Tuesday, June 30, 2009

MJ's gone and so is STep's Dad.....

"Micheal Jackson is dead!"
i couldn't believe what i was seeing on the TV monitor that night at Play. wacko jacko as the media named him had died of a cardiac arrest after being rushed to the hospital in los angles when he was found not breathing. Many have written comments about the whole misfortune ; a lot of tributes and a few bad comments but no one can ever take away what this man brought to the world in form of his songs and entertainment quality.

his charitable works were numerous; from songs such as heal the world to earth song, MJ always made sure he stayed in reckoning with what ever could continue to give him relevance. over a period spanning almost 4 decades he was always there in the spotlight.

the moonwalk, the thriller video and Bad, all that made MJ one of the easiest reference points of several generations.

it is there fore right to say that this talented figure will surely be missed and could as well be classified as a true legend when you add all the above listed with the fact that he was the unrivaled 'king of Pop.'

before you all start to think that I'm one MJ fanatic who blindly followed him through all the negatives, well i want to make it clear at this point that i am not too fund of him as a person.

i just cannot accept the various things he did to himself as well as reportedly others even if he had a weird childhood. All the child molestation accusations and skin color change as well as the nose job really put me off and i will not deny i took opportunities to throw snide remarks as well as make bad jokes about his life choices.

but the truth is Mj did far more good than he did evil, even if he rubbed some people off the wrong way, his works definatley shook all of us the right way. fusing R & B with rock and so on, creating break through videos and most significantly breaking the monopoly of Rock videos on MTV.

right here in Naija his works were an inspiration to early time artists and it also encouraged others to go in new directions for want of pushing the envelope.

like i told another facebooker after hearing the news; 'its because of MJ you can shake your head to a song like gongwo aso'.

meanwhile this post was supposed to be about someone else's death rather than MJ's . A dear friend of mine lost her Dad a few weeks ago and I've been tortured by guilt because I had promised myself that i would be there for her in her time of need, even if i had hoped that it wouldn't come soon. Step was my old flame when i lost my mum a few years back and she stood by me while i went through a whole lot of motions at the time. I saw myself drowning in anger and alcohol but no one could really help me deal with the loss. But she stood by me as long as she could. It really helped me pull through at the time. She now works in Lagos while 'm here in Abuja. i spoke to her several times and she seems to be doing well, but it just doesn't feel enough.

The guilt is killing me oh!

meanwhile, all this talk about the article by Reuben Abati is really generating a lot of comments back and forth, basically it seems that there are three camps; the quiet and not angry ones, the upset and vocal ones and the angry and down right insultive ones. i think i belong to the second camp because i feel dissapointed in the article, but as 'Speech Girl' said, every one has opinions so he was just expressing his. its just too bad that someone like him will see alot of things wrong rather than right with what our generation has to offer. Maybe i'll just buy him a Wande Coal and SHank CD then hope and pray he has a change of heart when he realizes the way he moves to their music.
sorry for taking too long in updating peeps...... i'm gonna be leaving my present place of work cause i'm through with service, so it might take a while before my next post. trust me though, i won't be gone for too long.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Enter Freeze, a wedding full of beauties

I feel dizzy and unwell. No, this time it’s not from too much partying or overdrinking or a hang over. At all, like I said in my previous post, I’m seriously cutting down on all that, besides, I’m about to end NYSC so its going be down to serious life issues any moment from now.

I’ve got a seriously annoying cough and I’m filled with enough cough mixtures I’m beginning to suspect I’m high. I had two table spoons of Actifed down my throat before 8:00 Am yesterday and soon enough I was so sleepy, I found it difficult crossing the road. I just ran into Yeti’s Office and practically slept through the most productive part of the day.

And about the previous post; I know a lot of you guys who read it were wondering what my talk was all about, don’t worry.

I’ve been focused on trying to complete Wole Soyinka’s :’The Man Died’ so I totally got immersed in it and by the time I was typing the said post I found myself a bit too connected to his writings hence the post as a result of that said Connection.

I have to confess that the early part of my weekend was rather forgettable save for the appearance of a friend I thought long lost. I met Freeze about two years ago or so, when I used to hang out mainly at Mystery’s crib. We’d all go down the local corner stall and have a smoke and stuff but all of a sudden he just disappeared completely and no one heard from him. Then all of a sudden he calls me up and tells me to meet up with him at a local beer parlor we used to go to (apparently he just got in from jand). I and the rest of the guys had stopped hanging out at the place for our own personal reasons but I had no choice but to oblige him.
I didn’t let him go that easily though, I first of all berated him for skipping town on us without leaving at least a contact e-mail address. After apologizing several times I agreed to meet up with him. Save for that part, my weekend was just below par, and then Saturday came. It was supposed to be a simple wedding, normal gathering of the couple’s loved ones and friends to celebrate their union. But no, it wasn’t that simple. I first got wind of the wedding earlier in the week, so I had all my friend’s have the date in mind. I mean if a former QC chick was getting hooked up in Abuja and she was just over 22 years of age, it meant most of her single friends and former class mates would definitely be there. Lo and behold, when Saturday came I wasn’t disappointed with what I saw.
‘As in ehn’ (Jennifa Biggs girlz English ohh people), the amount of beautiful women that were on display was almost paralyzing. Almost the entire crew was there save for SBB who had to work unfortunately. I was dumbfounded, yet excited, left right and center they walked and sashayed all around me, leaving me with much hope and aspiration. Me that had previously sworn not to go to weddings anymore was now having a good time at one.
I wasn’t looking bad myself though; my tall frame was well placed in my black suit looking all laid back with out a tie. So I’m proud to say I caught more than a few eyes staring back at me.

The music was mainly about the present day Naija artist’s expressions of love and all; from Bracket to Darey.

The wedding really was a lot of fun. Friends of the bride were dressed in black with touches of either green or blue and I have to admit that I stared at more than one with longing expectations of a ‘hi’ or ‘wassup’.

Another reason why I wanted to attend the wedding was because of ‘Neo’. The girl I had initially hoped to be the one (as her name aptly indicates).

We hadn’t seen each other for months and had barely spoken on the phone in an equal number of time. So when I walked up to her table with a smile pasted across my face, I was glad she seemed equally happy to see me. I hoped she could read from my eyes what I was trying to convey; which was I’m glad to see you’re doing fine’. We barely talked after that. She left sooner than I had hoped but then again, I’ll defiantly run into her again.

So at the end of the weekend, I started to think. If I was given the option of either going clubbing night during the weekend or attending weddings that had this much beautiful women every fortnight, the answer would be a no brainer. SO Abuja, I think you guys have to get ready for your own version of ‘wedding crashers’.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Peaches and Steam

I’ve always wondered why I repeat this cycle every week. Thursdays, through to Sunday. Then I wake up Monday morning with a Hiss and a moan, wondering why the weekend has come and gone so fast. At a point I thought it was for lack of a partner to spend time with, to occupy me with her warmth and intellect.

So I searched out for a partner, helplessly I’m fed up at this point. For it seems I have been a victim of my own undoing, either looking in the wrong places or seeking the wrong virtues. I’m spent and I can’t care less. I can have any woman I want but the question is ‘Is that really important right now?’

Me, a lover of fun and good things of life, not overly committed to many things but verse in arts and discourse. Will I define myself by who I’m with, at such a time as this?
I shake my head in disappointment. I am still susceptible to those lonely feelings though, craving warmth and companionship. For it is natural to. Yet it is something that vexes me because I have in moments of weakness such as the one I rise from right now let it be a means of defining me.

Now Thursdays are no more while my body says Friday is under consideration, yet it is glad that I agree with it for Saturday. So we a becoming one again. No more Play every Thursday, Dub-c is in probation and The Dome can be glad I’ll still be there.

Last week saw me at these three places, not to have fun naturally but more as a spectator, the party animals I had with me barely noticed my state of introspection. My body was tired and my mind had been starved. In dissatisfaction it berated me, turning out open and empty palms that craved information, instead they were held before my thinking eyes shaking and barely still. I felt a ting of guilt, yet those hands where held before my thinking eye a little longer and I gave in, I knew I had been my own worst enemy and I was full of remorse.

Then I remembered a poem I wrote when long ago I once thought I could go no further.
Looking at it now I just laugh;

Past me it seems,
When I would throw caution to the wind,
Dispense with decency,
Now I watch with almost aged eyes,
Careful of what I divulge,
My tongue has aged,
I wish not to admit that my body
Too has.
I abuse this temple,
And time no longer hides its
My miles now seem short
As nicotine and alcohol have been my
Play mates,
I seem weary in the face of physical exertion,
Now I walk like a time bomb,
Uncertain when I will explode,
Or rather implode,
For I know the damage shall eventually be within,

Many times I have tried to take in the reality
Of this path I tread,
Many detours have I taken but back to
This path do still return,
To bask in the misty ambiance of tobacco,
Invest in the self imposed blur of alcohol,
Yes I am lost,
Yet my mind wishes to indulge,
As I hear the slurred voices of my companions,
They too walk their own paths,
They have begun to show sign of tiring,
Looking for the next detour,
Not myself,
I still walk this path,
Like I feel indestructible,
Or is it that I am immune to such consequences
As the cancers and the liver failures?

Yet I have heard tales of sufferers,
Those who have failed to heed warnings,
How their last days were engulfed with pain,
Not me I sometimes say,
I’ll die a ripe old age of 90,
Like I were my own God,
Till I cough blood,
Till I fail to rise in the morning maybe,
I’ll still puff and guzzle,
Throw away healthy living and laugh
And laugh at the fit and able.

Looking at this piece now, I just laugh at the sheer ignorance that filled me when I wrote it. I sure am tired, and I’m worried for my health as well. Let’s just hope my detour stays permanent.

I saw Peaches last week while submitting my last Performance clearance. She was with someone else but she gave me a few minutes of her time. She said she was having a good time at her new office then as she left she gave me a warm hug. That encounter was still fresh in my mind when I checked facebook on Saturday night. Lo and behold, she had put up several of her modeling pictures and boy did they look good.
I was tempted to give her a call I must confess, then I thought again, ‘it’s not like any thing would change’.
Truth is I miss her, not because I’m lonely, it’s more to do with the honest friendship we both had before things changed.
Then there were no obligations to call each other initially, we just hung out at a bakery near my office, talking about stuff, laughing. She had this habit of pinching me on my side then given you this feigned serious look when you teased her, at this point her jaw would begin to shiver ‘cause she was trying to hold back a smile. I really do miss those times.

Its most probably pride that won’t make me give her a call right now or in the near future. I’ll probably sit this one out sulking and hoping I’m doing the right thing.

Monday, June 15, 2009

The withdrawals of Dust and Corruption....(A meaningless title.)

I have come to the absurd conclusions that my friends are not human. Yes I mean it. For the past three days they’ve showed no signs of letting up. I’m trying to keep up but…….

All in all, I watched them consume two bottles of Vodka, one red label, a martini, one Amarula and a Bottle of Remy Martin (this is not taking into account the large quantities of beer in between). As at Saturday while still following them on their ‘end to end waka’, I still heard some one boldly ask the question; “so what are we doing tonight”. I almost thought I was going to slump and die at this point.

I’m doing all this right now cause I’m on a booze break …… yes Booooozeeee break.. for those of you who don’t believe me.
I have no explanation to give any one.

These guys are still not letting up. We were soon heading for the fish market at Abacha barracks cause apparently everyone was fed up with all the proper establishment, so we wanted something new. So fish it was.
Before I go any further, I should let you all know that I have an adverse reaction, to sea food and fish especially. But you see, Fish is something I have just started to develop a liking for so you can imagine my dilemma when I found out it was in my best interest not to partake in the sacred and sumptuous ritual of fish eating. If I hear… no be just Alanta I go dance?

I had always heard they had great fish at Abacha Barracks, but the scope was one thing I never thought about. Apparently we hadn’t taken the rain into consideration as a possible obstacle…
The market was filled to the brim, beer stalls had already started setting up chairs and tables virtually on drainages and it made passage difficult.

Did I mention that I’m also allergic to rain water as well? No sooner had we sat down and placed our orders for fish did I start to feel the itch. But it didn’t seem like a big deal, until the fish came that is.
I angled one of the grilled sweet smelling trays of fish in front of me. As soon as it landed, a whiff of the aroma came to my nostrils along with some steam, immediately the steam settled on me, It was like a trigger, Alanta…… “e just be like se fire dey catch my body, Alanta, Alanta, Alanta….

I was just itching away, oblivious of who was with me….. but I noticed the fish was getting massacred. Omo I leave body start to dey chop fish oh. As one of my girls (Effects) said... Chop and scratch…lololol.

And I soon broke my withdrawal oath.
There was no better way to break the oath than with a bottle of Big Stout. Seriously it was worth it.
It wasn’t like I had been trying to quit drinking; I just needed to feel clear headed for a period of time. Now I won’t say I’m back. I just hope I’ll be able to exercise moderation.
Right now I’m reaping partial rewards for my withdrawal. No more difficulties getting out of bed any more and I’ve sort of gotten rid of the mild shaking.
Though I still owe myself; 350 push ups, 600 sit ups and 400 pull ups. I just hope I get all that done before I really start feeling out of shape.

Meanwhile I there is anew movement in town and its catching on fast these days. It would be a hell of a task trying to educate people who have no idea of what I’m talking about, but in truth all it takes to catch up is a free mind.

Its got a lot to do with humor and well thought of senseless talk…

You guys will get the picture soon.

Its called 'Dust'.

I have been engaged in a lengthy discussion with a few concerned Nigerian on Facebook and it has been enlightening and encouraging. The premise being the dissection of the Speech Nuhu Ribadu gave before the United States Congress. It made me wake up to some realistic questions we as Nigerians have to start asking our selves critically.

When do we want corruption to stop?

Are we all interested in seeing the end of corruption or we’re all the same waiting for our respective turns at the National cake?

If we genuinely want Corruption to end, in what way are we making a difference?

These three questions were at the back of my mind amongst many that I really wanted to focus on as I engaged in this discussion. Various suggestions were passed around and discounted as well as approved of. At the day I believe that one common problem hinders our common development as one nation. It is a lack common interest that stops us…

As long as East and West, North and south, middle belt and south- south, don’t realize that we all eventually have to work together, not as a government alone but as common society, we’ll always be in this present situation.

But once that is over come, and then we can start talking about building a new corrupt and improved nation. All this present talk of re-branding Naija is a waste of time and resources.

A sample of Dust:
Me; I’ve just joined a new secret society….
Friend; what’s the name of the society?

Me; Eggs…
Friend; Eggs???

Me; yeah Eggs.
Friend; So what do you guys do in your secret society (sounding curious)

Me; nothing much, we’re just eggs…
Friend; ???

Monday, June 8, 2009

Mind Bending ..


I don't know what's wrong with me this morning.... i'm not sure if I got enough sleep through the weekend.

I am now a mind bender so indulge me while I perform my mind bending techniques on you;

‘ I’m sitting there staring at her, ……… as she types away at her laptop keyboard, concentrated intentions carved on her face, I’ve never told her before but I get helpless when she looks like that. I just lay beside her on the long chair, pretending to watch the match but the truth is I wanted to fuss all over her……………..’

What the hell is wrong with me, I’m loosing it, literally. She’s taking over my thoughts and I’m not putting up much of a fight. What the heck, why should I fight it? Lol….. I dey pity myself.

Since Thursday I've been hooked on the American animation series 'Avatar;the last Airbender'.

If most of you are un familiar with it then I won't waste your time. Its just an animated series with a great story and believe me I've fallen in love with it completely.

Was at Play again last Thursday for 'BYOB'. caught a glimpse of M.I then that was it.

1:30 AM and we were done with a bottle of smirnoff Vodka, Alize and Hennessy.

Every thing seemed to be going fine when we all decided to hit the sack. On the way home, SBB started to drive funny. Having both been involved in a car crash before, my survival mode kicked in so I started asking him questions. His responses were slurred and the car started going from side to side. SBB was in 'God mode'.

What is God mode you might ask?

‘God Mode’ is defined as the level at which one looses control but is instead left in the hands of nature to determine his/her actions and it is attained while consuming large quantities of alcohol.
It is important to note that ‘God Mode’ does not manifest in the same way in varying individuals. That is left in the hands of nature.
Most people who have experienced ‘God Mode’ tend not to remember most of what they did while in that state.

Lolololol …. (Yeah right, like that’s supposed to make sense).

SBB got us home with very minimal incidence. I rushed out of the car and said a little prayer for him even if he stayed just down the road.

By the time I saw him the next morning, he had no recollection of the events after play and was rewarded with a Hang over.

‘I held her in my arms and she just lay there, I looked at her and wished I could kiss her but I could not, I wasn’t sure if I would survive one more refusal. All she wanted to do was talk, but I wanted more than to just talk. I had her in my arms finally, held her close for re assurance yet we just sat there and talked. My mind kept racing, barely staying focused on one single thing.

Then she looked into my eyes and asked me; "what do you think of me?"

" I ..I...". my tongue failed me, I sat there thinking, not of what to say but why I couldn't say what I ought to say.

then I messed it all up, i still can't remember the words right now, all I know is that they didn't give me the desired reaction. She wasted no time in re- adjusting herself. By the time she was out of my arms i got a mini - schooling.'

The Last Airbender is a wonderful story, its got lots of characters with interesting story arcs and is entertaining to not just young teenagers but young adults as well. Central to the various characters in the series are the four basic elements of the world; Earth, Fire, Wind & Water. Most of the Characters had the ability to control at least one of the elements. But the main protagonists had the ability to control all four. And he was most Dangerous in what is called the 'Avatar state'.

But I didn't wish I had the ability to control any of the elements or be master of all four this weekend. I wished I was a mind bender. Who could manipulate Diva's mind and make it see reason with me. lololololol.

All in all I had fun this weekend. Diva put me through my paces and I realized how much I had to learn. Hooked up with Princess and her friends then went club hopping. Saturday and Sunday were rather laid back, but i still feel tired and sleepy. Maybe its old age.

Meanwhile, if any one sees me entering Aristotle again, they should use me to play, pin the tail on the donkey.

I doubt if I bent your mind.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

My 'fall over'

I'm typing these words right now in bewilderment, wondering how come my head hasn't fallen of since it was both my hands I've been using to support it for the past 3 hours.

Its not much of a great morning for me and I detest that. Twas SBB's birthday yesterday and we decided to chill at Eden and make it some sort of low key affair. Just us boys with a few exceptions (I invited Diva and i have to admit that she gave me hell).

"I keep thinking about what it takes to be in a relationship. Is it really only about love or do people go into relationships for different reasons? My take is that its for different reasons and I'm sure you guys would agree with me that Love just doesn't put an entire relationship in motion. There has to be some other insensitive."

If you've just finished reading the above paragraph and agree with it, think i need to pick your brain. As in It seems as if it makes sense but even while i typed those words I found it very shallow and needing further expansion.

........gosh my head hurts like hell.............its as if the true essence of pain were emanating from the very core of my brain and spreading it to the four corners of the earth (like that ain't scary enough).
I think I have what i have aptly named a 'Fall over', since i think this is worse than a hang over.

Right now every one at work just seems annoying in their silence and I feel like punching some one (maybe it'll cure my fall over).

I just have a few more weeks till the end of my NYSC and its now ever so clear that I still have no idea of what I'm gonna do with myself after service. Its as if I feel I'm short of options where I am or something, been discussing with a few friends bout ideas and stuff but I still haven't felt that push towards the right direction or maybe I'm the one who just doesn't want to move.

Saw the Nigeria V France yesterday and just before the match started, there was a One minute Silence for the victims of the Air France plan that disappeared some days ago.
Its sad to see so much people perish and my heart goes out to the families who lost their loved ones in the crash. I hope we all take out time to think and realize what this life can be like.

Sometimes we only have a moment to make a difference in life and then its over. Realizing that makes me want to reinforce in myself the need to make a difference in this world. I hope you guys are thinking the same thing as well.

We all shouldn't just get up every morning like drones and do the same things over and over again. We all need to do something different, think outside the box for a change and seriously apply that beautiful mind of yours towards making a difference. What could be more satisfying to someone more than to see his/her life's work making a difference in the world. That's what I'm aiming for and I encourage you all to do the same.

This is why we are Human.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Weekend score card vs Democracy day score card

I wonder what all of you are celebrating Democracy day for? Democracy day my foot! it had me basically drowned in my own sweat cursing the bloody PHCN, what kind of self centered disconnected human beings run these entities?

Was supposed to be Karaoke night at Play on Thursday, but it ended up being BYOB. They actually moved Karaoke to Sundays, which is bad cause of our Sunday Pool parties.
Despite the change of plans BYOB was a hit. It was the complete crew again after a week; SBB, Mystery, Mr. Capable and my humble self. Added to the usual crew was Skills, Babs and Nickie.

The in house DJ had us pumped and some folks beside us started doing that popular dance... (like the one they did at the end of the Replacements).
Didn't realize it until they Mystery tried dancing with the lead and one dude cock blocked him.
As midnight approached we ditched towards Quorum hoping to have more fun but not until we heckled some chicks just getting to play (I'm Blaming it on the alcohol), not that it was insulting. I love Wande Coal; it was his lyrics we used, we kept shouting " Orobo to bad oh, Lepa top Bad oh".

Quorum turned out to be intimidating. I had to admit it was impressive. the live band was cool. But there was one problem: SBB wasn't allowed in cause of his jersey so we all left in solidarity.

Next port of call was the seldom visited Aristotle Bar, and the place was dead by the time we got there. It seemed like the perfect signal to hit the sack so we all went our different ways.

Friday started with a traditional wedding and ended with us hanging out at silver spoon and it was a live band we met at the spot, some crazy papas sturvs were on display and we showed them that despite the fact that we were young, we sure knew how to get down Owambe style.

Saturday found us in a quiet mood, we stayed home all day till about 7:00 Pm then had a couple of drinks at a garden near the house.

At this point you'll be wondering why all of a sudden we just turned the hanging out down a few notches, well everybody had his own reason sha.

One of mine being the talk I had with Diva. she asked me if I ever thought about staying home for the weekend, just doing basic stuff while catching up on my reading. i thought about it ....(for a few minutes). so i decided to give it a try.

Nowadays I'm beginning to spend a lot of time with Diva; Hooking up after work and talking a lot on the phone. I won't say I have an idea where its going but i promise to keep you posted.

One prominent thing that kept bugging me this week was the whole Democracy Day theme of the weekend. It was annoying, there were even score cards by some papers, yet I found myself at home with no electricity with intense heat again on Sunday. I scanned the papers for any readable news, nothing intrigued me until I turned to the back page.

Simon Kolawole's column was something I usually look forward to so I decided to give it a read, to my amazement it went ; blah blah blah..... telling us to appreciate the fact that we are better off as we are than we were 10 years ago.

but i have to admit that apart from a few liberties we enjoy, we're still almost back to square one, in fact maybe i should do my own score card right now.




INEC AND MAURICE IWU (OR IS IT IWURUWURU); only God can score that one.

3/ 10


So I wish I could say I agree totally with you completely Mr. Kolawole but this suffering I'm going through right now is unbearable.