, being together felt so irresistible. He barely knew how to take his eyes off her and she could feel his presence from a mile away.

With all this the basics never agreed with their liaison. She was ready to settle but he obviously wasn't.

How could there be a remedy to this?

With him she felt like a free spirit, unhindered in expression. He gave her a new palette.
He saw too much of what he desired in a woman, a woman he wanted to learn from, grow with..... but his mind would not wander further than that (There were many possibilities but this one was beautiful).

Now the bitter realities came calling, and as he stands in this arena of pain, the spectators are bitterness and emptiness. They stand amongst the crowd laughing and jeering.....

I don't know if Possi will survive this, i just hope he does.

I sit across the table from him, looking at him with empathy...

I ask the question within me like i were in his shoes..."when I'm with her, i know its wrong, yet why does it feel so right?....."

What is this feeling???

The story I love...

2009-09-24T12:59:00.000-07:00

She holds my head close to her chest and starts to tell me that story i love so much (then i guess i hadn't acquired that 6 feet height of mine)......

...... I left the house that morning, leaving your brother in the care of your aunt... i was sure my water had broken, i packed all the baby things i was going to need at the hospital. I don't know why i never said a word to your father or any one else. In fact i met my sister in law on my way to get a cab, she was taking the kids to school so she offered to give me a ride thinking i was going for my usual check up..... immediately i got to the hospital and the doctor took a look at me he had the nurses prep me up for delivery.

I had no idea if the child was going to be a boy or a girl, all i could read from the doctors gaze was that i really didn't have nothing to worry about. The time was about half past 10:00 in the morning....... i went into labour fully about 11:00 Am and it was not easy, i felt the pressure and pain, i willed the baby to come out but it seemed not ready, i was a bit worried....

Did it have to take so long?

At about a few minutes after 12:00 the baby finally came out... giving a healthy cry i waited for them to put him in my arms (I had another boy).

My baby, my son.... you've come into this world at the right time.... i looked at him and he was so lovely, a bit stubborn but so lively.

Sensitive???

2009-09-13T06:53:00.000-07:00

These days i have the impression that I'm aloof. I refuse to publicly express myself with out an extremely good reason to. A smile here, a grin there, and a sneer for any one who thinks they can take advantage of my soft demeanour.

At times it can be a terrible place, this world.

I have a habit (don't know if its a bad one or a good one). I tend to reflect on past relationships and figure out what could possibly have gone wrong instead of leaving things as they were. One of the most consistent problems they always have with me is my "sensitivity".

At this point I've had it. I'm out of ideas and I'm not talking about how to move on to the next relationship, I'm talking about having to explain that the person you met is who you're gonna be stuck with for as long as the relationship lasts. I know women are sensitive and full of compassion, well as odd as it might sound i have my own measure of that and its what makes me "ME".

Believe it when i say this; I'm a full blooded straight guy with massive doses of testosterone, calculative and a lot of times obsessively objective. but I'm also honest, blunt with words and effectively emphatic.

These latter qualities make me no less a man, rather they make me a special kind of man. And that's the one I always want to exude.

So when I meet a lady who wants a typical guy (the stereotypical male) and she observes all these qualities, if she walks away thinking; the guy is so sensitive, i guess its more of her loss than mine.

With respect to the girls/ ladies; i just want to find the woman who's meant for me. I'm not about notching up numbers and bedding chicks.

I'm more of the guy who's desire is to find a soul mate.

I''m sure i sound like I'm flinging the "holier than Dow" phrases in a couple of faces but I'm also prone to moments of weakness. Its not something I proudly admit. I'm also a guy working towards becoming a better man to my woman.

I don't know if smiley thinks I'm sensitive, but that's for her to decide.

what do the rest of you think? Am I sensitive???

Kagashi Bunshin!!!

2009-09-08T07:21:00.000-07:00

you might be wondering what has gotten in to me concerning the title of my latest post... well that's what i wish i could do right no so i could experience all that i wanted to at the same time. Since i started work more than 3 weeks ago I've had to spend the most of my life working Long hours. i just finished a two week working marathon and its not looking like I'm nearing an end. Unfortunately my body has finally given in and craves rest. hopefully administration should work out a roaster that'll ensure i get time off.

I mean considering the character Naruto could develop several clones of himself using a particular justu that and still experience the various emotions and memories they all felt, it sure seems like a good idea considering my situation. i mean, I'm way behind on hanging out with my boys, spending quality time with smiley and playing with my dolls. i mean, one of them kept asking me through out the weekend why i had to go to work every single day.

what i would give to posses the jutsu of kagashi bunsghin.....
well in the words of my boss when he addressed us for the first time; "your lives are going to solely revolve around this company".

Right now I'm down with my first fever in almost 4 yeas and quite honestly it feels odd and annoying.
From my business manager to my colleagues, I've been advised and ordered to go home and get some rest. my head of HR even threatened to issue me a query for not taking a break.
its not like I'm feeling like one hardworking, dedicated worker, i just feel, its too early to cave into all the pressure and stress.

I think the main down side to this whole job thing is the strain its causing between me and smiley... she hardly sees me these days and i can tell how badly she misses holding me. its hard on her considering the sharp change we experienced from spending virtually every day together to barely seeing each other all week. i know i definitely have to make it up to her.....soon.

The more reason why I need Kagashi Bunshin!
or maybe the Super Eagles need it more than me, considering they had a difficult time celebrating one goal leads in one match, if they had that jutsu they probably would have been able to defend their lead as well as celebrate the goal they had scored considering how much into the celebration they were into.

As for me, i had the strong feeling that it was going to turn out sour so i switched to my Nigerien personalty mode; claiming i was more interested in camel racing than football.

So all you Nigerian should stop beating yourselves over qualification for the world cup, there's a camel racing world cup that happens in Niger every 6 months and the only thing you need to qualify is a healthy camel and its flies.

see you guys later...

2009-08-24T14:00:00.001-07:00

I doubt if i was missed by any of you guys... i mean its been a month and except from 'HUMAN MACHINERY' no one even bothered to ask me why I hadn't posted anything on my blog in a while.

Poor me to have believed i had cultivated a small fellowship. Well i can proudly tell you guys that things have seriously changed.
Oh!!! So you guys don't believe me abi? I mean What did you guys think Griffin was doing for the past month.

Instead of sitting at home dragging myself around the house or partying all weekend long while the rest of the family was away for the summer. I instead, honestly did , go out searching for a job.

Well what do you think the results were???

I did get a job, but no ordinary job peeps... I got a job at a place I've always had the utmost respect for. Not only did I get a job thee, I also got thrown in at the deep end where I'm faced with challenges and deadlines on a daily basis.

Now I'm gradually learning how far i can push myself.
You guys should be really happy for me oh! As in the other option would have been being stuck with chairman and living an almost miserable unfulfilled life while being at the mercies of a low paying boss who's only excuse for my financial dissatisfaction would be the provision of accommodation.
What really comes with all the Good news is that my social life is practically dead. I work six days a week and have late hours every working day and the truth is, I'm loving it.

Then there's the Girl. she's stolen my heart and i feel love stoned.

Remember that Justin Timberlake song? "Love Stoned/ I think that she knows...
well that's what i think about when I think about what she does to me. I think that she knows, i think that she knows...... she's got me love stoned........

There are times when i think I'm not really cut out for the whole relationship thing, and times when I get into a fight with her, those feelings come flooding in, but just when I'm about to pull the plug something happens and i see her under the brightest lights and realize how impossible it is for me to stay away from her.

She's my one and only, and I call her 'Smiley'

I'm hoping i get back to my consistent level of putting up posts so you guys can finally get a full idea about what I've been up to and thinking...

You guys shouldn't loose faith in me just yet.
PEACE.

CALLING ALL EGGS: THE EAGLE HAS LEFT THE NEST

2009-07-20T05:49:00.000-07:00

the eagle has left the nest so all the eggs have number 26 to themselves for the next 3 weeks....
lolol... i don't know what to say at this point. Chairman, maama & my dolls are off for the summer break and are taking a round trip from Morocco to England and then on to France and then back home. it sure sounds like fun, but i doubt if i would have had any with Chairman tagging along. Finally he has a reason to cross the Atlantic and leave us at home.

i've been very scarce in cyberspace these days so i mainly get most of my info through my boys ; SBB, Mr. capable and Mystery. infact i must confess there's being a lul in my weekend night life these days, i haven't see the inside of a club since last thursday and this weekend that was supposed to mark the beginning of three weeks of freedom was simply subdued...

i haven't even been to dub-c in since last thursday sef.

nowadays its from one book to the other. its even so bad that i don't even finish one before i pick up another.

thinking of starting French classes soon though, apart from that, i'm just floating.

been monitoring the transfer activities as well as the amnesty activities, and they all see so ridiculous in their own ways. God help manchester United and God save us from Yar' a dua.

Nigeria is being held hostage by militants who have gone as far as bombing lagos (my own lasgidi) and Yar' a dua is offering them amnesty, that never worked previously? offering the militants amnesty has never worked, especially when they attempt the ridiculous option of guns for money...

then the president states that amnesty is key to stable power generation. why can't we just give them resource control while focusing on diversification and let's watch them kill themslevs with their militancy. i realy am angry right now, cuase the more i think about it the more ridiculous we all begin to seem. depending soley on the resources of only one region?

meanwhile, the sheiks of Abu dabi have so much money, they've gone on a spending spree in the blue half of manchester. the only problem is, they've gone ahead with the spending, now SpARKY CAN FEILD ELEVEN PLAYERS AND 9 OF THEM WOULD BE STRIKERS (WORLD CALSS). all this is happening but Sir Alex only saw it fit to aquire one washed out legend and two promising wingers. still we have about 80 million pounds untouched. God dey sha.....

i'll holla at you guys later.

Pure Limbo

2009-07-13T03:21:00.000-07:00

its been almost a week since the end of my NYSC program and i'm still sitting at home, wondering and waiting. I've turned into a "readaholic' (my own invention); i practically read anything in sight, from toothpaste tubes to oil reports.

I think i'm going crazy.

the possibility of getting a job these days are so slim! was joking with a friend the other day and i told him the best prayer any unemployed graduate should have on his lips right now is ' lord let them all travel abroad for masters or something'. i'm not sure how long i can last sitting at home all day long. the thought of running out of money and seeing myself become dependent on a certain someone eats at my ego.

but despite all that i'm helplessly holding my head up high with a careless smile on my face.

all that aside, i'm just feeling mighty positive... with my bushy goatie and growing hair, i'm just not giving a *&^k.

The end of My service...

2009-07-03T06:04:00.000-07:00

today is the my last day at BPE officially, sadly i missed my own send forth programme... but its no bad feelings right now... I'm much more uncertain than sad. no more assured allowee or monthly allowances from the office, now its down to the main hustle.
been playing with various ideas for the past week, and the only certain thing i know i need to do other than get a job is to upgrade. as in majorly. the miserable degree i got from school can't take me far, besides, I'm not sure i wanna practice what i read professionally, ideally.

so for a while i have to really leave you guys..... I'm still not done with the pondering and soul searching, but i definitely wish i won't be gone for too long.

i can't say i learnt much during this youth service year, though i've grown obviously, but i really hoped i would be much more exposed in the establishment i worked in, rather it made me see clearly the lack of respect given to graduates of this country. i'm not angry, but bitter.

it makes me want to ask the leaders of this country why they have refused to invest much more in the educational system.

now to make things worse, universities are on strike.

it really is sad.
Now i'm about to join the long list of jobless graduates strolling the streets.

make i send una my CV?

MJ's gone and so is STep's Dad.....

2009-06-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

"Micheal Jackson is dead!"
i couldn't believe what i was seeing on the TV monitor that night at Play. wacko jacko as the media named him had died of a cardiac arrest after being rushed to the hospital in los angles when he was found not breathing. Many have written comments about the whole misfortune ; a lot of tributes and a few bad comments but no one can ever take away what this man brought to the world in form of his songs and entertainment quality.

his charitable works were numerous; from songs such as heal the world to earth song, MJ always made sure he stayed in reckoning with what ever could continue to give him relevance. over a period spanning almost 4 decades he was always there in the spotlight.

the moonwalk, the thriller video and Bad, all that made MJ one of the easiest reference points of several generations.

it is there fore right to say that this talented figure will surely be missed and could as well be classified as a true legend when you add all the above listed with the fact that he was the unrivaled 'king of Pop.'

before you all start to think that I'm one MJ fanatic who blindly followed him through all the negatives, well i want to make it clear at this point that i am not too fund of him as a person.

i just cannot accept the various things he did to himself as well as reportedly others even if he had a weird childhood. All the child molestation accusations and skin color change as well as the nose job really put me off and i will not deny i took opportunities to throw snide remarks as well as make bad jokes about his life choices.

but the truth is Mj did far more good than he did evil, even if he rubbed some people off the wrong way, his works definatley shook all of us the right way. fusing R & B with rock and so on, creating break through videos and most significantly breaking the monopoly of Rock videos on MTV.

right here in Naija his works were an inspiration to early time artists and it also encouraged others to go in new directions for want of pushing the envelope.

like i told another facebooker after hearing the news; 'its because of MJ you can shake your head to a song like gongwo aso'.

meanwhile this post was supposed to be about someone else's death rather than MJ's . A dear friend of mine lost her Dad a few weeks ago and I've been tortured by guilt because I had promised myself that i would be there for her in her time of need, even if i had hoped that it wouldn't come soon. Step was my old flame when i lost my mum a few years back and she stood by me while i went through a whole lot of motions at the time. I saw myself drowning in anger and alcohol but no one could really help me deal with the loss. But she stood by me as long as she could. It really helped me pull through at the time. She now works in Lagos while 'm here in Abuja. i spoke to her several times and she seems to be doing well, but it just doesn't feel enough.

The guilt is killing me oh!

meanwhile, all this talk about the article by Reuben Abati is really generating a lot of comments back and forth, basically it seems that there are three camps; the quiet and not angry ones, the upset and vocal ones and the angry and down right insultive ones. i think i belong to the second camp because i feel dissapointed in the article, but as 'Speech Girl' said, every one has opinions so he was just expressing his. its just too bad that someone like him will see alot of things wrong rather than right with what our generation has to offer. Maybe i'll just buy him a Wande Coal and SHank CD then hope and pray he has a change of heart when he realizes the way he moves to their music.
sorry for taking too long in updating peeps...... i'm gonna be leaving my present place of work cause i'm through with service, so it might take a while before my next post. trust me though, i won't be gone for too long.

Enter Freeze, a wedding full of beauties

2009-06-23T01:46:00.000-07:00

I feel dizzy and unwell. No, this time it’s not from too much partying or overdrinking or a hang over. At all, like I said in my previous post, I’m seriously cutting down on all that, besides, I’m about to end NYSC so its going be down to serious life issues any moment from now.

I’ve got a seriously annoying cough and I’m filled with enough cough mixtures I’m beginning to suspect I’m high. I had two table spoons of Actifed down my throat before 8:00 Am yesterday and soon enough I was so sleepy, I found it difficult crossing the road. I just ran into Yeti’s Office and practically slept through the most productive part of the day.

And about the previous post; I know a lot of you guys who read it were wondering what my talk was all about, don’t worry.

I’ve been focused on trying to complete Wole Soyinka’s :’The Man Died’ so I totally got immersed in it and by the time I was typing the said post I found myself a bit too connected to his writings hence the post as a result of that said Connection.

I have to confess that the early part of my weekend was rather forgettable save for the appearance of a friend I thought long lost. I met Freeze about two years ago or so, when I used to hang out mainly at Mystery’s crib. We’d all go down the local corner stall and have a smoke and stuff but all of a sudden he just disappeared completely and no one heard from him. Then all of a sudden he calls me up and tells me to meet up with him at a local beer parlor we used to go to (apparently he just got in from jand). I and the rest of the guys had stopped hanging out at the place for our own personal reasons but I had no choice but to oblige him.
I didn’t let him go that easily though, I first of all berated him for skipping town on us without leaving at least a contact e-mail address. After apologizing several times I agreed to meet up with him. Save for that part, my weekend was just below par, and then Saturday came. It was supposed to be a simple wedding, normal gathering of the couple’s loved ones and friends to celebrate their union. But no, it wasn’t that simple. I first got wind of the wedding earlier in the week, so I had all my friend’s have the date in mind. I mean if a former QC chick was getting hooked up in Abuja and she was just over 22 years of age, it meant most of her single friends and former class mates would definitely be there. Lo and behold, when Saturday came I wasn’t disappointed with what I saw.
‘As in ehn’ (Jennifa Biggs girlz English ohh people), the amount of beautiful women that were on display was almost paralyzing. Almost the entire crew was there save for SBB who had to work unfortunately. I was dumbfounded, yet excited, left right and center they walked and sashayed all around me, leaving me with much hope and aspiration. Me that had previously sworn not to go to weddings anymore was now having a good time at one.
I wasn’t looking bad myself though; my tall frame was well placed in my black suit looking all laid back with out a tie. So I’m proud to say I caught more than a few eyes staring back at me.

The music was mainly about the present day Naija artist’s expressions of love and all; from Bracket to Darey.

The wedding really was a lot of fun. Friends of the bride were dressed in black with touches of either green or blue and I have to admit that I stared at more than one with longing expectations of a ‘hi’ or ‘wassup’.

Another reason why I wanted to attend the wedding was because of ‘Neo’. The girl I had initially hoped to be the one (as her name aptly indicates).

We hadn’t seen each other for months and had barely spoken on the phone in an equal number of time. So when I walked up to her table with a smile pasted across my face, I was glad she seemed equally happy to see me. I hoped she could read from my eyes what I was trying to convey; which was I’m glad to see you’re doing fine’. We barely talked after that. She left sooner than I had hoped but then again, I’ll defiantly run into her again.

So at the end of the weekend, I started to think. If I was given the option of either going clubbing night during the weekend or attending weddings that had this much beautiful women every fortnight, the answer would be a no brainer. SO Abuja, I think you guys have to get ready for your own version of ‘wedding crashers’.

Peaches and Steam

2009-06-17T02:12:00.000-07:00

I’ve always wondered why I repeat this cycle every week. Thursdays, through to Sunday. Then I wake up Monday morning with a Hiss and a moan, wondering why the weekend has come and gone so fast. At a point I thought it was for lack of a partner to spend time with, to occupy me with her warmth and intellect.

So I searched out for a partner, helplessly I’m fed up at this point. For it seems I have been a victim of my own undoing, either looking in the wrong places or seeking the wrong virtues. I’m spent and I can’t care less. I can have any woman I want but the question is ‘Is that really important right now?’

Me, a lover of fun and good things of life, not overly committed to many things but verse in arts and discourse. Will I define myself by who I’m with, at such a time as this?
I shake my head in disappointment. I am still susceptible to those lonely feelings though, craving warmth and companionship. For it is natural to. Yet it is something that vexes me because I have in moments of weakness such as the one I rise from right now let it be a means of defining me.

Now Thursdays are no more while my body says Friday is under consideration, yet it is glad that I agree with it for Saturday. So we a becoming one again. No more Play every Thursday, Dub-c is in probation and The Dome can be glad I’ll still be there.

Last week saw me at these three places, not to have fun naturally but more as a spectator, the party animals I had with me barely noticed my state of introspection. My body was tired and my mind had been starved. In dissatisfaction it berated me, turning out open and empty palms that craved information, instead they were held before my thinking eyes shaking and barely still. I felt a ting of guilt, yet those hands where held before my thinking eye a little longer and I gave in, I knew I had been my own worst enemy and I was full of remorse.

Then I remembered a poem I wrote when long ago I once thought I could go no further.
Looking at it now I just laugh;

Past me it seems,
When I would throw caution to the wind,
Dispense with decency,
Now I watch with almost aged eyes,
Careful of what I divulge,
My tongue has aged,
I wish not to admit that my body
Too has.
I abuse this temple,
And time no longer hides its
Damages,
My miles now seem short
As nicotine and alcohol have been my
Play mates,
I seem weary in the face of physical exertion,
Now I walk like a time bomb,
Uncertain when I will explode,
Or rather implode,
For I know the damage shall eventually be within,

Many times I have tried to take in the reality
Of this path I tread,
Many detours have I taken but back to
This path do still return,
To bask in the misty ambiance of tobacco,
Invest in the self imposed blur of alcohol,
Yes I am lost,
Yet my mind wishes to indulge,
As I hear the slurred voices of my companions,
They too walk their own paths,
They have begun to show sign of tiring,
Looking for the next detour,
Not myself,
I still walk this path,
Like I feel indestructible,
Or is it that I am immune to such consequences
As the cancers and the liver failures?

Yet I have heard tales of sufferers,
Those who have failed to heed warnings,
How their last days were engulfed with pain,
Not me I sometimes say,
I’ll die a ripe old age of 90,
Like I were my own God,
Till I cough blood,
Till I fail to rise in the morning maybe,
I’ll still puff and guzzle,
Throw away healthy living and laugh
And laugh at the fit and able.

Looking at this piece now, I just laugh at the sheer ignorance that filled me when I wrote it. I sure am tired, and I’m worried for my health as well. Let’s just hope my detour stays permanent.

I saw Peaches last week while submitting my last Performance clearance. She was with someone else but she gave me a few minutes of her time. She said she was having a good time at her new office then as she left she gave me a warm hug. That encounter was still fresh in my mind when I checked facebook on Saturday night. Lo and behold, she had put up several of her modeling pictures and boy did they look good.
I was tempted to give her a call I must confess, then I thought again, ‘it’s not like any thing would change’.
Truth is I miss her, not because I’m lonely, it’s more to do with the honest friendship we both had before things changed.
Then there were no obligations to call each other initially, we just hung out at a bakery near my office, talking about stuff, laughing. She had this habit of pinching me on my side then given you this feigned serious look when you teased her, at this point her jaw would begin to shiver ‘cause she was trying to hold back a smile. I really do miss those times.

Its most probably pride that won’t make me give her a call right now or in the near future. I’ll probably sit this one out sulking and hoping I’m doing the right thing.

The withdrawals of Dust and Corruption....(A meaningless title.)

2009-06-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

I have come to the absurd conclusions that my friends are not human. Yes I mean it. For the past three days they’ve showed no signs of letting up. I’m trying to keep up but…….

All in all, I watched them consume two bottles of Vodka, one red label, a martini, one Amarula and a Bottle of Remy Martin (this is not taking into account the large quantities of beer in between). As at Saturday while still following them on their ‘end to end waka’, I still heard some one boldly ask the question; “so what are we doing tonight”. I almost thought I was going to slump and die at this point.

I’m doing all this right now cause I’m on a booze break …… yes Booooozeeee break.. for those of you who don’t believe me.
I have no explanation to give any one.

These guys are still not letting up. We were soon heading for the fish market at Abacha barracks cause apparently everyone was fed up with all the proper establishment, so we wanted something new. So fish it was.
Before I go any further, I should let you all know that I have an adverse reaction, to sea food and fish especially. But you see, Fish is something I have just started to develop a liking for so you can imagine my dilemma when I found out it was in my best interest not to partake in the sacred and sumptuous ritual of fish eating. If I hear… no be just Alanta I go dance?
Ssccchhhehhhheeeerrrrrrrwwwww!!!

I had always heard they had great fish at Abacha Barracks, but the scope was one thing I never thought about. Apparently we hadn’t taken the rain into consideration as a possible obstacle…
The market was filled to the brim, beer stalls had already started setting up chairs and tables virtually on drainages and it made passage difficult.

Did I mention that I’m also allergic to rain water as well? No sooner had we sat down and placed our orders for fish did I start to feel the itch. But it didn’t seem like a big deal, until the fish came that is.
I angled one of the grilled sweet smelling trays of fish in front of me. As soon as it landed, a whiff of the aroma came to my nostrils along with some steam, immediately the steam settled on me, It was like a trigger, Alanta…… “e just be like se fire dey catch my body, Alanta, Alanta, Alanta….

I was just itching away, oblivious of who was with me….. but I noticed the fish was getting massacred. Omo I leave body start to dey chop fish oh. As one of my girls (Effects) said... Chop and scratch…lololol.

And I soon broke my withdrawal oath.
There was no better way to break the oath than with a bottle of Big Stout. Seriously it was worth it.
It wasn’t like I had been trying to quit drinking; I just needed to feel clear headed for a period of time. Now I won’t say I’m back. I just hope I’ll be able to exercise moderation.
Right now I’m reaping partial rewards for my withdrawal. No more difficulties getting out of bed any more and I’ve sort of gotten rid of the mild shaking.
Though I still owe myself; 350 push ups, 600 sit ups and 400 pull ups. I just hope I get all that done before I really start feeling out of shape.

Meanwhile I there is anew movement in town and its catching on fast these days. It would be a hell of a task trying to educate people who have no idea of what I’m talking about, but in truth all it takes to catch up is a free mind.

Its got a lot to do with humor and well thought of senseless talk…

You guys will get the picture soon.

Its called 'Dust'.

I have been engaged in a lengthy discussion with a few concerned Nigerian on Facebook and it has been enlightening and encouraging. The premise being the dissection of the Speech Nuhu Ribadu gave before the United States Congress. It made me wake up to some realistic questions we as Nigerians have to start asking our selves critically.

When do we want corruption to stop?

Are we all interested in seeing the end of corruption or we’re all the same waiting for our respective turns at the National cake?

If we genuinely want Corruption to end, in what way are we making a difference?

These three questions were at the back of my mind amongst many that I really wanted to focus on as I engaged in this discussion. Various suggestions were passed around and discounted as well as approved of. At the day I believe that one common problem hinders our common development as one nation. It is a lack common interest that stops us…

As long as East and West, North and south, middle belt and south- south, don’t realize that we all eventually have to work together, not as a government alone but as common society, we’ll always be in this present situation.

But once that is over come, and then we can start talking about building a new corrupt and improved nation. All this present talk of re-branding Naija is a waste of time and resources.

‘A sample of Dust:
Me; I’ve just joined a new secret society….
Friend; what’s the name of the society?

Me; Eggs…
Friend; Eggs???

Me; yeah Eggs.
Friend; So what do you guys do in your secret society (sounding curious)

Me; nothing much, we’re just eggs…
Friend; ???

Mind Bending ..

2009-06-08T02:38:00.000-07:00

YAWN!!!

I don't know what's wrong with me this morning.... i'm not sure if I got enough sleep through the weekend.

I am now a mind bender so indulge me while I perform my mind bending techniques on you;

‘ I’m sitting there staring at her, ……… as she types away at her laptop keyboard, concentrated intentions carved on her face, I’ve never told her before but I get helpless when she looks like that. I just lay beside her on the long chair, pretending to watch the match but the truth is I wanted to fuss all over her……………..’

What the hell is wrong with me, I’m loosing it, literally. She’s taking over my thoughts and I’m not putting up much of a fight. What the heck, why should I fight it? Lol….. I dey pity myself.

Since Thursday I've been hooked on the American animation series 'Avatar;the last Airbender'.

If most of you are un familiar with it then I won't waste your time. Its just an animated series with a great story and believe me I've fallen in love with it completely.

Was at Play again last Thursday for 'BYOB'. caught a glimpse of M.I then that was it.

1:30 AM and we were done with a bottle of smirnoff Vodka, Alize and Hennessy.

Every thing seemed to be going fine when we all decided to hit the sack. On the way home, SBB started to drive funny. Having both been involved in a car crash before, my survival mode kicked in so I started asking him questions. His responses were slurred and the car started going from side to side. SBB was in 'God mode'.

What is God mode you might ask?

‘God Mode’ is defined as the level at which one looses control but is instead left in the hands of nature to determine his/her actions and it is attained while consuming large quantities of alcohol.
It is important to note that ‘God Mode’ does not manifest in the same way in varying individuals. That is left in the hands of nature.
Most people who have experienced ‘God Mode’ tend not to remember most of what they did while in that state.

Lolololol …. (Yeah right, like that’s supposed to make sense).

SBB got us home with very minimal incidence. I rushed out of the car and said a little prayer for him even if he stayed just down the road.

By the time I saw him the next morning, he had no recollection of the events after play and was rewarded with a Hang over.

‘I held her in my arms and she just lay there, I looked at her and wished I could kiss her but I could not, I wasn’t sure if I would survive one more refusal. All she wanted to do was talk, but I wanted more than to just talk. I had her in my arms finally, held her close for re assurance yet we just sat there and talked. My mind kept racing, barely staying focused on one single thing.

Then she looked into my eyes and asked me; "what do you think of me?"

" I ..I...". my tongue failed me, I sat there thinking, not of what to say but why I couldn't say what I ought to say.

then I messed it all up, i still can't remember the words right now, all I know is that they didn't give me the desired reaction. She wasted no time in re- adjusting herself. By the time she was out of my arms i got a mini - schooling.'

The Last Airbender is a wonderful story, its got lots of characters with interesting story arcs and is entertaining to not just young teenagers but young adults as well. Central to the various characters in the series are the four basic elements of the world; Earth, Fire, Wind & Water. Most of the Characters had the ability to control at least one of the elements. But the main protagonists had the ability to control all four. And he was most Dangerous in what is called the 'Avatar state'.

But I didn't wish I had the ability to control any of the elements or be master of all four this weekend. I wished I was a mind bender. Who could manipulate Diva's mind and make it see reason with me. lololololol.

All in all I had fun this weekend. Diva put me through my paces and I realized how much I had to learn. Hooked up with Princess and her friends then went club hopping. Saturday and Sunday were rather laid back, but i still feel tired and sleepy. Maybe its old age.

Meanwhile, if any one sees me entering Aristotle again, they should use me to play, pin the tail on the donkey.

I doubt if I bent your mind.

My 'fall over'

2009-06-03T01:55:00.000-07:00

I'm typing these words right now in bewilderment, wondering how come my head hasn't fallen of since it was both my hands I've been using to support it for the past 3 hours.

Its not much of a great morning for me and I detest that. Twas SBB's birthday yesterday and we decided to chill at Eden and make it some sort of low key affair. Just us boys with a few exceptions (I invited Diva and i have to admit that she gave me hell).

"I keep thinking about what it takes to be in a relationship. Is it really only about love or do people go into relationships for different reasons? My take is that its for different reasons and I'm sure you guys would agree with me that Love just doesn't put an entire relationship in motion. There has to be some other insensitive."

If you've just finished reading the above paragraph and agree with it, think i need to pick your brain. As in It seems as if it makes sense but even while i typed those words I found it very shallow and needing further expansion.

........gosh my head hurts like hell.............its as if the true essence of pain were emanating from the very core of my brain and spreading it to the four corners of the earth (like that ain't scary enough).
I think I have what i have aptly named a 'Fall over', since i think this is worse than a hang over.

Right now every one at work just seems annoying in their silence and I feel like punching some one (maybe it'll cure my fall over).

I just have a few more weeks till the end of my NYSC and its now ever so clear that I still have no idea of what I'm gonna do with myself after service. Its as if I feel I'm short of options where I am or something, been discussing with a few friends bout ideas and stuff but I still haven't felt that push towards the right direction or maybe I'm the one who just doesn't want to move.

Saw the Nigeria V France yesterday and just before the match started, there was a One minute Silence for the victims of the Air France plan that disappeared some days ago.
Its sad to see so much people perish and my heart goes out to the families who lost their loved ones in the crash. I hope we all take out time to think and realize what this life can be like.

Sometimes we only have a moment to make a difference in life and then its over. Realizing that makes me want to reinforce in myself the need to make a difference in this world. I hope you guys are thinking the same thing as well.

We all shouldn't just get up every morning like drones and do the same things over and over again. We all need to do something different, think outside the box for a change and seriously apply that beautiful mind of yours towards making a difference. What could be more satisfying to someone more than to see his/her life's work making a difference in the world. That's what I'm aiming for and I encourage you all to do the same.

This is why we are Human.

Weekend score card vs Democracy day score card

2009-06-01T06:29:00.000-07:00

I wonder what all of you are celebrating Democracy day for? Democracy day my foot! it had me basically drowned in my own sweat cursing the bloody PHCN, what kind of self centered disconnected human beings run these entities?

Was supposed to be Karaoke night at Play on Thursday, but it ended up being BYOB. They actually moved Karaoke to Sundays, which is bad cause of our Sunday Pool parties.
Despite the change of plans BYOB was a hit. It was the complete crew again after a week; SBB, Mystery, Mr. Capable and my humble self. Added to the usual crew was Skills, Babs and Nickie.

The in house DJ had us pumped and some folks beside us started doing that popular dance... (like the one they did at the end of the Replacements).
Didn't realize it until they Mystery tried dancing with the lead and one dude cock blocked him.
As midnight approached we ditched towards Quorum hoping to have more fun but not until we heckled some chicks just getting to play (I'm Blaming it on the alcohol), not that it was insulting. I love Wande Coal; it was his lyrics we used, we kept shouting " Orobo to bad oh, Lepa top Bad oh".

Quorum turned out to be intimidating. I had to admit it was impressive. the live band was cool. But there was one problem: SBB wasn't allowed in cause of his jersey so we all left in solidarity.

Next port of call was the seldom visited Aristotle Bar, and the place was dead by the time we got there. It seemed like the perfect signal to hit the sack so we all went our different ways.

Friday started with a traditional wedding and ended with us hanging out at silver spoon and it was a live band we met at the spot, some crazy papas sturvs were on display and we showed them that despite the fact that we were young, we sure knew how to get down Owambe style.

Saturday found us in a quiet mood, we stayed home all day till about 7:00 Pm then had a couple of drinks at a garden near the house.

At this point you'll be wondering why all of a sudden we just turned the hanging out down a few notches, well everybody had his own reason sha.

One of mine being the talk I had with Diva. she asked me if I ever thought about staying home for the weekend, just doing basic stuff while catching up on my reading. i thought about it ....(for a few minutes). so i decided to give it a try.

Nowadays I'm beginning to spend a lot of time with Diva; Hooking up after work and talking a lot on the phone. I won't say I have an idea where its going but i promise to keep you posted.

One prominent thing that kept bugging me this week was the whole Democracy Day theme of the weekend. It was annoying, there were even score cards by some papers, yet I found myself at home with no electricity with intense heat again on Sunday. I scanned the papers for any readable news, nothing intrigued me until I turned to the back page.

Simon Kolawole's column was something I usually look forward to so I decided to give it a read, to my amazement it went ; blah blah blah..... telling us to appreciate the fact that we are better off as we are than we were 10 years ago.

but i have to admit that apart from a few liberties we enjoy, we're still almost back to square one, in fact maybe i should do my own score card right now.

PRESIDENT YAR' ADUA ; 2/10 .F

VICE PRESIDENT GOODLUCK; -4/ 10 HE SHOULD GO AND REPEAT

ALL THE MINISTERS; 1/10 (THAT'S BECAUSE THEY HAVE A SHITTY BOSS)

INEC AND MAURICE IWU (OR IS IT IWURUWURU); only God can score that one.

MOST STATE GOVERNORS BOTH REELECTED AND ELECTED BY RE-RUN;
3/ 10

GOVERNOR FASHOLA; NOT DECIDED YET (UNTIL I SEE THINGS FOR MYSELF. ALL THAT PICTURE PROPAGANDA WILL NOT WORK FOR ME)

So I wish I could say I agree totally with you completely Mr. Kolawole but this suffering I'm going through right now is unbearable.

My Vampire like heart ache...

2009-05-28T07:52:00.000-07:00

I've had a horrible Wednesday night and Thursday is much worse with all the taunting. I woke up with a bitter taste in my mouth (i think its because of the alcohol)and a bad dream that I I unusually had failed to forget.

My team Manchester United were once again made to look so ordinary and inefficient by Barcelona and to make matters worse every other person who isn't a Man-united fan was rooting for them to win so imagine how it looked where I watched the match considering majority of the viewers were Shepe FC. fans.

I'm still seething from the loss and would have loved not to post something today but I can't think of anything else to write about.......

Or maybe there is, considering killings in the Niger - delta. Its something that really has gotten me bothered.................
ooohh... who am I kidding, the main thing on my mind is why did we loose in such a way last night, I know Barcelona are probably the best team in the world but we basically handed them the match.

We gave them a fright in the first 10 minutes but missed our chances, immediately that Cameroonian drama queen put the ball inside the net everything went down hill from there. I wish, I wish. Well maybe it was never meant to be.

The headline on all the online sport sites make me seem like a vampire. any time I see someone opening a sport's site like Soccernet.com, my eyes feel as if they are being burned and there's this burning in my chest like someones trying to drive a stake through to my heart.

Now I understand what Maradona meant when he said "each goal felt like a dagger through my heart ", when the Argies lost 5- 1 to Bolivia, because in truth it felt a lot like that.

Now you see the sly smiles on People's faces anytime they seem because they know I'm a United fan.
Despite the defeat I'll still keep my head up, and to borrow one of the most egotistical gestures by a coach to his club fans; "chin up".
United will always rise in defeat, and the only reason why people dislike United is simply that we always win things (which makes me much more proud).
I won't write out excuses as to why we lost or the things that went wrong leading to our loss, I'll just congratulate Barcelona, because on the night the better team won and its really a nice thing to see pure football triumph in the end (not like United don't play such).

Its karaoke night tonight, meaning me and the boys are going all out to act a fool again. hope you guys meet me there. Its at the usual place ; Play.

I'm trying to learn cricket

2009-05-26T00:13:00.001-07:00

Yeah right!

The Sleazy Lounge beats the Weekend Routine...

2009-05-25T03:11:00.000-07:00

Its been two months since I've been nursing this Blog and it really is turning out to be a promising child. Though there are times when admittedly I have intentionally ignored it, there have been moments when upon looking at another person's blog i draw inspiration and regain the Will to nurture mine.

FBA posted a short on his blog talking about how tired he was while i just read XSN's post saying almost the same thing but in a longer version, it almost makes me feel as if an anti- blogging virus has hacked into their personal computers and is writing all this stuff.
Well as a newbie I have decided to put expectations at a moderate level while trying to make sure i don't make my post look forced, hence the obvious extended periods with out any post on my blog.

Now that Peaches and I have taken a break from each other, I've so quickly become accustomed to being single again, or maybe while I was in the relationship I never really took in the fact that I actually was in one, not to sound arrogant, i just still am trying to understand the whole experience.

Friday saw me getting into unexpected trouble; my CDS coordinator handed me a small piece of paper that could cause me several sleepless nights; on it was written clearly, "this is a query asking you to explain why you have missed you weekly CDS 10 times. I agreed to everything on the query except the '10 times part' , i mean I know I've missed some particular days, but claiming its up to 10 can't be possible (or is it.....?). Now i have a hearing slated for upper Friday.

With that date in mind I began my weekend routine but this time around things didn't turn out as before. It seems we've gotten so used to the routine that on this particular Friday night barring SBB we all got bored before things got into full gear, my case wasn't helped by the fact that Diva wasn't picking her phone calls. We ended up calling it a night earlier than we usually did.

Saturday proved much more interesting though, I woke up on a low, dragged myself about the house lazily for a couple of hours before making the bizarre decision to shave my moustache, the face I saw in the mirror was odd but not so bad until Mr. Capable said I looked like 'Bart Simpson'. I admit that the comment had me feeling vulnerable so by noon when Mystery came to the house and we all headed to the Barber's shop, i ended up shaving my beard as well. The look again didn't come out well, now I knew I had made an irreparable mistake. knowing I had promised myself not to cut my hair again at least till the end of the year, i still couldn't stand it any longer so with a defeated ego, i headed back to the barber for the second time that day and cut my hair. I feel i let myself down for not following through on the promise. Now I'm starting over and this time I'm keeping it strictly professional.

In between my insecurities and hair cuts me and the Boys met a Princess, as in her name is Princess and going by what she plans to do on children's day, she truly has the heart of one. Mr. Capable had met her the previous day and while they were getting acquainted she had claimed she was looking for and orphanage to visit on children's day, since Mr. Capable knew one a few streets from were we lived, he offered to take her there hoping one of us would hook up with her, but by the time we saw how honestly interested she was in this mini project we were all sold. We did our best to help liaise with the orphanage official we met.
The fact that such a young girl could have thought of such a noble act really touched me. On a day when several children around the world would have no parents to take them out to have fun, she was giving up her time to help these kids as well as spend time with them, I truly was touched. Did I mention Princess is gorgeous?

By night fall we were back at Dub-C, but this time we had Lil mama as well as Mr. Capable's girl with us... things turned out better than I had expected until we had to split up, not wanting to head home earlier than the night before, I hooked up with Lil mama and Phoenix for some club hopping.

This was the result:
Bounced at Play (reason being that I was not properly dressed.......???)

A- Lounge was virtually empty.....(we left the place immediately we got in)

so we decided to check out Krystal lounge. I have a natural dislike for the place, so much so that I'd prefer hanging out at Dub-C all night rather than spend a few hours there.

Krystal lounge to me is a place of Sleaze, the faces of the regulars there leave you feeling insecure about you environment. Prostitutes are the most prized clientele and there hardly is any room to move about freely.

I honestly hope they demolish the place, even for no reason at all. We ended up spending barely more than 30 minutes in the place, i was off chasing an over sized ass while Lil mama and Phoenix danced for a few minutes. By the time they signaled me that it was time to leave, I had gotten no where with the over sized ass. Phoenix dropped us off at home but i never made it to my room as I settled for the rug in the upstairs parlor (I think it was the idea that I was going to watch Skins for the first time that drew me to the living room).

By Sunday morning I started to think about the routine thing; is it all necessary? Do I have to be out all weekend? why does it have to be alcohol all the time? But also paramount on my mind was the fear of visiting that Sleazy Lounge again, the mere thought of it made me draw up a new routine I plan to implement if everything goes according to plan this week, but first I'll list my weekend routine;

Thursday: Eden garden

Friday: Dub-C and any club willing to admit me.

Saturday: Just Dub-C (have to go to church on Sunday morning)

Sunday:Eden Garden.

now my preliminary outline for a new routine is

Thursday: Karaoke at Play

Friday: Dub-C

Saturday: Spend time with Family and Friends during the day.

Sunday: Pool party at The Dome.

If any one has any suggestions let me know.

Meanwhile I still am hoping for something to be done about that stupid lounge oh....

Is it Goodbye Peaches? but i can't sing!!!

2009-05-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be having a wonderful week, in truth its been great fun, but i won't give it a complete 10.

It is with a heavy heart and a deep sense of regrettable relief i announce the parting of ways between I and my adorable Peaches... in as much as a lot of people didn't believe the relationship was not going to last, i tried everything I could to make it real, she barely even tried, and soon enough i began to feel as if I was the one who so badly wanted this relationship so therefore everything lay in my hands.

Tuesday was her birthday funny enough so i decided to take her to the movies then have dinner, but as usual she was more than willing to run off with er friends to meet other 'friends' for drinks somewhere else... like I told you guys i wonder what made me agree to this relationship, maybe it was because I felt i would be ungrateful if i showed her I didn't appreciate the affection she showed me as she mouthed the words "I love you to me" each time we spoke on the phone, or it was simply my own selfish reason of wanting to endure a possibly decent relationship after years of skepticism and playing cowboy.

Peaches was special nonetheless, tall and graceful, with a cute smile, her distinct sense of fashion gave her a funny eccentricity that I found endearing. In the real sense we made a lot of sense as good friends, and it was during the eve of the beginning of our relationship that i began to realize this, sadly I admit i was not man enough to tell her how much things had changed. maybe now I'll never enjoy that friendship anymore, maybe we'll just pass the remaining days of our lives never crossing paths again, I'm not sure.

Post Peaches era seems to have a lot of promise to it from the way things are looking, Thursday had me hanging out with the boys ; Mr. Capable, Mystery and Sills for a karaoke night at Play and we only succeeded in making torturous music for the decent patrons of the establishment... at least I found out one thing about myself; me singing in public amounts to one of the torture tactics employed by the CIA in retrieving information from enemy combatants.

Besides the singing there was also beer consumption on a partially empty stomach, apparently amidst all the fun Mystery and myself had forgotten the importance of food substance in the stomach while consuming alcoholic beverages so we were 3 steps above tipsy by the time we were through with our howling at Play.

I'll give you guys more info on the weekend as soon as I can...

2009-05-19T05:23:00.000-07:00

i woke up Saturday morning in one of the worst ways possible, by some miracle or freak of nature, a 911 truck had found its way into my head and was trying to get out, the only way being to ram its way out through my skull. one of my dolls came into wake me and Mr. Capable up for the daily morning devotions and i just sat up in bed wondering what the hell i had been doing last night to cause me so much anguish on Saturday morning.

Okay i do remember what i freaking did (most of it that is), as it is customary to happen on Fridays with Abuja corpers, me and Mr. Capable joined a few friends (both old and new) for a couple of drinks, and from there moved on to Dub- C later that night.

Okay I'll get straight to the point; all this trailer in my head talk was caused by 2 large bottles of Smirnoff Vodka. in no small way did i practise moderation in its consumption. so there I was on a Saturday morning looking like a Swine Flu victim. initially i was glad i was the only one who felt bad for myself because Mr. Capable was fighting his own battle with punishing spirits of Hangover; he already had me worried cause from what he was saying i began to fear that the alcohol effect were beginning to manifest themselves psychologically than physically because he had started to say something like Jesus told him to do a few things... my own problem didn't get worse till Lil' mama came into the room, she spent a few minutes with Mr. Capable and as she was leaving she looked down on me sprawled on my bed almost lifeless, and i heard her sigh as she said the words "look at this one". even if i was lying down face down with my eyes closed i could picture the expression on her face, that had me thinking.

soon enough i was wide awake thinking of what to do, i looked at my bed side table and caught a glimpse of the TV remote control, in two minutes time i was watching Lilo and Stitch...no one should get me wrong; Lilo is so cute in her naivety and stitch is adorable as he is gruesome but, i got bored and slept off.

Noon came and game time arrived; Arsenal were playing Man- U at Oldtrafford. Man- U needed just a point while Arsenal were just there to see if they could spoil the fun, gladly they didn't.
as they say the rest is now history.

i swear I'm not feeling myself as I'm writing this thing ooh... maybe its hunger. just came back from the national assembly and i really feel embarrassed; we walked into the purported conference room at the national assembly for what we believed to have been the Senate committee meeting on the NNPC, by now the opening prayers had just been said so we hurriedly joined the rest of the people in the room.
with the opening prayer said, the chairman of the committee looked up and asked if we were representing the minister of Energy, and that was when it hit me, we were not supposed to be there. he immediately explained to us that this was in fact a committee hearing on the NLNG. i tried my best to act unflustered as i left the room but inside me i kept saying to myself; " oh boy, see national embarrassment".

till tomorrow sha........

meanwhile today is Peaches' birthday so I'm thinking of taking her to go see a movie then probably spend some time talking(i have no idea what to get her) and I've been thinking about us lately so I'm just hoping that we really get to clear the air. just realized how self centered and out of touch with my feeling I've been for a while now............ someone recently described me as cold and that really got me thinking up to this point....
I'll fill you guys in on what i discovered later...

Health Seminars make me sick..

2009-05-18T01:56:00.000-07:00

“I don Come oh”
This time around I’m not gonna let anything put me down this evening, plus its game night so I know I definitely am going to be having a couple of beers at least. BTW (by the way; for those of you who don’t understand cyber lingua), Happy birthday to my dear friend, Skills. The crazy boy is actually the first person to start following my blog but I wonder why he doesn’t have his own blog considering the amount of activity the guy gets into around this Abuja. To have an Idea of what I mean, he’s a king Kong to my Mighty Joe Young.

The past few days have been interesting compared to the dull weekend that preceded it despite the lack of pleasurable consumptions of liquor or Booze. I was just having days that were worth thanking God for, but as usual, something interesting comes along to make sure you’re seriously dialed in to reality. First of all Human Resources at work felt it was adequate to organize a Health Seminar for all members of staff and in my experience these kind of things are not always fun. They brought in specialists to talk about various stuffs ranging from HIV/AIDS to stress and depression. The most awkward session happened on day two though when this big burly Doc was brought in to talk about Urology related ailments ranging from Prostate cancer to erectile dysfunction. Believe you me there was nothing comfortable about the whole session despite the fact that it was educating. For those of you who have such problems, I recommend the guy to you because he kept saying something about remedying such situations with minimal surgical incisions or so.

Besides that I’ve been deeply involving myself in a personal project that I hope will become a basis for my life’s dream, I won’t get into details yet now though, till I get a more structured blueprint.

Till next week guys, I’m sure by then the weekend would have brought with it a Post well worth writing.

My Weekend and Sam....

2009-05-11T07:26:00.000-07:00

I have had one of the most forgettable weekends in ages in terms of my habitual nocturnal activities. I never imagined myself staying home on a Friday night intentionally with only local T. V content for company. Believe you me I so dearly want to forget this weekend, save for Friday afternoon when I totally got wasted before 3:00 PM.

There is one thing people should know about serving in Abuja, it can be wasteful; a Corper is likely to spend his community development days getting drunk half the time. Its double trouble if his CD is on Friday, because the likely hood of going clubbing is calculated into this probability.
After 3:00 PM my day was over, or more like my weekend was over socially, my other only compensation being that I hung out with the usual crew plus a few additions in the form of Diva and Dude. Dude had just come in from Lagos for work while I hadn’t seen Diva in a while.

As usual it was Dub-C through out, though the alcohol to human consumption ratio was a bit more concentrated. Apparently I was one of only 3 people expected to finish a bottle of Vodka, the others being Mr. Capable and Diva. Let me just say at this point that I will sadly not be giving you details of what happened as a result of the consumption of the Vodka (this is because of the gag order imposed on me by one of the participants).

Meanwhile every other seemingly smart person preferred Red wine, it seemed that there was something good about the particular bottle they were drinking cause they were not satisfied with one.

Like I said, the rest of the weekend was forgettable, that is until I watched T.V yesterday. Lil mama was watching E! New in the evening when they did a short on the hottest Australian actors in Hollywood. As most of you know by now, I’ve wanted to do a piece on Sam Worthington, and no it’s not because he’s good looking and Aussie. Rather it’s to rant about the meteoric rise he’s had over the year. Low and behold, there he was smiling on T.V as if to say; “mumu, nothing wey you fit do”(wonder how that will sound ). It really got me pissed I must say. Not like I have any thing against the guy personally, I just wish I knew some of his previous works so that I would know what to expect.

For those of you who don’t know, Sam Worthington is going to be in two major movies this year and they both have Box office dynamite attached to them. Being a movie buff, I’m always accustomed to following the lives of both established and up and coming actors. So I can say I’m able to predict who is next to blow based on their previous works or their present performance. I had always been good at it and if I had a paying job predicting the next big thing out of Hollywood, I’d probably be driving a Ferrari by now. Well that fantasy was threatened recently with the name peddling of Sam Worthington. Who the hell is he you might ask; well the little I can tell you guys about him personally is that he’s Australian, about 30 years of age, and has never done any T.V or movie outside Australia until now.
Right now he’s set to star in James Cameron’s big budget movie; Avatar, as well as the fourth installment of the Terminator franchise directed by McG; Terminator Salvation. Which he will co- star with Christian Bale. All this might seem senseless to you but I honestly don’t understand this particular guy’s quick rise, and as if to kick sand in my face while I was still struggling to understand what was going on, he’s just been confirmed as the lead (Persius) in the remake of Clash of the Titans. Tell me I’m only dreaming folks.

For the sake of the dude’s career I hope all these movies break the bank at the box office, if not he’ll just turn out to be a flash in the pan.

Meanwhile the whole dull weekend had me thinking about life after service. The recurring question going through my head being what I was going to do after service. So I’m just sitting here right now trying to figure that out..

Glory Glory !! And a wig..

2009-05-06T06:37:00.000-07:00

The past few post have not been worth any thing memorable to you guys I’m sure safe for a few quips and short paragraph, there hasn’t been much in them to catch your eye.

I know this cause I strive to be my own best critic, endeavoring to be as honest with myself as much as possible.

Now I find myself on this pages again attempting once again to give you reason to click on my blog any time you see me put up a new notification on my FB profile status or you just simply decide to stop by on a whim.

Today I’ll make you guys a promise, you faithful few who see a glimmer of hope in this untapped ability of mine, an ability that I have left lying dormant for a major part of my growing years leaning instead on other possibilities that have brought me few rewards.

I Promise to always give you guys as much reason to read this blog as much as you want to update you facebook profile status, and if I have nothing interesting for you all, I’ll stay away so that I won’t bother you.

Now back to work, nothing worth remembering at work happened yesterday, save for the obvious intimidation I received from senior staffs who had Arsenal allegiances, I was virtually bullied and intimidated through out the working day, I did my best to put up a brave face but deep down I knew I felt uneasy, thoughts flooded my mind as flash back after flash back replayed endlessly; of chances missed by United at OT. I wished I could turn back the hands of time and give Almunia a mild sedative that would both slow him down and go unnoticed if there was suspicion of foul play (the evil part of me thought this up oh). I tried to busy myself with something to read but even Wole Soyinka’s THE MAN DIED couldn’t take my mind of the inevitable hour a lot of people around Europe and surprisingly Africa were looking forward to; 7 :45 PM.

Unlike me, my brother seemed positive or so it seemed according to his profile status, but Arsenal fans on FB were having a field day. It left me wondering why, so I looked up the most vocal and foul mouthed Arsenal Blogger I knew; “arseblog.com”, what I found wasn’t at all pleasing, in fact I began t have that feeling that I was going to throw hope up at any time.

“THE MAN DIED” still wasn’t doing me any favors still. Arseblogger had gone on a riling campaign and from what I read, he did a pretty good job with it, cause I posted it to a few of my friends on FB and their reaction was almost aggressive, I wondered if I was going to survive this day.

The only Man U fan I knew I the entire office was Uncle Sule and all he simply said was “don’t panic”. “Don’t panic”, what the hell was that going to do for me, I wish he could have told me something, more complex like; “I went to see a Mystic yesterday night and she asked me to look into her glass ball, I saw Man U scoring 5 un-replied goals with you in front of your T.V dancing with no shirt on”. If that was what he told me I would have walked away laughing and gone straight to a bar, drank as much Guinness I could swallow till the match started, then back the T,V all through out the match so that I would prove the mystic wrong only on the prediction that I would celebrate with my shirt off.

On getting home I snuck in quietly so that Chairman (fake Chelsea fan) wouldn’t taunt me about the match, ran up to my room and waited for Mr. Capable to get home. He found me watch the news which at that point in time was reporting on the re- opening of the presidential petition tribunal. At that moment, we sat on our bed staring at the T.V. the report kept on showing the Supreme Court filled with lawyers wearing their wigs and gowns.

I have always respected the legal profession, but I have never admired their court room fashion antics for once, the whole idea of Nigerian lawyers wearing the wig and gown has never appealed to me, maybe the black robes are not that bad (even though they some how remind me of students from Hogwarts), the wig to me is one step too far in my opinion. To my knowledge it’s something that lawyers inherited from their colonial masters and it would have made sense in the old days when there was still a strong connection to the British colonialists but I think we need to portray ourselves as more indigenously matured to the outside world.

I don’t know how many of you would agree with me though. But I still stand my ground that lawyers loose the wig. Mr.Capable’s only defense for my question was that the wig portrayed an image of wisdom. Yeah right, like every lawyer with a wig had wisdom in them, I beg to defer, if my learned friends reading this would permit me, but I believe that should be determined more by the words spoken before an honorable judge. You guys hola at me with your feed backs on the issue.

By now most of you will know what the results of the match between Arsenal and Man U ended up being. I watched the match with the rest of the guys in Garki. It’s important for you guys to know that Mystery is currently the only Arsenal fan I hang out with on a regular basis, so the result did him no favor, at a point during the match he even shouted at Mr. Capable.

From my own point of view I was mighty glad with fergie’s tactic, playing an averagely young squad against the very young and talented gunners that were full of running and slick passing yet all that couldn’t make up for experience and determination. Two quick goals in the first 11 minutes seemed to put the game to bed but by the hour mark United added another one with a beautiful counter attack move that saw the man of the match; Ronaldo as the starter and finisher of such a peach.

Arsenal fans would wish to forget this match but revenge as well would also be on their minds, especially with post- match comments from Patrice Evra, the united left back was quoted as saying the match had been a game of eleven men against eleven children. I wish he hadn’t said that though, because I wouldn’t want to have to play Arsenal at such a key stage in the league with vengeance on their minds.

I won’t say much about Arsenal again because they already have enough on their plates. I just hope next season will see them make good experienced buys rather than continue over depending on inexperienced youngsters.

On a much lighter note, I think I’ll go see a movie before the week ends, most likely X- men origins: Wolverine. The illegally released copies don’t do the movie enough justice despite fan- boys complaining on review sites that the graphics were not good enough I still believe it’s a cool movie. So hope I catch you guys at Ceddi.

May Day Weekend round up

2009-05-04T07:42:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this post cause i feel there are some parts of the weekend I might have forgotten, incase you guys remember any thing i missed out between friday and Saturday, please feel free to update in the comment column.

I'm just sitting at my desk at the office, bored to death, scratching my growing facial hair (thats because i've made a promise not to cut it till next year) and wondering what i'm going to write about.

I spent most of last week thinking about a lot of things in my life and i had to admit to myself that there was something wrong with me, maybe I then proceeded to take it out on the two coniving sisters in my office. i don't know sha.... then i did something really wierd; i typed in the words personality disorder on google and soon enough i found a page that did personality disorder tests for free. It seemed funny that a series of random questions would tell me the extent to which i had a varying array of disoders to my personality.

After answering about 50 or so random questions it gave me a very interesting result to look at; the result was arranged in a table format, stating that i had a high likelihood of being paranoid, moderate likelihood of being a schidzoid (what ever that means).

It really was interesting to go further to read the analysis, but it soon got boring, as in really how can a series of random answers tell me to what degree I possibly could develop such and such personality disorder. To realize that i even went ahead to take the test and read the subsequent result really creeped me out.

So now i have personality disorders and they can be cured with very funny and expensive drugs..... scchhhrrrrreeecchhhpppp...., like i don't have better things to worry about.

Thursday:

I decided to take thursday off work and get some rest. It helped to a large extent. At least untill Chairman started asking me why I didn't go to work. That really pissed me off, you see for the past five months or so me and chairman have had some sort of silent agreement in our relationship; which has been "leave and let live", that is until Thursday, what ever made him ask me the question still baffels me, yet what make it worse is the fact that he went a step further to try and give me the talk. I wasn't in the mood for any of our usual "i'm smarter than you" verbal jousting so i let him have a field day with his Parental wisdom. By the time he was through I had my head nestled on a throw pillow snoozing off (not like I intended to ignore him, its just that his talk has become so monotonous these past few years that i can recite and guess correctly everything he has to say).

By 3:00 PM thursday i'm so bored out of my skin and helpless for ideas. I've been sleeping all day with nothing but how to start writing my new blog post when next i get to the office.

I'm actually having problems picking which topic i should write about first; between "WHO THE HELL IS SAM WORTHINGTON" & "THIS ALMOST ENDLESS RECURRING DREAM". These two issues have been bobbing around in my head for months now and i can't seem to find the steam in my engine to start writing on any of them.

By 3:30 PM Mr. capable calls in to tell me he's on his way home from Chambers (Ope Oh!!) at least it won't be me alone in the house, plus he's coming with my little dolls.

As per its thursday, there's always the possibility of going out tonight but its rather slim, by night fall me and Mr. Capable mutually agree to stay home tonight. We both know fully well that Friday is definately not going to be the same though.

Friday- Saturday:

Maama says friday is Spring cleaning, which i don't totally agree with. I would have preferred if it was "sleeping in till all your eyes puffed out day". The rest of the house get to work save for me, Mr. capable and lil' mama....

we stay put in our rooms doing nothing too serious, I'm just lying in bed thinking whether I should call Peaches or not (yes i have a girlfriend and i use that cheesy name for her). All that is soon put on hold when Chairman calls us downstairs, apparently the three of us are expected to take part in the spring cleaning, I didn't know oh......

Me and Mr. Capable opt to do some outside ground work that would make us look more macho (the one that requires the use of a hoe and cutlass). it takes us no less than 3 hours to complete. By the time we are true the blisters on my hands have me fuming..(I can't remember the last time I had them; maybe SS2?)

We hooked up with SBB and Mystery later in the evening; around 5:00 PM but by 6:00 we've not even left home cause Mystery's car security is acting up, so we're turned into emergency mechanics and to make matters worse the street lights aren't on (because of PHCN) so we have to use the flash on Mr. Capable's camera phone.

By the time we're through sorting out the car problem its about 7 :00 PM and our first port of call is Dub- C, as usual its getting packed and lively, the DJ doesn't seem to be on point tonight though. As the night goes on we're soon joined by a few more friends, its definatley gonna be a long night cause everyone soon starts asking for another drink and we've only just finished a bottle of Red Label, so the next thing we go for is a Blue Smirnoff Vodka...... we call it "Amnesia".
We all soon agree that we'll be hanging out at a A- lounge which just newly opened. It turnsout to be a good choice cause we get guest appearances from Wande Coal and M.I. i actually thought Wande was really fat but apparently Mr. Capable is even fatter than him...lol.... i think i dance till about 3:45 AM the next morning and by the time we were leaving the club, my ears felt like they had ear muffs on them. SBB had to scream through the phone when i called him to confirm where he had parked.

Funny enough I woke up at about 9: 00 AM that same morning, no hang over was in the air and Manchester United had an early kick off but because of everybody's slow motion we missed the entire first half of the game. Gladly United won the match with little or no fuss so i didn't need to check my heart rate once every 30 seconds.

After the game SBB left us to take care of some personal matter (*wink * wink).... while the rest of us hooked up with a few other guys at a spot in maitama.....
the rest of the weekend was rather normal stuff though, i eventually hooked up with Peaches on Sunday and believe you me it was the second shortest meeting we've ever had (we'll talk about that later).

lies and betrayals.....

2009-04-29T05:04:00.000-07:00

I hate dwelling on the negatives at a time like this in my life, despite my concious efforts to avoid it i find myslef helplessly drawn to these constant forces that succeed in irritating and annoying me, leaving me to eventually reduce myself to a lesser state of begrudgfull anger and resentment. Time and time again i have prayed to God that he helps me avoid people who cause me to do such things.

Unfortunately that prayer was not answered last week Monday. Not feeling too well on sunday night, i called one of my colleagues to tell her i might not come in to work on monday. Instead she stopped me in mid- sentence, telling me that the reported attempt to change our CDs had been successful, the good part was my colleague and alleged office friend (Flavor) who handled the whole change of CD process intentionally forgot to change her's. I thought we all agreed to forget about the letter and let it dissappear "ministry style", apparently she had grown chicken legs and out of fear of being discovered to not have submitted the letter had decided to submit it without the knowledge of the rest of us. It really felt like betrayal to me.

I found my way to the office first thing monday morning, as usual i was first in, sitting at my desk patiently waiting, planning my mode of attack. I say attack at this point because I interpretted this underhanded move by Flavor as an attack on not only me but on the rest of us corpers in the office. As i waited for who would first show up between Madam V and Flavor (both of whom i believed had conived to perpetuate this slight), I tried to think of the best way to unsettle them. The thing about me is i'm not a strategic type of fighter, i'm only good with first attacks, my follow ups tend to let me down hence my average record of equal numbers of victories and defeats (lol). Now here I was about to engage in a verbal duel with not one but two women who possessed high pitched nasal voices which they would try to use in drowning out what ever point i was trying to make.

Soon I had built up my first attack, which was bound to unsettle them no matter what, my problem as usual was my follow up attack....

you can call me petty but i wasn't going to be undone by two coniving women who had no reason to do what they did but to exercise a bit of what they percieved to be priviledged positions. I had already created a water proof excuse for refusing the CD change in case my proposed duel ended in my utter humiliation and defeat. I wasn't going to loose on two fronts no matter what.

As i sat alone in the Office that morning thinking about the best follow up strategy ever thought up by man, the answer walked right in; the new Corper, Steve who had barely spent more 3 weeks in the department walked in and that was when the idea hit me. Having prior knowledge of the coniving sisters intention to disposses him of his new desk and work station, I unashmedly started working on him, i riled him up, telling him of Madam V and Flavor's plan to take away his seat and install Flavor in his stead while sending him to share my system with me. I already knew there was nothing he could do about that but i made him see reason in not allowing them take away both his desk as well as his system since he was the one who made the effort to clear the space the previous week. This ploy was suitable enough for me considering how sure they had seemed that they would get both the desk and the system(now they were in for a suprise, thanks to my ginger)

When the two women were in the same room i seized the moment to begin my attack, i started by asking Madam V why no corper was consulted before our CD days were changed, she gave me the feeble excuse that the head of HR wasn't happy with the fact that no corper remained in the office on friday, * this was somewhat too late to rectify with respect to the old corpers, considering we had less than three months left to spend, but Steve, the new Corper was willing to change his since he was new. I chided her for not taking our respective schedules into consideration and went ahead to ask directly to put a stop to the whole process, she soon lost her composure, she started accusing me of being rude and antagonistic towards her, instead of replying her i changed focus to her accomplice. Flavor had been expecting me to do something like this so she just sat there quielty until I pointedly accused her of not changing only her CD day, by this time the deputy Director had come into the office and was asking what the argument was all about, when he heard most of the story, i felt i would get an unbiased listening ear, but madam V had her own plans. She went further with the story, claiming that it was a directive from the Director General himself. That undid it all for me, immediatley the deputy Director heard this, he began to chastize me; " I've never known you to be like this so stop confronting your superior, if you have a problem with the directive go to the proper office and lay your complaint rather than shouting at your superior". At this point i refused to give up so i continued with my plan, attacking Flavor, i claimed ; " but she was the one who submitted the letter and she intentionally refused to change her CD". This only sounded more like an attempt to save face rather than an attack, i was obviously loosing this fight.

The DD (deputy Director), looked to Flavor and asked her if my claim was true while Madam V raised her voice as i had anticipated and began to deny my allegation ; "how do you know that"? The DD simply looked to Flavor for confirmation. That was when the lie came out of her mouth; "my CD is not on friday any more sir". I fell silent and looked at her intensly, i clenched my fist tightly and looked at her but she averted my eyes easily because the DD was already addressing me, ;" don't make such false accusations anymore, now will you get back to work". I felt as if i had been shot straight in the head, right in front of a senior staff these two women decided to lie.

I had apparently lost this battle, so i only had my second plan left, which was all dependent on Steve, meanwhile i headed straight for the Human resources deparment. I explained myself there without skipping a beat with my story well thought of and laid out, luckily i was heard and cleared without much fuss. By the time i got back to the department my second plan was playing out, with Steve already giving both women a hard time already, i couldn't help myself upon seeing the exasperated expressions on the two of them's faces so much that i burst out laughing at a point and ran out of the office. The issue was finally settled with the removal of the Computer system from Steve's table. I knew things would never be the same again in the office and unknown to her the biggest loser in this case was Flavor (i doubt if she realizes this). My CD is still on friday and Flavor can barely look me in the eye anymore.......

As for the other two corpers, Steve already agreed for his to be changed while Princess seemed to be clueless about the whole thing, she was fine as long as the change didn't affect her yellowing skin or pretty face. We were all good. At the time of documentation of the CD day changes, Flavor's CD day still fell on friday.

Lap dances???......oh yeah.....

2009-04-27T04:06:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to start today's post with a rant (not yet that is), cause its a monday, but annoying one at that.

As last weekend appraoched i was praying earnestly to God to make the weekend better than the previous one especially with my present state of Micro- Economic fainancial crisis. So here I was even with out almost a dime, hoping to have a good night out on friday night.

Friday afternoon didn't look like it was going to lead to answered prayers, infact I had to wait till later in the night before my prayers were answered; as at 8:00 Pm i was already tucked in bed reading a Harry potter Novel, contemplating what saturday was going to be like, Mr. Capable, my brother was across the room on his own bed doing the same thing, it was as if we were mirroring ourselves through out that day (except for doing laundry that is). I kept playing around with the idea that something would give and things would just change for the better.......

So i picked up my Glo Line which had barely any credit in it and decided to try flashing SBB. After about 3 attempts with no returned call from SBB, i gave up.

To tell you the truth i just kept fuming inside, how come my sister was out having fun while me, the designated rebel in the house was all up in his room performing the unusual role of the good child, i wasn't about to be upstaged, now i knew i had to do something to overide such mutinous attempts, luckyly it would require no direct confrontation with Sis.

All i have to do is make sure i stay out later than usual then i'll have my Crown back (lol). But the way things were looking right now, there was no going out for me.

8: 30 PM : My MTN line starts blaring out "jocking jay-Z" so i know its one of my close friends, as I head across the room to pick it up from where I left it charging I say a silent prayer that its SBB. My Prayers have been answered!!! Its SBB, he didn't even waist any time telling me to start heading out the door, he was already waiting for me and Mr. Capable out front. Mystery asked us to meet up with him at Blake's resort while he wanted to go pick up Tessy Gwagz.

The last bit of information got me thinking; how serious was Mystery going to take Tessy Gwagz.

In no time we had hooked up with Mystery and were chilling at Blake's but deep down i wasn't feeling the place yet, it felt like i was in an old people's home that served Alchohol and that didnt feel right in the real sense, so i just sat there looking bored, i wasn't sure if the rest of the crew were feeling the place considering there were only two ladies with us; Tessy gwagz and SBB's Facebook girlfriend, the remaining guys; Myself ,Mr. Capable and Ay just sat there doing our best to make conversation. Soon enough everyone seemed to get bored and that was our que to head for Dub-C.

Dub- c proved to be a better clime than Blake's could have been, as soon as I got to the gate I started sporting faces i knew and the place felt more welcoming, the alarming thing was the large amount of people decending on the place.

Dub- C that i had discovered little over a year ago had now turned to a focal point for the average Abuja weekend Night crawler. As I walked through the gates I reflected very briefly back to the days when the place had not attained its present height of popularity. Now all sorts of people were hanging out there, but one thing that couldn't be denied was that it was a cool place to hook up with Friends you would have hardly seen previously.

And it was in this spirit that i found "Ginger master", I hadn't seen him in weeks but he seemed to be doing good considerig the mood I found him in plus the fact that he literarily tried to empty a bottle of Absolute Vodka down my throat, after avoiding that little debacle we all soon found ourselves a place to sit even though it was a bit far off from the grooving crowd; (it would be important to note that Dub-c does not have a designated dance floor, still it has a Dj that performs from thursday till Sunday. people actually dance on Gravel).
Then most of the restless people started leaving, leaving the rest of us who knew that Dub- C was going to be our last port of call before we hit the sack. I just sat there sipping my cup of brandy just staring at the rest of the people around me.

There was a couple dancing nearby and the way they moved just got me curious, then that part of my mind that never ceases to amaze me sprang to life; I wanted a lap dance. A brief feeling of a scantily clad woman grinding her behind up and down my laps and groin, not like i wanted to get off from that, i simply felt like being up to some mischief.
I decided to look around, but that proved unnecessary, just a table away from where we were sitting a girl sat by herself, it didn't take me more than a few minutes to determine she was in Dub- C more for business than for pleasure. Despite the fact that i had knowledge of her intentions i felt drawn to her and i knew a part of me had pre-selected her for my adventure for tonight but there was an obstacle i had to overcome. Bruno; a friend of mine who i normally ran into at Dub-C was already chatting her up, this already had derailed my plans, so as I approached I knew I would be treated more as a customer than an aquiantance, so I decided to give her what she expected.
I had her sit just beside me while I started chatting her up, as we talked I took every feature about her in; she was almost 6 feet tall, dark, had partially brown weaves. her skin seemed to glow beneath the moonlight, she had slight mounds of breast which were complimented by a small round waist and a small curved backside.
Then all of a sudden she seemed to loose patience so she just asked me; " do you want me for the night or you're just wasting my time, 'cause if you want any its going to cost you 7000 naira". I was bursting with laughter inside but didn't dare show it, instead I put up a stern face and asked her; " if you're selling me something why don't I know what i'm getting before I give you the money?" As I said this I made the slight gesture of pointing to my thighs, she looked from my eyes to my thighs and smiled, I returned the gesture with a sly smile. We were quiet for almost a minute as we just sat there looking at each other. I had already told my friends what I wanted to do so unknown to her they sat there taking in everything that was said, waiting for her to finally take the bait.

Apparently they had expectded things to take much longer but to thier suprise, in one swift movement i held her gently by the palm as if I was guiding her over a tight rope and she lifted herself off the chair while still looking straight at me, I acted as if none of this suprised me. As she sat on my lap the Dj started playing a new song, this prompted me to whisper in her ears; " i'm not seeing much right now".
Through out all this time I was bracing my self for the worst; being that she would stand up adruptly and walk away. Rather than do that she started grinding her hips and the rhythm of her body said everything. I just sat there with a false frown on my face but inside I was soaked with a feeling of satisfaction while the rest of the guys kept whispering unintelligible things at me that I failed to hear.
It didn't take long before she got up, at that point she kept insisting I pay her before we went any further. Thank God for the cover of darkness cause I couldn't imagine what she would have done if she had seen the smirk on my face. I couldn't play along anymore so I told her to do what any woman in her line of business would never do; she would get paid upon reaching my house, from what i gathered it was a no no, despite this information i still feared she would agree and that would have been my undoing. I stayed calm and still pretended to be interested, holding my breath for a reply. She said no way and started walking away........
I immediatly wasted no time in getting into SBB's car and we were soon heading home.

Na wah for blogging oh!!!!

2009-04-22T04:18:00.000-07:00

People see me see trouble oh, i never knew blogging was this tedious or complicated, apparently my entry for to day has been posted as the second entry befor this one.... pleases bear with me. any one who want's to see today's own can check out the one titled " Property Inspection???"

Fuel Queues make me sick

2009-04-20T05:19:00.000-07:00

Right now i'm sitting in a car owned by one of my Bosses at the office, queing for fuel.
i heard about the scarcity and made a few observations that there were a few long lines but never thought i'd land right smack in the middle of it. now the heat i've always dreaded is scorching me with a big grin on its face (if it had one).... i wonder what Nigeria is turning into; for no reason at all fuel supply has ceased, the next thing you start hearing is that the whole charade is politicaly motivated, especially with the PDP whatever going on in the middle of town.
I swear the last thing that should happen now is for one smelly convoy carrying one toothless minister or special adviser to stop right beside me, by the time i'm finished with him, he'll wish it was only a piece of my mind I gave him.
Speak of the devil one of them just passed by noisily and as if they knew what was going through my mind they beat the traffic light.
Honestly we Abuja people are lucky but we don't know, back then in lagos, meeting a queue was like running into a brick wall and having no other direction to turn to, what would make things worse was the amount of fillling station attendants you would have to settle (official and unofficial). Here in abuja Queues try to pretend that they are formed by normal well behaved people but something tells me they're all looking for the next "sharp Guy" to emulate.

Men i don suffer, after spending more than six years hustling to get a degree from a federal university i eventually entered the mandatory Youth service corps about seven months ago. so far the best work i've done couldn't earn me enough regard to escape this sort of errand. As i sit here in self pity wondering why I didn't settle for one obscure posting in the middle of no where rather than staying in Abuja.
My heart goes out to Drivers in Nigeria, often ignored and unknowingly mistreated by their employers, considering what they have to go through in times like these; sitting in thier oga's cars under the hot sun with no plans of retirement, benefit or health insurance. Gosh! life really is unfair.
hhhmmmmm........ after almost two hours of waiting I can now see the bend leading up to the filling station entrance now one of the scariest things going through my mind just above the possibility of the filling station catching fire is the attendants telling me they're out of fuel when its just about my turn. I bet you i'll scoop every last available drop they've got even if it means me using a teaspoon. i'm trying to banish such negative thoughts from my mind but its hard since i'm so close, besides these fellow drivers i thought i had formed a bond with through the whole ordeal don't seem to recognize me anymore; they all now look like fuel sucking vampires, maybe my face too has changed......

Property Inspection???

2009-04-16T08:03:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of people who believe that writers are depressed little people who sit in unlit rooms, suffering from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)and hardly have any form of social life. Well the truth is that a lot of us spend a lot of our lives in the open, mixing and socialising and if i could go a bit far, i'll say we're have the best receptive responses when it comes to experiences.

Well most of the time i've always found experience through my passive observation of things around me and this normally leads me to experence all sorts of emotions along with other people, truth is they might never know i feel this way, but i take in everything as a new experience; i am alive..

so waiting in line to buy fuel was annoying in a way but it gave me a new perspective on the things professional private drivers go through.

Part of the experiences i enjoy in Abuja for now is the fact that as a corper i'm required to spend a day out of the five working days of the week performing community development (CD), but seeing that most of the communities within the Abuja metropolis are government developed there isn't much else to do, especially as my own CD group is sanitation and hold on a friday, i cherish the lack of the need to pick up a broom or rake or what ever form of sanitation equipment/ tool. All i am required to do is pay the hush money which is adequatly named CD dues and make sure i show up every friday to answer present.

"Well that now is being threatened oh"... i just came across an outgoing mail to the director of NYSC asking him to change all the CD days of the corp members in my office. most annoying is that no one CD is to fall on a friday if this letter is acted upon. Well that is if it is acted upon, i mean even if they had still left someone's CD on a friday at least i would have had someone to resent for the next 4 months.

for now lets just say the letter is being "taken care of ministry style" (i'll expalin that to you later).

Meanwhile i had a busy day at the office yesterday, so as much as i wanted to post something new, i barely had time, i was turned into virtually everything an office staff was required to do, from fixing extension boxes to typing memos. The jobs kept coming in thick and fast and i could barely catch a break.

Then an interesting offer came in; one of my deputy directors and The the boss were going round abuja to inspect the properties owned by the property wing of the NNPC within the FCT. It was basically routine appraisals to confirm the conditions of the properties before proceeding ahead with sale or privatisation.
i jumped at the chance immediatly since i happened to be the only one in the office at this point in time (the rest of the corpers had vanished into thin air).

So out we went, 7 of us; The Boss, deputy Director, Senior enterprise officer in charge of NNPC properties, myself , two consultants to the properties and the driver....
We ended up heading for a six hecter land in Maraba first of all, this land had been enchroached upon by illegal builders who apparently had done more development in 5 years than the local area council could do in 25... they had built several houses and a handful of mini estates (i mean large face me i face you compounds) every where. This was obviously going to pose a problem if the land was to be sold. Meanwhile the consultants claimed to have been attacked by illegal builders the last time they had visited the property, immediately i heard this i became uncomfortable, not just because i had seen some hard worn faces on the way in to the place but because i feared that running in any direction would not do me any favours. My survival instincts kicked in the funniest way; my slight frame became enlarged in my mind because i had widened my hands by my sides and walked as if there were medium sized balls under my armpits, this i figured amplified the effects of my inflated chest which i had done by sucking in as much air as i could. i figure i could discourage a few aggressive attackers who believed in sizing up the opposition (though my somewhat childish face didn't do me much favours).

Each turn on the dirt paths we took had me braced for a rather directionless sprint, experience in hostile areas made me stare straight into the eyes of any onlooker we encountered but it just so happened most of the people i came across were either toddlers who were half naked or semi obese women who sat in front of their stalls selling small biscuits and soaps.. the stares i got back in return were either repraochful or curious ones. meanwhile the consultants who had raised my terror alert from green right up to red kept on repeating a paricular statment while failing to hide their apprehensions, they kept saying ;" in fact if you see the amount of people that came out to fight us ehn". it was around the 43rd time they mentioned it that i realized i wasn't the only one who was feeling insecure so i relaxed a bit knowing i wasn't the only one who was anticipating one form of ambush or the other. We spent about 45 mins on this particular property though by the 30th minute i was beginning to suspect my purpose for this trip.

We left Maraba and began our journey to another property closer to town and that made me more relaxed and tired after the animalisitic attempts at potraying an alfa male in, so i dosed off a bit on the way to the next property and started dreaming of gallops and dirt roads, it seemed as if that was the only way i could stay asleep since the route had a lot of bumps and port holes. from this point on we encountered no more problems that required me to utilize my alfa male dominance. I just relaxed and took in all i saw. i hope NNPC don't have more properties located in similar areas cause it seems the rest of my group didn't even notice anything i did.... since no one offered me lunch.

Difficult Me....

2009-04-15T03:09:00.000-07:00

I'm a conundrum i must confess, a difficult one at that. i'd like to say first off that no one should take this with any sense of humour at all because i'm serious here...... i see things in a different perspective from other human beings (seriously!!). even my own siblings give me the beaten look just after they make the statement; "we just dey manage you, na so God make you"... it might seem a joke each time they say it but honestly i know its the serious truth.
most times my frequent out bursts are a result of impatience and a lack of tolerance towards others, yet i'm the most tolorated brat living in my side of town(i can't stop laughing).
but there was atime when i was much worse, flying into fits of rage without thinking and always throwing up tantrums whenever i didn't get my way, but i soon grew up, suprisingly it was sooner than others expected but it did happen and now i'm calmer to an extent, yet those episodes still spring up from time to time; that's why i thought of the name Griffin. any one who's read quite a good number of mythology or fairytales would have heardof the animal, having the head of an eagle and the body of a lion, it hardly trusts anyone and has a short temper meaning it easily feels threatened.
in contrast i have siblings who appear to be the direct opposits of what i am, out of the four of them; my older brother and second younger sister have this ability to attract just about anybody, they're endearing and carefree loving people while my immediate younger sister posseses an undescribable and assuring personality that makes you feel safe and warm. the youngest on the other hand is a bit similar to me but can get away with almost anything. infact she has the same mannerisms as me save for a disarmig smile that tears away all defences or forms of aggression. so it is within this midst of people like this that i find myself, helplessly the odd one out. people have tried everything from teasing to informal counseling but nothing seems to have worked, their efforts no doubt had me thinking, so i tried changing somethings about me, but it soon mademe realized something; it wasn't that i was so difficult, i was just being me and its hard for me to change because these are the things that make me "Teni", stopping those things would be like character assasination, realizing this made me even prouder. so each morning i sayto myself; you are special because peop-le don't see things the way you see them. hopefully they'll come around(lol). hope you guys come around soon.

Is this for real?

2009-04-09T06:09:00.000-07:00

i'm asking myself if this is for real cause i never thought i'd ever do this, i've always loved writing don't get me wrong, i just never thought i'd take it this seriously so soon. well for those of you who get to read this for the first time, just assume the name is Griffin. i grew up in lagos and and have lived in the capital city for the past 4 years (or is it 5), things have turned out better than i expected so far, i've made new friends and had new experiences. I'll leave you guys to judge for your selves what kind of person i am, but i must warn you not to expect too much from me, i thrive on going out and interacting and lately i've not being doing much of that (don't know why), maybe its because i'm a bit short on cash at the moment. i'd love to tell you alot about life here in abuja and other stuff, but don't get scared if i go all philosophical because i tend to do that sometimes
it still feels sureal if you ask me. i never though i'd be starting a blog.

Bird's Eye View with Griffin

A Guide to Clubbing for Geeks (I think)...

********ONE NIGHT CHAPTER 2 part 2*************

Why "ONE NIGHT" stopped..

Writing a letter.......

Thursday Night Lights???

*ONE NIGHT*

*ONE NIGHT*

Introduction to *ONE NIGHT*

The truth will not be blogged today

*insert name*

Random... sue me!

A series of Unfortunate/ Fortunate events... you tell me...

Remembering Her...

The 'R' Word.

Who Send Me message???

The Judas Effect.

So Far....

The End had been nigh...

My Dynamics

Swiss Beatz isn't gonna be here....

Ungrateful Rant

Re- Up.. Smiley style..

Noise from Hell

Re- up

Smiley

Incomplete......

Thank God Its First Friday

My Dear

I neeed to make some money!!!

Easter Tweets...

How much do you want it.......

I AM LEGEND

Church for Yar' adua

Effortless

For Ayinke

To write or not to write....

Snitching.

Master, Master???

Is this a rant???

Mr. President and Mr. Terrorist....

New Year Jingles......

Morning!

Grinding Steel

Attachments

FACEBOOK OR face value?

Hhhhmmmm.....Growing up......

Purpose.....

What is This Feeling???

The story I love...

Sensitive???

Kagashi Bunshin!!!

CALLING ALL EGGS: THE EAGLE HAS LEFT THE NEST

Pure Limbo

The end of My service...

MJ's gone and so is STep's Dad.....

Enter Freeze, a wedding full of beauties

Peaches and Steam

The withdrawals of Dust and Corruption....(A meaningless title.)

Mind Bending ..

My 'fall over'

Weekend score card vs Democracy day score card

My Vampire like heart ache...

I'm trying to learn cricket

The Sleazy Lounge beats the Weekend Routine...

Is it Goodbye Peaches? but i can't sing!!!

Health Seminars make me sick..

My Weekend and Sam....

Glory Glory !! And a wig..

May Day Weekend round up

lies and betrayals.....

Lap dances???......oh yeah.....

Na wah for blogging oh!!!!

Fuel Queues make me sick

Property Inspection???

Difficult Me....

Is this for real?

ONE NIGHT CHAPTER 2 part 2*****

ONE NIGHT

ONE NIGHT

Introduction to ONE NIGHT

insert name