Hello Blogville!!! its been a while i know.
Twitter stole me away and Facebook is seeking a divorce, but you!
in your patience and silence i still hear you calling me, drawing me back to you.
our connection is not like any of the other two, yours and mine is truly different, as you permit me a different kind of freedom. My expressions on twitter are mostly short and almost spasmic. Facebook feels more like a junket; either you want to show off or make a fool of yourself.
Even if you could allow me do both, the regard i have for you ensures i never do such a thing, instead it is an outpouring at most times of the deep thoughts within the valley of my soul.
So many times when i have felt as if a listening ear was never around, or i felt something needed to be said, no matter how hurriedly or boring it might be, i have always found your white screens comforting. (i might not have written something so deep or divulged many secrets).
its been over two months since the invasion of the Blackberry into my life and it hasn't gotten any better. it has become an appendage i can barely do without, I'm sure, pretty soon I'll be accessing you from the little gizmo.
one way or another i still strive to become a better person yet i want more like every one else.
my realization that my degree of self- centredness is disturbing worries me, urging me to admit to a really deep seated issue i am yet to address.
Blogville, work has had its fair share of ups and downs. "its a job" is what I keep telling myself, and I've come to learn a lot from those that surround me.
But the politics is scary, gossip and back biting makes me worry. what are the words used when i become the topic of discussion.... i have no false ideas that i am a saint.
i just hope my case is not bad enough to confine me to the silence of withheld advice.
I just want to be alone these days... in as much as i miss my boys: SBB, Mystery, Phoenix and Mr. Capable i still crave that solitude, being lost in thought even if it were because of the trivial, because my mind is my true home.
it paints funny pictures sometimes but it never hides the real details. And it is with this mind i hope i make a firm decision that could ultimately save me.
its 12:26 past midnight and I'm still at the office.
I'm tired and my body aches so bad. Blogville i wish i could stay longer tonight, but I'll get back to you as soon as i can. just know i still think about you a lot.... well not as much as i think about her though..(lol).