i've come again oh, like my friends say; "i no dey hear word at all... but WTF! why should i ever deprive myself of all the joys of feeling what could possibly be love. And so? what if I knew from the very beginning that it was bound to end before it ever began. I don't give a SHIT what other people think,I'm glad i experienced it all even if at the end of the day it hurts so bad right now. I accepted this reality long ago and like academics; there's always a practical as there is the theoretical....
I'm really pissed off though, guess its as a result of getting used to always getting my way. now i'm presented with a whole new proposal. You can't have it all, even if you've got so much invested in it.
Hmmmpppphhh!!!
I'm not sure if this is a rant guys, my guts are dying to spill out everything in them but i can't do that. the sure thing for me is that i'm gonna have a Topsy turvy emotional roller coaster for the next couple of months definitely.
One side effect to this whole thing is I've become morally bankrupt (with respect to emotions that is).
When you fall in love and you're so sure that it is love.... the feeling is overwhelming... undeniable and sometimes it would definitely physically affect you. experiencing that feeling along with the harsh realities that barring a a mighty intervention from God almighty, we were not meant to be together. I guess that's what's still keeping me sane as of now. Knowing that this was going to happen finally.
I know i have not lost someone, instead someone has lost me so i don't intend to go about sulking and cursing the world that i have been dealt an unfair blow...oh gosh It hurts.....
then there's the other ladies, i don't know why it's happening at such a time but i think its for the greater good. ladies please take it easy...lmao... yeah right, i just think what's happening to me is a good thing though.
Love, pain, Fun.... its all good guys....I'll be fine.
Tinkerbell ,makes me sad also. I told you guys there might and there might not be a story, well there's a story alright, but I don't think its mine to share right now.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Mr. President and Mr. Terrorist....
A nation without a Leader, a nation that has been blacklisted because of the act of one single Nigerian. Nigeria!!! a failed state is what i'm close to calling us.
I think i've become really soft these days. Not really putting my foot down or being more outspoken. I guess that's because i'm trying to stay away from the frustrating world of ineffective government we Nigerians have found ourselves and have become comfortable in.
A country where Umar Yar' a dua has gone missing for more almost two months. It wouldn't be a big deal if he were not our very own President.
I've heard a lot about African Presidents being irresponsible, ineffective and Thieves but Yar' a dua's tenure has seen leadership of Nigeria sink to a whole new all time low. Forget about the whole amnesty thing, his first tenure has been an utter disaster. Whether he comes back in one piece or in a coffin he's practised the highest form of irresponsibility by any leader in Nigeria's history.
In my paranoid mind i'm sitting at my desk thinking about what could be much more worse than the state we currently are now. Yet there are still lower states to sink to trust me.
The Federal cabinet has become like a class without a teacher or a Class captain; all i hear is ; "vice- president orders ministers not to travel", then after that; "Ministers still embark on vacation trips despite orders from VP not to do otherwise"
It tells you the kind of Powers the VP holds. I mean the country finds it hard to look at the man as a leader since the elected one is MIA. If the dude even decides to do something now, it'll definitely be hard for him to be accepted because of how long he's taken to deliberate on taking necessary steps.
Then there's the Mutallab debacle, a young man from a rich family who decides that the next big step for him to take in his life will be his last and decides to blow up an American airline filled up with passengers. SHIT!!!
I could barely get any sleep the night i heard the news cause something kept telling me it wasn't going to be good. Then the news hit me. THE DUDE WAS NIGERIAN. how annoying could the holidays become; no petrol, mad working hours during the holidays, an MIA president, then this kid pulls this off. we've only just begun to see the repercussions.
Its difficult for me to smile when I think about these two situations, the kid would definitely be spending the rest of his life in some federal maximum security prison while the rest of his family become stigmatized and sometimes scorned.
In the case of Our missing president, its still a mystery,his aids or family are not forthcoming with details on his condition, which has left room for the tireless rumor peddling to continue.
Nigeria has seen her stock fall in the international scene for the past two and a half years but the Mutallab incident surely dealt us one of the heaviest body blows ever.
Being Blacklisted by a country like America would mean other Western states would follow suit shortly. And Yar' a dua is no where to be found to give instructions on how to save this situation....hmmmmmm.....
While what is left of this government is busy trying to hide the where abouts of their Oga what are we the masses doing about this situation? I don't want to believe Nigerians has become so accustomed to the ineptitude of their leaders that we wouldn't bother to raise their voices against this nonsense.... I don't think now is a time for us to let Interest groups with either axes to grind or lopsided interests to hijack this opportunity to speak against things like this.
Naija stand up oh.... i no go talk am pass this one... I heard there's going to be a march from the unity fountain to The National Assembly.... what will you be doing on that day? i sure wanna be there.
I think i've become really soft these days. Not really putting my foot down or being more outspoken. I guess that's because i'm trying to stay away from the frustrating world of ineffective government we Nigerians have found ourselves and have become comfortable in.
A country where Umar Yar' a dua has gone missing for more almost two months. It wouldn't be a big deal if he were not our very own President.
I've heard a lot about African Presidents being irresponsible, ineffective and Thieves but Yar' a dua's tenure has seen leadership of Nigeria sink to a whole new all time low. Forget about the whole amnesty thing, his first tenure has been an utter disaster. Whether he comes back in one piece or in a coffin he's practised the highest form of irresponsibility by any leader in Nigeria's history.
In my paranoid mind i'm sitting at my desk thinking about what could be much more worse than the state we currently are now. Yet there are still lower states to sink to trust me.
The Federal cabinet has become like a class without a teacher or a Class captain; all i hear is ; "vice- president orders ministers not to travel", then after that; "Ministers still embark on vacation trips despite orders from VP not to do otherwise"
It tells you the kind of Powers the VP holds. I mean the country finds it hard to look at the man as a leader since the elected one is MIA. If the dude even decides to do something now, it'll definitely be hard for him to be accepted because of how long he's taken to deliberate on taking necessary steps.
Then there's the Mutallab debacle, a young man from a rich family who decides that the next big step for him to take in his life will be his last and decides to blow up an American airline filled up with passengers. SHIT!!!
I could barely get any sleep the night i heard the news cause something kept telling me it wasn't going to be good. Then the news hit me. THE DUDE WAS NIGERIAN. how annoying could the holidays become; no petrol, mad working hours during the holidays, an MIA president, then this kid pulls this off. we've only just begun to see the repercussions.
Its difficult for me to smile when I think about these two situations, the kid would definitely be spending the rest of his life in some federal maximum security prison while the rest of his family become stigmatized and sometimes scorned.
In the case of Our missing president, its still a mystery,his aids or family are not forthcoming with details on his condition, which has left room for the tireless rumor peddling to continue.
Nigeria has seen her stock fall in the international scene for the past two and a half years but the Mutallab incident surely dealt us one of the heaviest body blows ever.
Being Blacklisted by a country like America would mean other Western states would follow suit shortly. And Yar' a dua is no where to be found to give instructions on how to save this situation....hmmmmmm.....
While what is left of this government is busy trying to hide the where abouts of their Oga what are we the masses doing about this situation? I don't want to believe Nigerians has become so accustomed to the ineptitude of their leaders that we wouldn't bother to raise their voices against this nonsense.... I don't think now is a time for us to let Interest groups with either axes to grind or lopsided interests to hijack this opportunity to speak against things like this.
Naija stand up oh.... i no go talk am pass this one... I heard there's going to be a march from the unity fountain to The National Assembly.... what will you be doing on that day? i sure wanna be there.
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Year Jingles......
2010 doesn't feel different.everything doesn't feel 2010 at all, its more like i just woke up and knowing that it's Friday. Yet all the ordinance and explosive like fire works reminded me there was something to celebrate....but what exactly? I worked late on new years eve and made it to church just 15 minutes to midnight. Good thing was i crossed over with my brother and best friend, we said prayers of thanks giving together and boy were there alot of thing to be thankful about.
WOW! a decade has gone by folks since we said good bye to the Ninties and here we are in a new one looking forward to what the future holds for each one of us.
Most important on my mind as i thought about 2010 was where i wanted to find myself by the time we would b ushering in 2011... what exactly did i want and where exactly did i want to be?
My own House, a woman i was i could call my partner and friend. As i thought about these things i began to feel the need for them, I mean i was beginning to feel like an alien in Chairman's house already... gradually becoming a passing shadow in a place i used to call home.
how drastically things changed, but a sure fact for a long time was that they definitely were going to.
Its not clear cut, precise, defined or organized, all i know is that i have to be where i want to be and have what i really need in 2010...
Then there's the part where the unexpected could happen. As part of celebrating the entrance into the new year, i was hanging out at Dub-C with the boys when out of no where i see Tinker bell sitting directly opposite me.
The first question that came to mind was; Where on earth had she been hiding, knowing how frequently i had double checked every petite, light skinned lady who came my way. I had expected her to have kids by now knowing that the main reasons why she disappeared was that she was to be married off. Now there she was sitting there opposite me...in a place i barely expected to run into her...
As expected we saw each other, I'm not going to start talking about this story until i know for sure its a story... then I'll give you guys the dish... till then, PEACE...
WOW! a decade has gone by folks since we said good bye to the Ninties and here we are in a new one looking forward to what the future holds for each one of us.
Most important on my mind as i thought about 2010 was where i wanted to find myself by the time we would b ushering in 2011... what exactly did i want and where exactly did i want to be?
My own House, a woman i was i could call my partner and friend. As i thought about these things i began to feel the need for them, I mean i was beginning to feel like an alien in Chairman's house already... gradually becoming a passing shadow in a place i used to call home.
how drastically things changed, but a sure fact for a long time was that they definitely were going to.
Its not clear cut, precise, defined or organized, all i know is that i have to be where i want to be and have what i really need in 2010...
Then there's the part where the unexpected could happen. As part of celebrating the entrance into the new year, i was hanging out at Dub-C with the boys when out of no where i see Tinker bell sitting directly opposite me.
The first question that came to mind was; Where on earth had she been hiding, knowing how frequently i had double checked every petite, light skinned lady who came my way. I had expected her to have kids by now knowing that the main reasons why she disappeared was that she was to be married off. Now there she was sitting there opposite me...in a place i barely expected to run into her...
As expected we saw each other, I'm not going to start talking about this story until i know for sure its a story... then I'll give you guys the dish... till then, PEACE...
Monday, December 14, 2009
Morning!
i always like to say good morning.... like i really mean it. I like to say "good morning" like i really mean it. It makes me connect with every one i say it to. So at the end of the day, i feel like I've made a connection with the world.... Its sounds like Hippie stuff don't it? lolol... i ain't a hippie though...
Work is something else.In my four months of work, i have not had a day i could describe as rudimentary or typical. Its been a whole different ball game every day.
The Christmas season; busy,no break and a whole lot of "Good mornings".....
Then i think about reflecting on 2009. A year that has typically been eventful, unforgettable (it definitely has been if you're me). I started writing this post two weeks ago but I've only had time to sit at my system just today. in 2009 I've changed from an almost 24 hour/ all weekend party animal to a 'i barely have a social life' kinda guy. and the creepy thing about it is, these two opposites basically have had six month life spans.
WHAT HAPPENED???
now 2010 beckons so glaringly and I'm forced to take sometime to think about what i really want to achieve in this new year; in the short term, i want two learn two new things: French and Swimming. yes, as embarrassing as it is, i still don't know how to swim all that well.
then french, i just love the language even though i have no idea of what they talk about more than half the time.
On the long term I'm thinking alot about being more and more on my own. I'm becoming more and more distant from my family and its beginning to tell on me. Not like i like it, but i have that feeling that in order for me to really appreciate them, i need to learn to survive by myself.
some of you guys already have a clear cut and defined plan for 2010 while some of you are like me, just making a few plans while you improvise as things come by.
I was supposed to turn in a letter to Santa but that never happened because of work.... so you could all say i had a bah- humbug kinda Christmas.
Happy new year folks! see you in 2010....
Work is something else.In my four months of work, i have not had a day i could describe as rudimentary or typical. Its been a whole different ball game every day.
The Christmas season; busy,no break and a whole lot of "Good mornings".....
Then i think about reflecting on 2009. A year that has typically been eventful, unforgettable (it definitely has been if you're me). I started writing this post two weeks ago but I've only had time to sit at my system just today. in 2009 I've changed from an almost 24 hour/ all weekend party animal to a 'i barely have a social life' kinda guy. and the creepy thing about it is, these two opposites basically have had six month life spans.
WHAT HAPPENED???
now 2010 beckons so glaringly and I'm forced to take sometime to think about what i really want to achieve in this new year; in the short term, i want two learn two new things: French and Swimming. yes, as embarrassing as it is, i still don't know how to swim all that well.
then french, i just love the language even though i have no idea of what they talk about more than half the time.
On the long term I'm thinking alot about being more and more on my own. I'm becoming more and more distant from my family and its beginning to tell on me. Not like i like it, but i have that feeling that in order for me to really appreciate them, i need to learn to survive by myself.
some of you guys already have a clear cut and defined plan for 2010 while some of you are like me, just making a few plans while you improvise as things come by.
I was supposed to turn in a letter to Santa but that never happened because of work.... so you could all say i had a bah- humbug kinda Christmas.
Happy new year folks! see you in 2010....
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Grinding Steel
I have abandoned you my dear Blog, to a life of Beeish Buzz (Doubt if that's right).
I have been enslaved by work, and other dramas. Leaving you my dear loyal blog to wallow in loneliness.
Will you forgive me. Will you take this heart felt words and trust me that soon i shall return. I have forced excuses at your page hoping you accept them for i have no other thing to say to you, explaining how i could be this irresponsible. What have i done?
Who will plead on my behalf oh Blog? Who will tell you how much i have missed you, that the things i left you for are nothing compared to the vast whiteness of you Word Sheet that allow me to express myself without censorship?
I truly am sorry.
I have been stung by Cupids arrow, Possessed by Thor's Hammer and have sought out a life in a world that even though real doesn't deserve to be permanently lived in everyday of one's life. When i have the shelter of you page to express and deliberate.
What sort of apple have i tasted that would make me see this world in a new light and abandon you oh blog.
I am on my palms, typing tirelessly at they keyboard, begging that you receive this offering of my words to pacify you. I honestly have nothing else for if you could receive flowers i would send you a 100 dozens roses.
My betrayal tastes like that of Judas 30 pieces of silver.
What have i done you might wonder oh blog?
I have loved, I have worked, but nothing compares to the satisfaction you have poured out upon me. My heart has become something geologically undefined... formed and crushed continually in chronological estimates that i feel as if its continuous deformation and reconstruction has created steel and hence if this breaking continues, shall fate grind steel?
shall fate take up this steel heart which still miraculously beats and continue to grind and tear and dismember?
Who shall love a heart as deformed as this oh blog... I look at your whitish splendor and i pour out every thing within this steel container. Its insides are still soft though, beating away and pounding.
Work has stolen my soul. work has taken me away from my family and friends. caged me in a world that i still don't recognize....
I know you'll always have me back oh blog, from the first moment i laid eyes on you i knew you were going to be with me till the end.
bear with me Blog... I shall return, not as frequent as you might hope, but i shall always think of you. returning to you, for only you give me this succor.
I have been enslaved by work, and other dramas. Leaving you my dear loyal blog to wallow in loneliness.
Will you forgive me. Will you take this heart felt words and trust me that soon i shall return. I have forced excuses at your page hoping you accept them for i have no other thing to say to you, explaining how i could be this irresponsible. What have i done?
Who will plead on my behalf oh Blog? Who will tell you how much i have missed you, that the things i left you for are nothing compared to the vast whiteness of you Word Sheet that allow me to express myself without censorship?
I truly am sorry.
I have been stung by Cupids arrow, Possessed by Thor's Hammer and have sought out a life in a world that even though real doesn't deserve to be permanently lived in everyday of one's life. When i have the shelter of you page to express and deliberate.
What sort of apple have i tasted that would make me see this world in a new light and abandon you oh blog.
I am on my palms, typing tirelessly at they keyboard, begging that you receive this offering of my words to pacify you. I honestly have nothing else for if you could receive flowers i would send you a 100 dozens roses.
My betrayal tastes like that of Judas 30 pieces of silver.
What have i done you might wonder oh blog?
I have loved, I have worked, but nothing compares to the satisfaction you have poured out upon me. My heart has become something geologically undefined... formed and crushed continually in chronological estimates that i feel as if its continuous deformation and reconstruction has created steel and hence if this breaking continues, shall fate grind steel?
shall fate take up this steel heart which still miraculously beats and continue to grind and tear and dismember?
Who shall love a heart as deformed as this oh blog... I look at your whitish splendor and i pour out every thing within this steel container. Its insides are still soft though, beating away and pounding.
Work has stolen my soul. work has taken me away from my family and friends. caged me in a world that i still don't recognize....
I know you'll always have me back oh blog, from the first moment i laid eyes on you i knew you were going to be with me till the end.
bear with me Blog... I shall return, not as frequent as you might hope, but i shall always think of you. returning to you, for only you give me this succor.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Attachments
I have a confession to make, the reason i'm writing this post is because i'm trying to stop myself from going into one of my 'i'm pouring out my emotions' blog posts.
I've been going through one of the most painful emotional roller coasters ever and i don't know when it's gonna end. All have been using to block it out is work. But right now, i'm too less busy, and the thoughts are struggling to take up a front seat in my mind's theater....in fact they're gunning for the stage.
I'm helpless, wondering why I can't be cold and calculating, a mean lying philanderer... why!
Instead its me, emotionally vunerable dopey eyed mugun.... how could i have been so stupid?
There i go, i'm saying i don't want to write about something but i've used more than a paragraph already.... I pity myslef.
I have several items that have been in my possesion for quite sometime, these items have come to mean so much to me and despite the teling of time upon them i find it so hard to replace them. Just two items oh... not like they're plenty.
A wallet and a Bible.
THE BIBLE; It was my first visit to Abuja, Chairman was going on one of his usual long business trips and we kids were on our long break. It seemed as if he didn't want to leave us alone this time since it was becoming custom for us to only see him during his short trips to Lagos when he would spend a week or two. These periods would mainy comprise of house inspections and individual assesments by him.
We never really looked forward to these visits but there was nothing we could do.
Despite all this, he never failed to tell us a thing about Abuja, how impressive the town was and how frequently he met with a few highly placed government officials.
So even if it meant spending the entire long break with Chairman, we were presented with a golden oportunity, 'going to ABuja'. This was in the month of September 1997. I was still an impressionable teenager then. quiet and an introvert at most times.Any time i spoke to chairman it was in mumbling whispers..he barely heard what i said.
On the day of the trip we got to the airport with our luggage and checked in (i no go lie na the first time wey i enter plane be that). I was oozing with excitment and it even doubled when I found Chairman ushering us into the VIP departure lounge. He encouraged us to look around while he chatted to some guy who looked pretty important. I walked over to the book store and immediatley started searching for my favorite print; Comics. I was dissapointed to barely find one, soon enough while i kept on searching the shelves with my eyes, my siblings joined me then soon after, Chairman. He pulled out his wallet and entered the Book store pointing out two Bibles (NIV). I still can't remember what he bought for Lil mama.
He took us over to a long sofa in the same VIP lounge and sat us down.One by one he took each Bible and scribbled our names on the first pages, along with dates. I just sat there and stared at him.
That was 12 years ago, i still have that same Bible till this day. read it almost every morning and travel every where with it. Its one of the first things to go into my traveling bag anytime I leave town.
It has become worn out and developed dog ears but anytime i think of changing it i give it an extra look, then open the front page. Before I know it, all sentiment come flooding back in and I hae a new determination to hold on to it much longer.
I don't know, maybe i'll hold on to it and make it become a family heirloom, passed down from father to son....lol...
THE WALLET:
I had just finished secondary school and while we passed the time following Mum to her office on the island, we never really earned any money. All we looked forward to was lunch time; it was our wave of the moment delicacy at that time "Ewa Agoin"....
Myself and Mr. Capable had become so addicted to the delicacy that Mum had to have the lady she bought it from make a big bowl of the special stew, which she store in the deep freezer at home. When that happened, we had no reason to folow her to her office anymore.
But on one particular day she still hauled us off to work. I soon became bored so I began to develop a kneen curiosity towards buses and their routes. I knew Mum wouldn't allow me just run off on my own so i started grumbling just after lunch that i wanted to go home. within an hour , when she had had enough of my contorted and unevenly frowned face she finally gave in. Immediately i suggested to her that we took the bus. Mr. Capable gave me a terrified look (Buttie) but i ignored him. She looked at me with a little suspicion then took out some money from her hand bag. Immediatley Mr. Capable brought out his wallet, brandishing it for all to see that he had one. I Immediatley recognized it as one of the many wallets that Chairman had used for a short Period of time before discarding it for its inadequacy.
My excitment soon died and was replaced by a mixture of envy and sadness. Mum asked me why i looked soo down, i then went ahead to tell her that Unlike my brother, i had no wallet (no be se i get money that time oh). she then urged us to head home.
Later that evening, while we were all home, Mum called me to her room and reached into her bag. She brought out a leather black wallet,it was still in a nylon wrap. Immediatley i saw it, i had a big smile on my face. "hmmmmm....now we both have wallets"... i thought to myself.
She handed it to me 10 years ago and till this day i never leave the house with out it. Its become torn and battered but i find it hard to let go. The treads are hanging out but all I have to do is take a second look at it and i'm holding tighter to it.
will I ever let them go?
I no know oh... They've become a part of me, sorta....
I've been going through one of the most painful emotional roller coasters ever and i don't know when it's gonna end. All have been using to block it out is work. But right now, i'm too less busy, and the thoughts are struggling to take up a front seat in my mind's theater....in fact they're gunning for the stage.
I'm helpless, wondering why I can't be cold and calculating, a mean lying philanderer... why!
Instead its me, emotionally vunerable dopey eyed mugun.... how could i have been so stupid?
There i go, i'm saying i don't want to write about something but i've used more than a paragraph already.... I pity myslef.
I have several items that have been in my possesion for quite sometime, these items have come to mean so much to me and despite the teling of time upon them i find it so hard to replace them. Just two items oh... not like they're plenty.
A wallet and a Bible.
THE BIBLE; It was my first visit to Abuja, Chairman was going on one of his usual long business trips and we kids were on our long break. It seemed as if he didn't want to leave us alone this time since it was becoming custom for us to only see him during his short trips to Lagos when he would spend a week or two. These periods would mainy comprise of house inspections and individual assesments by him.
We never really looked forward to these visits but there was nothing we could do.
Despite all this, he never failed to tell us a thing about Abuja, how impressive the town was and how frequently he met with a few highly placed government officials.
So even if it meant spending the entire long break with Chairman, we were presented with a golden oportunity, 'going to ABuja'. This was in the month of September 1997. I was still an impressionable teenager then. quiet and an introvert at most times.Any time i spoke to chairman it was in mumbling whispers..he barely heard what i said.
On the day of the trip we got to the airport with our luggage and checked in (i no go lie na the first time wey i enter plane be that). I was oozing with excitment and it even doubled when I found Chairman ushering us into the VIP departure lounge. He encouraged us to look around while he chatted to some guy who looked pretty important. I walked over to the book store and immediatley started searching for my favorite print; Comics. I was dissapointed to barely find one, soon enough while i kept on searching the shelves with my eyes, my siblings joined me then soon after, Chairman. He pulled out his wallet and entered the Book store pointing out two Bibles (NIV). I still can't remember what he bought for Lil mama.
He took us over to a long sofa in the same VIP lounge and sat us down.One by one he took each Bible and scribbled our names on the first pages, along with dates. I just sat there and stared at him.
That was 12 years ago, i still have that same Bible till this day. read it almost every morning and travel every where with it. Its one of the first things to go into my traveling bag anytime I leave town.
It has become worn out and developed dog ears but anytime i think of changing it i give it an extra look, then open the front page. Before I know it, all sentiment come flooding back in and I hae a new determination to hold on to it much longer.
I don't know, maybe i'll hold on to it and make it become a family heirloom, passed down from father to son....lol...
THE WALLET:
I had just finished secondary school and while we passed the time following Mum to her office on the island, we never really earned any money. All we looked forward to was lunch time; it was our wave of the moment delicacy at that time "Ewa Agoin"....
Myself and Mr. Capable had become so addicted to the delicacy that Mum had to have the lady she bought it from make a big bowl of the special stew, which she store in the deep freezer at home. When that happened, we had no reason to folow her to her office anymore.
But on one particular day she still hauled us off to work. I soon became bored so I began to develop a kneen curiosity towards buses and their routes. I knew Mum wouldn't allow me just run off on my own so i started grumbling just after lunch that i wanted to go home. within an hour , when she had had enough of my contorted and unevenly frowned face she finally gave in. Immediately i suggested to her that we took the bus. Mr. Capable gave me a terrified look (Buttie) but i ignored him. She looked at me with a little suspicion then took out some money from her hand bag. Immediatley Mr. Capable brought out his wallet, brandishing it for all to see that he had one. I Immediatley recognized it as one of the many wallets that Chairman had used for a short Period of time before discarding it for its inadequacy.
My excitment soon died and was replaced by a mixture of envy and sadness. Mum asked me why i looked soo down, i then went ahead to tell her that Unlike my brother, i had no wallet (no be se i get money that time oh). she then urged us to head home.
Later that evening, while we were all home, Mum called me to her room and reached into her bag. She brought out a leather black wallet,it was still in a nylon wrap. Immediatley i saw it, i had a big smile on my face. "hmmmmm....now we both have wallets"... i thought to myself.
She handed it to me 10 years ago and till this day i never leave the house with out it. Its become torn and battered but i find it hard to let go. The treads are hanging out but all I have to do is take a second look at it and i'm holding tighter to it.
will I ever let them go?
I no know oh... They've become a part of me, sorta....
Thursday, November 5, 2009
FACEBOOK OR face value?
Just a while ago i went back to when all my online writing started; my facebook notes and i realized how out detached i had become from it, scrolling through my friend's notes all i could see was copy and paste pieces and articles, jokes and post cards. I felt a bit guilty, wondering and blaming myself in a way that it was all my fault; maybe if i hadn't found blogspot i would still be putting up notes that i had tagged my friends in or something.
Meanwhile i just feel facebook isn't just it anymore, first people stay on facebook for so long that you begin to wonder if they really do have real lives, or they're just actually fictional characters, but you remember that they've got probably like 400 friends or more.
I must confess i was two steps away from that point, when most of what i did was facebook, then more facebook.....and facebook.
I talked about everything that happened to me on facebook, maybe it was to get attention or it was just plain expression i don't know right now. But i feel I'm past that now..... i think.
Is facebook bad or has it just become accepted, why do peeps find it skin crawling to add their parents on facebook; well the answer to that question is a no brainer but i wonder why it all of a sudden seems like we're either living double lives or we're trying to live our lives for facebook.
May be we all should agree to define what facebook is all about, cause i don't trust those Harvard peeps at all. they just might have other plans that we all aren't aware of.
Maybe its just me being paranoid or something but i really don't like facebook all that much anymore.
What do you guys think? Does the 'it helps in networking' still hold that much water?
Meanwhile i just feel facebook isn't just it anymore, first people stay on facebook for so long that you begin to wonder if they really do have real lives, or they're just actually fictional characters, but you remember that they've got probably like 400 friends or more.
I must confess i was two steps away from that point, when most of what i did was facebook, then more facebook.....and facebook.
If we all are too far hooked on facebook to make any sense of what I'm saying then t would most likely seem like I'm just ranting. Am I?
You decide, you make up your mind how far the down the rabbit hole we've all gone.
I talked about everything that happened to me on facebook, maybe it was to get attention or it was just plain expression i don't know right now. But i feel I'm past that now..... i think.
Is facebook bad or has it just become accepted, why do peeps find it skin crawling to add their parents on facebook; well the answer to that question is a no brainer but i wonder why it all of a sudden seems like we're either living double lives or we're trying to live our lives for facebook.
May be we all should agree to define what facebook is all about, cause i don't trust those Harvard peeps at all. they just might have other plans that we all aren't aware of.
Maybe its just me being paranoid or something but i really don't like facebook all that much anymore.
What do you guys think? Does the 'it helps in networking' still hold that much water?
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