Monday, December 14, 2009


i always like to say good morning.... like i really mean it. I like to say "good morning" like i really mean it. It makes me connect with every one i say it to. So at the end of the day, i feel like I've made a connection with the world.... Its sounds like Hippie stuff don't it? lolol... i ain't a hippie though...

Work is something else.In my four months of work, i have not had a day i could describe as rudimentary or typical. Its been a whole different ball game every day.

The Christmas season; busy,no break and a whole lot of "Good mornings".....

Then i think about reflecting on 2009. A year that has typically been eventful, unforgettable (it definitely has been if you're me). I started writing this post two weeks ago but I've only had time to sit at my system just today. in 2009 I've changed from an almost 24 hour/ all weekend party animal to a 'i barely have a social life' kinda guy. and the creepy thing about it is, these two opposites basically have had six month life spans.


now 2010 beckons so glaringly and I'm forced to take sometime to think about what i really want to achieve in this new year; in the short term, i want two learn two new things: French and Swimming. yes, as embarrassing as it is, i still don't know how to swim all that well.

then french, i just love the language even though i have no idea of what they talk about more than half the time.

On the long term I'm thinking alot about being more and more on my own. I'm becoming more and more distant from my family and its beginning to tell on me. Not like i like it, but i have that feeling that in order for me to really appreciate them, i need to learn to survive by myself.

some of you guys already have a clear cut and defined plan for 2010 while some of you are like me, just making a few plans while you improvise as things come by.

I was supposed to turn in a letter to Santa but that never happened because of work.... so you could all say i had a bah- humbug kinda Christmas.

Happy new year folks! see you in 2010....

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Grinding Steel

I have abandoned you my dear Blog, to a life of Beeish Buzz (Doubt if that's right).

I have been enslaved by work, and other dramas. Leaving you my dear loyal blog to wallow in loneliness.

Will you forgive me. Will you take this heart felt words and trust me that soon i shall return. I have forced excuses at your page hoping you accept them for i have no other thing to say to you, explaining how i could be this irresponsible. What have i done?

Who will plead on my behalf oh Blog? Who will tell you how much i have missed you, that the things i left you for are nothing compared to the vast whiteness of you Word Sheet that allow me to express myself without censorship?

I truly am sorry.

I have been stung by Cupids arrow, Possessed by Thor's Hammer and have sought out a life in a world that even though real doesn't deserve to be permanently lived in everyday of one's life. When i have the shelter of you page to express and deliberate.

What sort of apple have i tasted that would make me see this world in a new light and abandon you oh blog.

I am on my palms, typing tirelessly at they keyboard, begging that you receive this offering of my words to pacify you. I honestly have nothing else for if you could receive flowers i would send you a 100 dozens roses.

My betrayal tastes like that of Judas 30 pieces of silver.

What have i done you might wonder oh blog?

I have loved, I have worked, but nothing compares to the satisfaction you have poured out upon me. My heart has become something geologically undefined... formed and crushed continually in chronological estimates that i feel as if its continuous deformation and reconstruction has created steel and hence if this breaking continues, shall fate grind steel?

shall fate take up this steel heart which still miraculously beats and continue to grind and tear and dismember?

Who shall love a heart as deformed as this oh blog... I look at your whitish splendor and i pour out every thing within this steel container. Its insides are still soft though, beating away and pounding.

Work has stolen my soul. work has taken me away from my family and friends. caged me in a world that i still don't recognize....

I know you'll always have me back oh blog, from the first moment i laid eyes on you i knew you were going to be with me till the end.

bear with me Blog... I shall return, not as frequent as you might hope, but i shall always think of you. returning to you, for only you give me this succor.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


I have a confession to make, the reason i'm writing this post is because i'm trying to stop myself from going into one of my 'i'm pouring out my emotions' blog posts.

I've been going through one of the most painful emotional roller coasters ever and i don't know when it's gonna end. All have been using to block it out is work. But right now, i'm too less busy, and the thoughts are struggling to take up a front seat in my mind's fact they're gunning for the stage.

I'm helpless, wondering why I can't be cold and calculating, a mean lying philanderer... why!

Instead its me, emotionally vunerable dopey eyed mugun.... how could i have been so stupid?

There i go, i'm saying i don't want to write about something but i've used more than a paragraph already.... I pity myslef.

I have several items that have been in my possesion for quite sometime, these items have come to mean so much to me and despite the teling of time upon them i find it so hard to replace them. Just two items oh... not like they're plenty.

A wallet and a Bible.

THE BIBLE; It was my first visit to Abuja, Chairman was going on one of his usual long business trips and we kids were on our long break. It seemed as if he didn't want to leave us alone this time since it was becoming custom for us to only see him during his short trips to Lagos when he would spend a week or two. These periods would mainy comprise of house inspections and individual assesments by him.

We never really looked forward to these visits but there was nothing we could do.
Despite all this, he never failed to tell us a thing about Abuja, how impressive the town was and how frequently he met with a few highly placed government officials.

So even if it meant spending the entire long break with Chairman, we were presented with a golden oportunity, 'going to ABuja'. This was in the month of September 1997. I was still an impressionable teenager then. quiet and an introvert at most times.Any time i spoke to chairman it was in mumbling whispers..he barely heard what i said.

On the day of the trip we got to the airport with our luggage and checked in (i no go lie na the first time wey i enter plane be that). I was oozing with excitment and it even doubled when I found Chairman ushering us into the VIP departure lounge. He encouraged us to look around while he chatted to some guy who looked pretty important. I walked over to the book store and immediatley started searching for my favorite print; Comics. I was dissapointed to barely find one, soon enough while i kept on searching the shelves with my eyes, my siblings joined me then soon after, Chairman. He pulled out his wallet and entered the Book store pointing out two Bibles (NIV). I still can't remember what he bought for Lil mama.

He took us over to a long sofa in the same VIP lounge and sat us down.One by one he took each Bible and scribbled our names on the first pages, along with dates. I just sat there and stared at him.

That was 12 years ago, i still have that same Bible till this day. read it almost every morning and travel every where with it. Its one of the first things to go into my traveling bag anytime I leave town.

It has become worn out and developed dog ears but anytime i think of changing it i give it an extra look, then open the front page. Before I know it, all sentiment come flooding back in and I hae a new determination to hold on to it much longer.

I don't know, maybe i'll hold on to it and make it become a family heirloom, passed down from father to


I had just finished secondary school and while we passed the time following Mum to her office on the island, we never really earned any money. All we looked forward to was lunch time; it was our wave of the moment delicacy at that time "Ewa Agoin"....
Myself and Mr. Capable had become so addicted to the delicacy that Mum had to have the lady she bought it from make a big bowl of the special stew, which she store in the deep freezer at home. When that happened, we had no reason to folow her to her office anymore.

But on one particular day she still hauled us off to work. I soon became bored so I began to develop a kneen curiosity towards buses and their routes. I knew Mum wouldn't allow me just run off on my own so i started grumbling just after lunch that i wanted to go home. within an hour , when she had had enough of my contorted and unevenly frowned face she finally gave in. Immediately i suggested to her that we took the bus. Mr. Capable gave me a terrified look (Buttie) but i ignored him. She looked at me with a little suspicion then took out some money from her hand bag. Immediatley Mr. Capable brought out his wallet, brandishing it for all to see that he had one. I Immediatley recognized it as one of the many wallets that Chairman had used for a short Period of time before discarding it for its inadequacy.

My excitment soon died and was replaced by a mixture of envy and sadness. Mum asked me why i looked soo down, i then went ahead to tell her that Unlike my brother, i had no wallet (no be se i get money that time oh). she then urged us to head home.

Later that evening, while we were all home, Mum called me to her room and reached into her bag. She brought out a leather black wallet,it was still in a nylon wrap. Immediatley i saw it, i had a big smile on my face. " we both have wallets"... i thought to myself.

She handed it to me 10 years ago and till this day i never leave the house with out it. Its become torn and battered but i find it hard to let go. The treads are hanging out but all I have to do is take a second look at it and i'm holding tighter to it.

will I ever let them go?
I no know oh... They've become a part of me, sorta....

Thursday, November 5, 2009

FACEBOOK OR face value?

Just a while ago i went back to when all my online writing started; my facebook notes and i realized how out detached i had become from it, scrolling through my friend's notes all i could see was copy and paste pieces and articles, jokes and post cards. I felt a bit guilty, wondering and blaming myself in a way that it was all my fault; maybe if i hadn't found blogspot i would still be putting up notes that i had tagged my friends in or something.

Meanwhile i just feel facebook isn't just it anymore, first people stay on facebook for so long that you begin to wonder if they really do have real lives, or they're just actually fictional characters, but you remember that they've got probably like 400 friends or more.

I must confess i was two steps away from that point, when most of what i did was facebook, then more facebook.....and facebook.

If we all are too far hooked on facebook to make any sense of what I'm saying then t would most likely seem like I'm just ranting. Am I?

You decide, you make up your mind how far the down the rabbit hole we've all gone.

I talked about everything that happened to me on facebook, maybe it was to get attention or it was just plain expression i don't know right now. But i feel I'm past that now..... i think.

Is facebook bad or has it just become accepted, why do peeps find it skin crawling to add their parents on facebook; well the answer to that question is a no brainer but i wonder why it all of a sudden seems like we're either living double lives or we're trying to live our lives for facebook.

May be we all should agree to define what facebook is all about, cause i don't trust those Harvard peeps at all. they just might have other plans that we all aren't aware of.

Maybe its just me being paranoid or something but i really don't like facebook all that much anymore.

What do you guys think? Does the 'it helps in networking' still hold that much water?

Monday, October 19, 2009

Hhhhmmmm.....Growing up......

what exactly is growing up, obviously its not simply an age thing, neither can it be whittled down to knowledge acquisition.

"oohhh grow up" i often hear people say.... or "i think you really need to grow up"...... which one now??? na by force.... if you wanna grow up, grow up but i don't know about me. I'd rather just stay Peter Panish for as long as i ain't paying rent....

I have friends who seem to think they're all grown and i have friends who obviously don't wanna grow up at all.

Its a wonderful mixture to delve into but it sometimes comes at a price. Loyalties are sometimes questioned while principles could be thrown out the window.

I'm a young adult as society has come to describe me, but at the same time I'm not too far away from those years when i used to careless about tomorrow. Honestly, I'm not making any excuses, those years don't seem far away at all.

But to tell you the self assumed truth; i think I've don little growing up over the past couple of months. I don't think I'll be getting more than a hand full of supporters to this assumption but please indulge me.

....................................To be continued............................................

Saturday, October 10, 2009


There are times when i wonder what its all about and there times when i know what its all about.

I strive to define my purpose in life, whether it be in a relationship or at work, i know one paramount thing, i desire purpose. With out it, the red in my eyes turn blood crimson and i become that which i detest the most, a loosing monster.

But fate has played an important role in my purpose i must admit, lifting the mists of uncertainty and revealing to me an horizon filled with (yeah it sounds cliche); clear possibilities.

While trying to live, i have come across several possibilities of purpose, prying and probing, searching for the one which ultimately embodies my inner desires and drives me to succeed.

Have I found it? Honestly i can't exactly say i know, i just know that i have purpose where I am right now. Day to day i strive to put in my best to achieve my purpose.

Yet i have to ask myself what is my ultimate purpose, do i have to know that right now? must i have a clear picture of what i am to do before my life reaches its end?
If you will indulge me, can i ask you; what is your purpose?

And how have you defined it?

I just turned 25 a few weeks ago, a month after i got my first full time job, and truth is i had one hell of a time, even though it bore a hole in my pocket i have to admit that it was worth it.
In this quarter century of my life i say to my self that I'm just discovering what i really want in various aspects of my life; relationships, work, fun and family.

I do my best to take a few minutes of the day to reflect and be introspective of my actions, wondering if I still am on the right path.

"Where will i be 25 years from now?" i sometimes ask myself....

Saturday, October 3, 2009

What is This Feeling???

"I'm angry and sad, blown away and lonely. i hate the fact that I feel this vulnerable and its becoming ever more clear that I'm standing in an open range. Some crazed sniper has me in her scope."

These were the words Possi spoke to me this night as he dragged hard on his B & H... looking dejected. There was that funny look in his eyes that had me wishing he didn't own a fire arm or have any thing that could cause harm. HE WAS ANGRY.

I don't know where his story started to unravel but i caught him in the middle of it when the sign were there for all those who knew that what he was getting into was a bad idea. it had me recalling those moments of denial with 'Tinkerbell', back in 2006. when i knew too well that we were from different worlds and i could do nothing to stop her from getting married. the relationship was never meant to see the light of day in the first place yet we groomed it in the shade, hoping childishly that it would grow without sunlight.

how wrong we were back then. Me a younglin from the South- west with varying religious beliefs to her North- eastern origins. She was soon uprooted from her intermediate place of comfort and married off. I never gave up for over 6 months, the possibility of seeing her again.

Now Possi's going through sorta like the same thing.... he's a broken man now, thinking the fates hate his guts for nothing.

even if she's older than he is who cares. or she's been in a relationship with another guy for the past 2 years, who cares. all he knows is that he found someone he thought he could call his, who took his breath away any time he saw her.

She felt the same way towards him, but they both knew it was not meant to be. Even if they both had people they held dear to them, being together felt so irresistible. He barely knew how to take his eyes off her and she could feel his presence from a mile away.

With all this the basics never agreed with their liaison. She was ready to settle but he obviously wasn't.

How could there be a remedy to this?

With him she felt like a free spirit, unhindered in expression. He gave her a new palette.
He saw too much of what he desired in a woman, a woman he wanted to learn from, grow with..... but his mind would not wander further than that (There were many possibilities but this one was beautiful).

Now the bitter realities came calling, and as he stands in this arena of pain, the spectators are bitterness and emptiness. They stand amongst the crowd laughing and jeering.....

I don't know if Possi will survive this, i just hope he does.

I sit across the table from him, looking at him with empathy...

I ask the question within me like i were in his shoes..."when I'm with her, i know its wrong, yet why does it feel so right?....."

What is this feeling???

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The story I love...

She holds my head close to her chest and starts to tell me that story i love so much (then i guess i hadn't acquired that 6 feet height of mine)......

...... I left the house that morning, leaving your brother in the care of your aunt... i was sure my water had broken, i packed all the baby things i was going to need at the hospital. I don't know why i never said a word to your father or any one else. In fact i met my sister in law on my way to get a cab, she was taking the kids to school so she offered to give me a ride thinking i was going for my usual check up..... immediately i got to the hospital and the doctor took a look at me he had the nurses prep me up for delivery.

I had no idea if the child was going to be a boy or a girl, all i could read from the doctors gaze was that i really didn't have nothing to worry about. The time was about half past 10:00 in the morning....... i went into labour fully about 11:00 Am and it was not easy, i felt the pressure and pain, i willed the baby to come out but it seemed not ready, i was a bit worried....

Did it have to take so long?

At about a few minutes after 12:00 the baby finally came out... giving a healthy cry i waited for them to put him in my arms (I had another boy).

My baby, my son.... you've come into this world at the right time.... i looked at him and he was so lovely, a bit stubborn but so lively.

Sunday, September 13, 2009


These days i have the impression that I'm aloof. I refuse to publicly express myself with out an extremely good reason to. A smile here, a grin there, and a sneer for any one who thinks they can take advantage of my soft demeanour.

At times it can be a terrible place, this world.

I have a habit (don't know if its a bad one or a good one). I tend to reflect on past relationships and figure out what could possibly have gone wrong instead of leaving things as they were. One of the most consistent problems they always have with me is my "sensitivity".

At this point I've had it. I'm out of ideas and I'm not talking about how to move on to the next relationship, I'm talking about having to explain that the person you met is who you're gonna be stuck with for as long as the relationship lasts. I know women are sensitive and full of compassion, well as odd as it might sound i have my own measure of that and its what makes me "ME".

Believe it when i say this; I'm a full blooded straight guy with massive doses of testosterone, calculative and a lot of times obsessively objective. but I'm also honest, blunt with words and effectively emphatic.

These latter qualities make me no less a man, rather they make me a special kind of man. And that's the one I always want to exude.

So when I meet a lady who wants a typical guy (the stereotypical male) and she observes all these qualities, if she walks away thinking; the guy is so sensitive, i guess its more of her loss than mine.

With respect to the girls/ ladies; i just want to find the woman who's meant for me. I'm not about notching up numbers and bedding chicks.

I'm more of the guy who's desire is to find a soul mate.

I''m sure i sound like I'm flinging the "holier than Dow" phrases in a couple of faces but I'm also prone to moments of weakness. Its not something I proudly admit. I'm also a guy working towards becoming a better man to my woman.

I don't know if smiley thinks I'm sensitive, but that's for her to decide.

what do the rest of you think? Am I sensitive???

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Kagashi Bunshin!!!

you might be wondering what has gotten in to me concerning the title of my latest post... well that's what i wish i could do right no so i could experience all that i wanted to at the same time. Since i started work more than 3 weeks ago I've had to spend the most of my life working Long hours. i just finished a two week working marathon and its not looking like I'm nearing an end. Unfortunately my body has finally given in and craves rest. hopefully administration should work out a roaster that'll ensure i get time off.

I mean considering the character Naruto could develop several clones of himself using a particular justu that and still experience the various emotions and memories they all felt, it sure seems like a good idea considering my situation. i mean, I'm way behind on hanging out with my boys, spending quality time with smiley and playing with my dolls. i mean, one of them kept asking me through out the weekend why i had to go to work every single day.

what i would give to posses the jutsu of kagashi bunsghin.....
well in the words of my boss when he addressed us for the first time; "your lives are going to solely revolve around this company".

Right now I'm down with my first fever in almost 4 yeas and quite honestly it feels odd and annoying.
From my business manager to my colleagues, I've been advised and ordered to go home and get some rest. my head of HR even threatened to issue me a query for not taking a break.
its not like I'm feeling like one hardworking, dedicated worker, i just feel, its too early to cave into all the pressure and stress.

I think the main down side to this whole job thing is the strain its causing between me and smiley... she hardly sees me these days and i can tell how badly she misses holding me. its hard on her considering the sharp change we experienced from spending virtually every day together to barely seeing each other all week. i know i definitely have to make it up to her.....soon.

The more reason why I need Kagashi Bunshin!
or maybe the Super Eagles need it more than me, considering they had a difficult time celebrating one goal leads in one match, if they had that jutsu they probably would have been able to defend their lead as well as celebrate the goal they had scored considering how much into the celebration they were into.

As for me, i had the strong feeling that it was going to turn out sour so i switched to my Nigerien personalty mode; claiming i was more interested in camel racing than football.

So all you Nigerian should stop beating yourselves over qualification for the world cup, there's a camel racing world cup that happens in Niger every 6 months and the only thing you need to qualify is a healthy camel and its flies.

see you guys later...

Monday, August 24, 2009

I doubt if i was missed by any of you guys... i mean its been a month and except from 'HUMAN MACHINERY' no one even bothered to ask me why I hadn't posted anything on my blog in a while.

Poor me to have believed i had cultivated a small fellowship. Well i can proudly tell you guys that things have seriously changed.
Oh!!! So you guys don't believe me abi? I mean What did you guys think Griffin was doing for the past month.

Instead of sitting at home dragging myself around the house or partying all weekend long while the rest of the family was away for the summer. I instead, honestly did , go out searching for a job.

Well what do you think the results were???

I did get a job, but no ordinary job peeps... I got a job at a place I've always had the utmost respect for. Not only did I get a job thee, I also got thrown in at the deep end where I'm faced with challenges and deadlines on a daily basis.

Now I'm gradually learning how far i can push myself.
You guys should be really happy for me oh! As in the other option would have been being stuck with chairman and living an almost miserable unfulfilled life while being at the mercies of a low paying boss who's only excuse for my financial dissatisfaction would be the provision of accommodation.
What really comes with all the Good news is that my social life is practically dead. I work six days a week and have late hours every working day and the truth is, I'm loving it.

Then there's the Girl. she's stolen my heart and i feel love stoned.

Remember that Justin Timberlake song? "Love Stoned/ I think that she knows...
well that's what i think about when I think about what she does to me. I think that she knows, i think that she knows...... she's got me love stoned........

There are times when i think I'm not really cut out for the whole relationship thing, and times when I get into a fight with her, those feelings come flooding in, but just when I'm about to pull the plug something happens and i see her under the brightest lights and realize how impossible it is for me to stay away from her.

She's my one and only, and I call her 'Smiley'

I'm hoping i get back to my consistent level of putting up posts so you guys can finally get a full idea about what I've been up to and thinking...

You guys shouldn't loose faith in me just yet.

Monday, July 20, 2009


the eagle has left the nest so all the eggs have number 26 to themselves for the next 3 weeks....
lolol... i don't know what to say at this point. Chairman, maama & my dolls are off for the summer break and are taking a round trip from Morocco to England and then on to France and then back home. it sure sounds like fun, but i doubt if i would have had any with Chairman tagging along. Finally he has a reason to cross the Atlantic and leave us at home.

i've been very scarce in cyberspace these days so i mainly get most of my info through my boys ; SBB, Mr. capable and Mystery. infact i must confess there's being a lul in my weekend night life these days, i haven't see the inside of a club since last thursday and this weekend that was supposed to mark the beginning of three weeks of freedom was simply subdued...

i haven't even been to dub-c in since last thursday sef.

nowadays its from one book to the other. its even so bad that i don't even finish one before i pick up another.

thinking of starting French classes soon though, apart from that, i'm just floating.

been monitoring the transfer activities as well as the amnesty activities, and they all see so ridiculous in their own ways. God help manchester United and God save us from Yar' a dua.

Nigeria is being held hostage by militants who have gone as far as bombing lagos (my own lasgidi) and Yar' a dua is offering them amnesty, that never worked previously? offering the militants amnesty has never worked, especially when they attempt the ridiculous option of guns for money...

then the president states that amnesty is key to stable power generation. why can't we just give them resource control while focusing on diversification and let's watch them kill themslevs with their militancy. i realy am angry right now, cuase the more i think about it the more ridiculous we all begin to seem. depending soley on the resources of only one region?

meanwhile, the sheiks of Abu dabi have so much money, they've gone on a spending spree in the blue half of manchester. the only problem is, they've gone ahead with the spending, now SpARKY CAN FEILD ELEVEN PLAYERS AND 9 OF THEM WOULD BE STRIKERS (WORLD CALSS). all this is happening but Sir Alex only saw it fit to aquire one washed out legend and two promising wingers. still we have about 80 million pounds untouched. God dey sha.....

i'll holla at you guys later.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Pure Limbo

its been almost a week since the end of my NYSC program and i'm still sitting at home, wondering and waiting. I've turned into a "readaholic' (my own invention); i practically read anything in sight, from toothpaste tubes to oil reports.

I think i'm going crazy.

the possibility of getting a job these days are so slim! was joking with a friend the other day and i told him the best prayer any unemployed graduate should have on his lips right now is ' lord let them all travel abroad for masters or something'. i'm not sure how long i can last sitting at home all day long. the thought of running out of money and seeing myself become dependent on a certain someone eats at my ego.

but despite all that i'm helplessly holding my head up high with a careless smile on my face.

all that aside, i'm just feeling mighty positive... with my bushy goatie and growing hair, i'm just not giving a *&^k.

Friday, July 3, 2009

The end of My service...

today is the my last day at BPE officially, sadly i missed my own send forth programme... but its no bad feelings right now... I'm much more uncertain than sad. no more assured allowee or monthly allowances from the office, now its down to the main hustle.
been playing with various ideas for the past week, and the only certain thing i know i need to do other than get a job is to upgrade. as in majorly. the miserable degree i got from school can't take me far, besides, I'm not sure i wanna practice what i read professionally, ideally.

so for a while i have to really leave you guys..... I'm still not done with the pondering and soul searching, but i definitely wish i won't be gone for too long.

i can't say i learnt much during this youth service year, though i've grown obviously, but i really hoped i would be much more exposed in the establishment i worked in, rather it made me see clearly the lack of respect given to graduates of this country. i'm not angry, but bitter.

it makes me want to ask the leaders of this country why they have refused to invest much more in the educational system.

now to make things worse, universities are on strike.

it really is sad.
Now i'm about to join the long list of jobless graduates strolling the streets.

make i send una my CV?

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

MJ's gone and so is STep's Dad.....

"Micheal Jackson is dead!"
i couldn't believe what i was seeing on the TV monitor that night at Play. wacko jacko as the media named him had died of a cardiac arrest after being rushed to the hospital in los angles when he was found not breathing. Many have written comments about the whole misfortune ; a lot of tributes and a few bad comments but no one can ever take away what this man brought to the world in form of his songs and entertainment quality.

his charitable works were numerous; from songs such as heal the world to earth song, MJ always made sure he stayed in reckoning with what ever could continue to give him relevance. over a period spanning almost 4 decades he was always there in the spotlight.

the moonwalk, the thriller video and Bad, all that made MJ one of the easiest reference points of several generations.

it is there fore right to say that this talented figure will surely be missed and could as well be classified as a true legend when you add all the above listed with the fact that he was the unrivaled 'king of Pop.'

before you all start to think that I'm one MJ fanatic who blindly followed him through all the negatives, well i want to make it clear at this point that i am not too fund of him as a person.

i just cannot accept the various things he did to himself as well as reportedly others even if he had a weird childhood. All the child molestation accusations and skin color change as well as the nose job really put me off and i will not deny i took opportunities to throw snide remarks as well as make bad jokes about his life choices.

but the truth is Mj did far more good than he did evil, even if he rubbed some people off the wrong way, his works definatley shook all of us the right way. fusing R & B with rock and so on, creating break through videos and most significantly breaking the monopoly of Rock videos on MTV.

right here in Naija his works were an inspiration to early time artists and it also encouraged others to go in new directions for want of pushing the envelope.

like i told another facebooker after hearing the news; 'its because of MJ you can shake your head to a song like gongwo aso'.

meanwhile this post was supposed to be about someone else's death rather than MJ's . A dear friend of mine lost her Dad a few weeks ago and I've been tortured by guilt because I had promised myself that i would be there for her in her time of need, even if i had hoped that it wouldn't come soon. Step was my old flame when i lost my mum a few years back and she stood by me while i went through a whole lot of motions at the time. I saw myself drowning in anger and alcohol but no one could really help me deal with the loss. But she stood by me as long as she could. It really helped me pull through at the time. She now works in Lagos while 'm here in Abuja. i spoke to her several times and she seems to be doing well, but it just doesn't feel enough.

The guilt is killing me oh!

meanwhile, all this talk about the article by Reuben Abati is really generating a lot of comments back and forth, basically it seems that there are three camps; the quiet and not angry ones, the upset and vocal ones and the angry and down right insultive ones. i think i belong to the second camp because i feel dissapointed in the article, but as 'Speech Girl' said, every one has opinions so he was just expressing his. its just too bad that someone like him will see alot of things wrong rather than right with what our generation has to offer. Maybe i'll just buy him a Wande Coal and SHank CD then hope and pray he has a change of heart when he realizes the way he moves to their music.
sorry for taking too long in updating peeps...... i'm gonna be leaving my present place of work cause i'm through with service, so it might take a while before my next post. trust me though, i won't be gone for too long.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Enter Freeze, a wedding full of beauties

I feel dizzy and unwell. No, this time it’s not from too much partying or overdrinking or a hang over. At all, like I said in my previous post, I’m seriously cutting down on all that, besides, I’m about to end NYSC so its going be down to serious life issues any moment from now.

I’ve got a seriously annoying cough and I’m filled with enough cough mixtures I’m beginning to suspect I’m high. I had two table spoons of Actifed down my throat before 8:00 Am yesterday and soon enough I was so sleepy, I found it difficult crossing the road. I just ran into Yeti’s Office and practically slept through the most productive part of the day.

And about the previous post; I know a lot of you guys who read it were wondering what my talk was all about, don’t worry.

I’ve been focused on trying to complete Wole Soyinka’s :’The Man Died’ so I totally got immersed in it and by the time I was typing the said post I found myself a bit too connected to his writings hence the post as a result of that said Connection.

I have to confess that the early part of my weekend was rather forgettable save for the appearance of a friend I thought long lost. I met Freeze about two years ago or so, when I used to hang out mainly at Mystery’s crib. We’d all go down the local corner stall and have a smoke and stuff but all of a sudden he just disappeared completely and no one heard from him. Then all of a sudden he calls me up and tells me to meet up with him at a local beer parlor we used to go to (apparently he just got in from jand). I and the rest of the guys had stopped hanging out at the place for our own personal reasons but I had no choice but to oblige him.
I didn’t let him go that easily though, I first of all berated him for skipping town on us without leaving at least a contact e-mail address. After apologizing several times I agreed to meet up with him. Save for that part, my weekend was just below par, and then Saturday came. It was supposed to be a simple wedding, normal gathering of the couple’s loved ones and friends to celebrate their union. But no, it wasn’t that simple. I first got wind of the wedding earlier in the week, so I had all my friend’s have the date in mind. I mean if a former QC chick was getting hooked up in Abuja and she was just over 22 years of age, it meant most of her single friends and former class mates would definitely be there. Lo and behold, when Saturday came I wasn’t disappointed with what I saw.
‘As in ehn’ (Jennifa Biggs girlz English ohh people), the amount of beautiful women that were on display was almost paralyzing. Almost the entire crew was there save for SBB who had to work unfortunately. I was dumbfounded, yet excited, left right and center they walked and sashayed all around me, leaving me with much hope and aspiration. Me that had previously sworn not to go to weddings anymore was now having a good time at one.
I wasn’t looking bad myself though; my tall frame was well placed in my black suit looking all laid back with out a tie. So I’m proud to say I caught more than a few eyes staring back at me.

The music was mainly about the present day Naija artist’s expressions of love and all; from Bracket to Darey.

The wedding really was a lot of fun. Friends of the bride were dressed in black with touches of either green or blue and I have to admit that I stared at more than one with longing expectations of a ‘hi’ or ‘wassup’.

Another reason why I wanted to attend the wedding was because of ‘Neo’. The girl I had initially hoped to be the one (as her name aptly indicates).

We hadn’t seen each other for months and had barely spoken on the phone in an equal number of time. So when I walked up to her table with a smile pasted across my face, I was glad she seemed equally happy to see me. I hoped she could read from my eyes what I was trying to convey; which was I’m glad to see you’re doing fine’. We barely talked after that. She left sooner than I had hoped but then again, I’ll defiantly run into her again.

So at the end of the weekend, I started to think. If I was given the option of either going clubbing night during the weekend or attending weddings that had this much beautiful women every fortnight, the answer would be a no brainer. SO Abuja, I think you guys have to get ready for your own version of ‘wedding crashers’.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Peaches and Steam

I’ve always wondered why I repeat this cycle every week. Thursdays, through to Sunday. Then I wake up Monday morning with a Hiss and a moan, wondering why the weekend has come and gone so fast. At a point I thought it was for lack of a partner to spend time with, to occupy me with her warmth and intellect.

So I searched out for a partner, helplessly I’m fed up at this point. For it seems I have been a victim of my own undoing, either looking in the wrong places or seeking the wrong virtues. I’m spent and I can’t care less. I can have any woman I want but the question is ‘Is that really important right now?’

Me, a lover of fun and good things of life, not overly committed to many things but verse in arts and discourse. Will I define myself by who I’m with, at such a time as this?
I shake my head in disappointment. I am still susceptible to those lonely feelings though, craving warmth and companionship. For it is natural to. Yet it is something that vexes me because I have in moments of weakness such as the one I rise from right now let it be a means of defining me.

Now Thursdays are no more while my body says Friday is under consideration, yet it is glad that I agree with it for Saturday. So we a becoming one again. No more Play every Thursday, Dub-c is in probation and The Dome can be glad I’ll still be there.

Last week saw me at these three places, not to have fun naturally but more as a spectator, the party animals I had with me barely noticed my state of introspection. My body was tired and my mind had been starved. In dissatisfaction it berated me, turning out open and empty palms that craved information, instead they were held before my thinking eyes shaking and barely still. I felt a ting of guilt, yet those hands where held before my thinking eye a little longer and I gave in, I knew I had been my own worst enemy and I was full of remorse.

Then I remembered a poem I wrote when long ago I once thought I could go no further.
Looking at it now I just laugh;

Past me it seems,
When I would throw caution to the wind,
Dispense with decency,
Now I watch with almost aged eyes,
Careful of what I divulge,
My tongue has aged,
I wish not to admit that my body
Too has.
I abuse this temple,
And time no longer hides its
My miles now seem short
As nicotine and alcohol have been my
Play mates,
I seem weary in the face of physical exertion,
Now I walk like a time bomb,
Uncertain when I will explode,
Or rather implode,
For I know the damage shall eventually be within,

Many times I have tried to take in the reality
Of this path I tread,
Many detours have I taken but back to
This path do still return,
To bask in the misty ambiance of tobacco,
Invest in the self imposed blur of alcohol,
Yes I am lost,
Yet my mind wishes to indulge,
As I hear the slurred voices of my companions,
They too walk their own paths,
They have begun to show sign of tiring,
Looking for the next detour,
Not myself,
I still walk this path,
Like I feel indestructible,
Or is it that I am immune to such consequences
As the cancers and the liver failures?

Yet I have heard tales of sufferers,
Those who have failed to heed warnings,
How their last days were engulfed with pain,
Not me I sometimes say,
I’ll die a ripe old age of 90,
Like I were my own God,
Till I cough blood,
Till I fail to rise in the morning maybe,
I’ll still puff and guzzle,
Throw away healthy living and laugh
And laugh at the fit and able.

Looking at this piece now, I just laugh at the sheer ignorance that filled me when I wrote it. I sure am tired, and I’m worried for my health as well. Let’s just hope my detour stays permanent.

I saw Peaches last week while submitting my last Performance clearance. She was with someone else but she gave me a few minutes of her time. She said she was having a good time at her new office then as she left she gave me a warm hug. That encounter was still fresh in my mind when I checked facebook on Saturday night. Lo and behold, she had put up several of her modeling pictures and boy did they look good.
I was tempted to give her a call I must confess, then I thought again, ‘it’s not like any thing would change’.
Truth is I miss her, not because I’m lonely, it’s more to do with the honest friendship we both had before things changed.
Then there were no obligations to call each other initially, we just hung out at a bakery near my office, talking about stuff, laughing. She had this habit of pinching me on my side then given you this feigned serious look when you teased her, at this point her jaw would begin to shiver ‘cause she was trying to hold back a smile. I really do miss those times.

Its most probably pride that won’t make me give her a call right now or in the near future. I’ll probably sit this one out sulking and hoping I’m doing the right thing.

Monday, June 15, 2009

The withdrawals of Dust and Corruption....(A meaningless title.)

I have come to the absurd conclusions that my friends are not human. Yes I mean it. For the past three days they’ve showed no signs of letting up. I’m trying to keep up but…….

All in all, I watched them consume two bottles of Vodka, one red label, a martini, one Amarula and a Bottle of Remy Martin (this is not taking into account the large quantities of beer in between). As at Saturday while still following them on their ‘end to end waka’, I still heard some one boldly ask the question; “so what are we doing tonight”. I almost thought I was going to slump and die at this point.

I’m doing all this right now cause I’m on a booze break …… yes Booooozeeee break.. for those of you who don’t believe me.
I have no explanation to give any one.

These guys are still not letting up. We were soon heading for the fish market at Abacha barracks cause apparently everyone was fed up with all the proper establishment, so we wanted something new. So fish it was.
Before I go any further, I should let you all know that I have an adverse reaction, to sea food and fish especially. But you see, Fish is something I have just started to develop a liking for so you can imagine my dilemma when I found out it was in my best interest not to partake in the sacred and sumptuous ritual of fish eating. If I hear… no be just Alanta I go dance?

I had always heard they had great fish at Abacha Barracks, but the scope was one thing I never thought about. Apparently we hadn’t taken the rain into consideration as a possible obstacle…
The market was filled to the brim, beer stalls had already started setting up chairs and tables virtually on drainages and it made passage difficult.

Did I mention that I’m also allergic to rain water as well? No sooner had we sat down and placed our orders for fish did I start to feel the itch. But it didn’t seem like a big deal, until the fish came that is.
I angled one of the grilled sweet smelling trays of fish in front of me. As soon as it landed, a whiff of the aroma came to my nostrils along with some steam, immediately the steam settled on me, It was like a trigger, Alanta…… “e just be like se fire dey catch my body, Alanta, Alanta, Alanta….

I was just itching away, oblivious of who was with me….. but I noticed the fish was getting massacred. Omo I leave body start to dey chop fish oh. As one of my girls (Effects) said... Chop and scratch…lololol.

And I soon broke my withdrawal oath.
There was no better way to break the oath than with a bottle of Big Stout. Seriously it was worth it.
It wasn’t like I had been trying to quit drinking; I just needed to feel clear headed for a period of time. Now I won’t say I’m back. I just hope I’ll be able to exercise moderation.
Right now I’m reaping partial rewards for my withdrawal. No more difficulties getting out of bed any more and I’ve sort of gotten rid of the mild shaking.
Though I still owe myself; 350 push ups, 600 sit ups and 400 pull ups. I just hope I get all that done before I really start feeling out of shape.

Meanwhile I there is anew movement in town and its catching on fast these days. It would be a hell of a task trying to educate people who have no idea of what I’m talking about, but in truth all it takes to catch up is a free mind.

Its got a lot to do with humor and well thought of senseless talk…

You guys will get the picture soon.

Its called 'Dust'.

I have been engaged in a lengthy discussion with a few concerned Nigerian on Facebook and it has been enlightening and encouraging. The premise being the dissection of the Speech Nuhu Ribadu gave before the United States Congress. It made me wake up to some realistic questions we as Nigerians have to start asking our selves critically.

When do we want corruption to stop?

Are we all interested in seeing the end of corruption or we’re all the same waiting for our respective turns at the National cake?

If we genuinely want Corruption to end, in what way are we making a difference?

These three questions were at the back of my mind amongst many that I really wanted to focus on as I engaged in this discussion. Various suggestions were passed around and discounted as well as approved of. At the day I believe that one common problem hinders our common development as one nation. It is a lack common interest that stops us…

As long as East and West, North and south, middle belt and south- south, don’t realize that we all eventually have to work together, not as a government alone but as common society, we’ll always be in this present situation.

But once that is over come, and then we can start talking about building a new corrupt and improved nation. All this present talk of re-branding Naija is a waste of time and resources.

A sample of Dust:
Me; I’ve just joined a new secret society….
Friend; what’s the name of the society?

Me; Eggs…
Friend; Eggs???

Me; yeah Eggs.
Friend; So what do you guys do in your secret society (sounding curious)

Me; nothing much, we’re just eggs…
Friend; ???

Monday, June 8, 2009

Mind Bending ..


I don't know what's wrong with me this morning.... i'm not sure if I got enough sleep through the weekend.

I am now a mind bender so indulge me while I perform my mind bending techniques on you;

‘ I’m sitting there staring at her, ……… as she types away at her laptop keyboard, concentrated intentions carved on her face, I’ve never told her before but I get helpless when she looks like that. I just lay beside her on the long chair, pretending to watch the match but the truth is I wanted to fuss all over her……………..’

What the hell is wrong with me, I’m loosing it, literally. She’s taking over my thoughts and I’m not putting up much of a fight. What the heck, why should I fight it? Lol….. I dey pity myself.

Since Thursday I've been hooked on the American animation series 'Avatar;the last Airbender'.

If most of you are un familiar with it then I won't waste your time. Its just an animated series with a great story and believe me I've fallen in love with it completely.

Was at Play again last Thursday for 'BYOB'. caught a glimpse of M.I then that was it.

1:30 AM and we were done with a bottle of smirnoff Vodka, Alize and Hennessy.

Every thing seemed to be going fine when we all decided to hit the sack. On the way home, SBB started to drive funny. Having both been involved in a car crash before, my survival mode kicked in so I started asking him questions. His responses were slurred and the car started going from side to side. SBB was in 'God mode'.

What is God mode you might ask?

‘God Mode’ is defined as the level at which one looses control but is instead left in the hands of nature to determine his/her actions and it is attained while consuming large quantities of alcohol.
It is important to note that ‘God Mode’ does not manifest in the same way in varying individuals. That is left in the hands of nature.
Most people who have experienced ‘God Mode’ tend not to remember most of what they did while in that state.

Lolololol …. (Yeah right, like that’s supposed to make sense).

SBB got us home with very minimal incidence. I rushed out of the car and said a little prayer for him even if he stayed just down the road.

By the time I saw him the next morning, he had no recollection of the events after play and was rewarded with a Hang over.

‘I held her in my arms and she just lay there, I looked at her and wished I could kiss her but I could not, I wasn’t sure if I would survive one more refusal. All she wanted to do was talk, but I wanted more than to just talk. I had her in my arms finally, held her close for re assurance yet we just sat there and talked. My mind kept racing, barely staying focused on one single thing.

Then she looked into my eyes and asked me; "what do you think of me?"

" I ..I...". my tongue failed me, I sat there thinking, not of what to say but why I couldn't say what I ought to say.

then I messed it all up, i still can't remember the words right now, all I know is that they didn't give me the desired reaction. She wasted no time in re- adjusting herself. By the time she was out of my arms i got a mini - schooling.'

The Last Airbender is a wonderful story, its got lots of characters with interesting story arcs and is entertaining to not just young teenagers but young adults as well. Central to the various characters in the series are the four basic elements of the world; Earth, Fire, Wind & Water. Most of the Characters had the ability to control at least one of the elements. But the main protagonists had the ability to control all four. And he was most Dangerous in what is called the 'Avatar state'.

But I didn't wish I had the ability to control any of the elements or be master of all four this weekend. I wished I was a mind bender. Who could manipulate Diva's mind and make it see reason with me. lololololol.

All in all I had fun this weekend. Diva put me through my paces and I realized how much I had to learn. Hooked up with Princess and her friends then went club hopping. Saturday and Sunday were rather laid back, but i still feel tired and sleepy. Maybe its old age.

Meanwhile, if any one sees me entering Aristotle again, they should use me to play, pin the tail on the donkey.

I doubt if I bent your mind.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

My 'fall over'

I'm typing these words right now in bewilderment, wondering how come my head hasn't fallen of since it was both my hands I've been using to support it for the past 3 hours.

Its not much of a great morning for me and I detest that. Twas SBB's birthday yesterday and we decided to chill at Eden and make it some sort of low key affair. Just us boys with a few exceptions (I invited Diva and i have to admit that she gave me hell).

"I keep thinking about what it takes to be in a relationship. Is it really only about love or do people go into relationships for different reasons? My take is that its for different reasons and I'm sure you guys would agree with me that Love just doesn't put an entire relationship in motion. There has to be some other insensitive."

If you've just finished reading the above paragraph and agree with it, think i need to pick your brain. As in It seems as if it makes sense but even while i typed those words I found it very shallow and needing further expansion.

........gosh my head hurts like hell.............its as if the true essence of pain were emanating from the very core of my brain and spreading it to the four corners of the earth (like that ain't scary enough).
I think I have what i have aptly named a 'Fall over', since i think this is worse than a hang over.

Right now every one at work just seems annoying in their silence and I feel like punching some one (maybe it'll cure my fall over).

I just have a few more weeks till the end of my NYSC and its now ever so clear that I still have no idea of what I'm gonna do with myself after service. Its as if I feel I'm short of options where I am or something, been discussing with a few friends bout ideas and stuff but I still haven't felt that push towards the right direction or maybe I'm the one who just doesn't want to move.

Saw the Nigeria V France yesterday and just before the match started, there was a One minute Silence for the victims of the Air France plan that disappeared some days ago.
Its sad to see so much people perish and my heart goes out to the families who lost their loved ones in the crash. I hope we all take out time to think and realize what this life can be like.

Sometimes we only have a moment to make a difference in life and then its over. Realizing that makes me want to reinforce in myself the need to make a difference in this world. I hope you guys are thinking the same thing as well.

We all shouldn't just get up every morning like drones and do the same things over and over again. We all need to do something different, think outside the box for a change and seriously apply that beautiful mind of yours towards making a difference. What could be more satisfying to someone more than to see his/her life's work making a difference in the world. That's what I'm aiming for and I encourage you all to do the same.

This is why we are Human.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Weekend score card vs Democracy day score card

I wonder what all of you are celebrating Democracy day for? Democracy day my foot! it had me basically drowned in my own sweat cursing the bloody PHCN, what kind of self centered disconnected human beings run these entities?

Was supposed to be Karaoke night at Play on Thursday, but it ended up being BYOB. They actually moved Karaoke to Sundays, which is bad cause of our Sunday Pool parties.
Despite the change of plans BYOB was a hit. It was the complete crew again after a week; SBB, Mystery, Mr. Capable and my humble self. Added to the usual crew was Skills, Babs and Nickie.

The in house DJ had us pumped and some folks beside us started doing that popular dance... (like the one they did at the end of the Replacements).
Didn't realize it until they Mystery tried dancing with the lead and one dude cock blocked him.
As midnight approached we ditched towards Quorum hoping to have more fun but not until we heckled some chicks just getting to play (I'm Blaming it on the alcohol), not that it was insulting. I love Wande Coal; it was his lyrics we used, we kept shouting " Orobo to bad oh, Lepa top Bad oh".

Quorum turned out to be intimidating. I had to admit it was impressive. the live band was cool. But there was one problem: SBB wasn't allowed in cause of his jersey so we all left in solidarity.

Next port of call was the seldom visited Aristotle Bar, and the place was dead by the time we got there. It seemed like the perfect signal to hit the sack so we all went our different ways.

Friday started with a traditional wedding and ended with us hanging out at silver spoon and it was a live band we met at the spot, some crazy papas sturvs were on display and we showed them that despite the fact that we were young, we sure knew how to get down Owambe style.

Saturday found us in a quiet mood, we stayed home all day till about 7:00 Pm then had a couple of drinks at a garden near the house.

At this point you'll be wondering why all of a sudden we just turned the hanging out down a few notches, well everybody had his own reason sha.

One of mine being the talk I had with Diva. she asked me if I ever thought about staying home for the weekend, just doing basic stuff while catching up on my reading. i thought about it ....(for a few minutes). so i decided to give it a try.

Nowadays I'm beginning to spend a lot of time with Diva; Hooking up after work and talking a lot on the phone. I won't say I have an idea where its going but i promise to keep you posted.

One prominent thing that kept bugging me this week was the whole Democracy Day theme of the weekend. It was annoying, there were even score cards by some papers, yet I found myself at home with no electricity with intense heat again on Sunday. I scanned the papers for any readable news, nothing intrigued me until I turned to the back page.

Simon Kolawole's column was something I usually look forward to so I decided to give it a read, to my amazement it went ; blah blah blah..... telling us to appreciate the fact that we are better off as we are than we were 10 years ago.

but i have to admit that apart from a few liberties we enjoy, we're still almost back to square one, in fact maybe i should do my own score card right now.




INEC AND MAURICE IWU (OR IS IT IWURUWURU); only God can score that one.

3/ 10


So I wish I could say I agree totally with you completely Mr. Kolawole but this suffering I'm going through right now is unbearable.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

My Vampire like heart ache...

I've had a horrible Wednesday night and Thursday is much worse with all the taunting. I woke up with a bitter taste in my mouth (i think its because of the alcohol)and a bad dream that I I unusually had failed to forget.

My team Manchester United were once again made to look so ordinary and inefficient by Barcelona and to make matters worse every other person who isn't a Man-united fan was rooting for them to win so imagine how it looked where I watched the match considering majority of the viewers were Shepe FC. fans.

I'm still seething from the loss and would have loved not to post something today but I can't think of anything else to write about.......

Or maybe there is, considering killings in the Niger - delta. Its something that really has gotten me bothered.................
ooohh... who am I kidding, the main thing on my mind is why did we loose in such a way last night, I know Barcelona are probably the best team in the world but we basically handed them the match.

We gave them a fright in the first 10 minutes but missed our chances, immediately that Cameroonian drama queen put the ball inside the net everything went down hill from there. I wish, I wish. Well maybe it was never meant to be.

The headline on all the online sport sites make me seem like a vampire. any time I see someone opening a sport's site like, my eyes feel as if they are being burned and there's this burning in my chest like someones trying to drive a stake through to my heart.

Now I understand what Maradona meant when he said "each goal felt like a dagger through my heart ", when the Argies lost 5- 1 to Bolivia, because in truth it felt a lot like that.

Now you see the sly smiles on People's faces anytime they seem because they know I'm a United fan.
Despite the defeat I'll still keep my head up, and to borrow one of the most egotistical gestures by a coach to his club fans; "chin up".
United will always rise in defeat, and the only reason why people dislike United is simply that we always win things (which makes me much more proud).
I won't write out excuses as to why we lost or the things that went wrong leading to our loss, I'll just congratulate Barcelona, because on the night the better team won and its really a nice thing to see pure football triumph in the end (not like United don't play such).

Its karaoke night tonight, meaning me and the boys are going all out to act a fool again. hope you guys meet me there. Its at the usual place ; Play.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Sleazy Lounge beats the Weekend Routine...

Its been two months since I've been nursing this Blog and it really is turning out to be a promising child. Though there are times when admittedly I have intentionally ignored it, there have been moments when upon looking at another person's blog i draw inspiration and regain the Will to nurture mine.

FBA posted a short on his blog talking about how tired he was while i just read XSN's post saying almost the same thing but in a longer version, it almost makes me feel as if an anti- blogging virus has hacked into their personal computers and is writing all this stuff.
Well as a newbie I have decided to put expectations at a moderate level while trying to make sure i don't make my post look forced, hence the obvious extended periods with out any post on my blog.

Now that Peaches and I have taken a break from each other, I've so quickly become accustomed to being single again, or maybe while I was in the relationship I never really took in the fact that I actually was in one, not to sound arrogant, i just still am trying to understand the whole experience.

Friday saw me getting into unexpected trouble; my CDS coordinator handed me a small piece of paper that could cause me several sleepless nights; on it was written clearly, "this is a query asking you to explain why you have missed you weekly CDS 10 times. I agreed to everything on the query except the '10 times part' , i mean I know I've missed some particular days, but claiming its up to 10 can't be possible (or is it.....?). Now i have a hearing slated for upper Friday.

With that date in mind I began my weekend routine but this time around things didn't turn out as before. It seems we've gotten so used to the routine that on this particular Friday night barring SBB we all got bored before things got into full gear, my case wasn't helped by the fact that Diva wasn't picking her phone calls. We ended up calling it a night earlier than we usually did.

Saturday proved much more interesting though, I woke up on a low, dragged myself about the house lazily for a couple of hours before making the bizarre decision to shave my moustache, the face I saw in the mirror was odd but not so bad until Mr. Capable said I looked like 'Bart Simpson'. I admit that the comment had me feeling vulnerable so by noon when Mystery came to the house and we all headed to the Barber's shop, i ended up shaving my beard as well. The look again didn't come out well, now I knew I had made an irreparable mistake. knowing I had promised myself not to cut my hair again at least till the end of the year, i still couldn't stand it any longer so with a defeated ego, i headed back to the barber for the second time that day and cut my hair. I feel i let myself down for not following through on the promise. Now I'm starting over and this time I'm keeping it strictly professional.

In between my insecurities and hair cuts me and the Boys met a Princess, as in her name is Princess and going by what she plans to do on children's day, she truly has the heart of one. Mr. Capable had met her the previous day and while they were getting acquainted she had claimed she was looking for and orphanage to visit on children's day, since Mr. Capable knew one a few streets from were we lived, he offered to take her there hoping one of us would hook up with her, but by the time we saw how honestly interested she was in this mini project we were all sold. We did our best to help liaise with the orphanage official we met.
The fact that such a young girl could have thought of such a noble act really touched me. On a day when several children around the world would have no parents to take them out to have fun, she was giving up her time to help these kids as well as spend time with them, I truly was touched. Did I mention Princess is gorgeous?

By night fall we were back at Dub-C, but this time we had Lil mama as well as Mr. Capable's girl with us... things turned out better than I had expected until we had to split up, not wanting to head home earlier than the night before, I hooked up with Lil mama and Phoenix for some club hopping.

This was the result:
Bounced at Play (reason being that I was not properly dressed.......???)

A- Lounge was virtually empty.....(we left the place immediately we got in)

so we decided to check out Krystal lounge. I have a natural dislike for the place, so much so that I'd prefer hanging out at Dub-C all night rather than spend a few hours there.

Krystal lounge to me is a place of Sleaze, the faces of the regulars there leave you feeling insecure about you environment. Prostitutes are the most prized clientele and there hardly is any room to move about freely.

I honestly hope they demolish the place, even for no reason at all. We ended up spending barely more than 30 minutes in the place, i was off chasing an over sized ass while Lil mama and Phoenix danced for a few minutes. By the time they signaled me that it was time to leave, I had gotten no where with the over sized ass. Phoenix dropped us off at home but i never made it to my room as I settled for the rug in the upstairs parlor (I think it was the idea that I was going to watch Skins for the first time that drew me to the living room).

By Sunday morning I started to think about the routine thing; is it all necessary? Do I have to be out all weekend? why does it have to be alcohol all the time? But also paramount on my mind was the fear of visiting that Sleazy Lounge again, the mere thought of it made me draw up a new routine I plan to implement if everything goes according to plan this week, but first I'll list my weekend routine;

Thursday: Eden garden

Friday: Dub-C and any club willing to admit me.

Saturday: Just Dub-C (have to go to church on Sunday morning)

Sunday:Eden Garden.

now my preliminary outline for a new routine is

Thursday: Karaoke at Play

Friday: Dub-C

Saturday: Spend time with Family and Friends during the day.

Sunday: Pool party at The Dome.

If any one has any suggestions let me know.

Meanwhile I still am hoping for something to be done about that stupid lounge oh....

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Is it Goodbye Peaches? but i can't sing!!!

I'm supposed to be having a wonderful week, in truth its been great fun, but i won't give it a complete 10.

It is with a heavy heart and a deep sense of regrettable relief i announce the parting of ways between I and my adorable Peaches... in as much as a lot of people didn't believe the relationship was not going to last, i tried everything I could to make it real, she barely even tried, and soon enough i began to feel as if I was the one who so badly wanted this relationship so therefore everything lay in my hands.

Tuesday was her birthday funny enough so i decided to take her to the movies then have dinner, but as usual she was more than willing to run off with er friends to meet other 'friends' for drinks somewhere else... like I told you guys i wonder what made me agree to this relationship, maybe it was because I felt i would be ungrateful if i showed her I didn't appreciate the affection she showed me as she mouthed the words "I love you to me" each time we spoke on the phone, or it was simply my own selfish reason of wanting to endure a possibly decent relationship after years of skepticism and playing cowboy.

Peaches was special nonetheless, tall and graceful, with a cute smile, her distinct sense of fashion gave her a funny eccentricity that I found endearing. In the real sense we made a lot of sense as good friends, and it was during the eve of the beginning of our relationship that i began to realize this, sadly I admit i was not man enough to tell her how much things had changed. maybe now I'll never enjoy that friendship anymore, maybe we'll just pass the remaining days of our lives never crossing paths again, I'm not sure.

Post Peaches era seems to have a lot of promise to it from the way things are looking, Thursday had me hanging out with the boys ; Mr. Capable, Mystery and Sills for a karaoke night at Play and we only succeeded in making torturous music for the decent patrons of the establishment... at least I found out one thing about myself; me singing in public amounts to one of the torture tactics employed by the CIA in retrieving information from enemy combatants.

Besides the singing there was also beer consumption on a partially empty stomach, apparently amidst all the fun Mystery and myself had forgotten the importance of food substance in the stomach while consuming alcoholic beverages so we were 3 steps above tipsy by the time we were through with our howling at Play.

I'll give you guys more info on the weekend as soon as I can...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

i woke up Saturday morning in one of the worst ways possible, by some miracle or freak of nature, a 911 truck had found its way into my head and was trying to get out, the only way being to ram its way out through my skull. one of my dolls came into wake me and Mr. Capable up for the daily morning devotions and i just sat up in bed wondering what the hell i had been doing last night to cause me so much anguish on Saturday morning.

Okay i do remember what i freaking did (most of it that is), as it is customary to happen on Fridays with Abuja corpers, me and Mr. Capable joined a few friends (both old and new) for a couple of drinks, and from there moved on to Dub- C later that night.

Okay I'll get straight to the point; all this trailer in my head talk was caused by 2 large bottles of Smirnoff Vodka. in no small way did i practise moderation in its consumption. so there I was on a Saturday morning looking like a Swine Flu victim. initially i was glad i was the only one who felt bad for myself because Mr. Capable was fighting his own battle with punishing spirits of Hangover; he already had me worried cause from what he was saying i began to fear that the alcohol effect were beginning to manifest themselves psychologically than physically because he had started to say something like Jesus told him to do a few things... my own problem didn't get worse till Lil' mama came into the room, she spent a few minutes with Mr. Capable and as she was leaving she looked down on me sprawled on my bed almost lifeless, and i heard her sigh as she said the words "look at this one". even if i was lying down face down with my eyes closed i could picture the expression on her face, that had me thinking.

soon enough i was wide awake thinking of what to do, i looked at my bed side table and caught a glimpse of the TV remote control, in two minutes time i was watching Lilo and one should get me wrong; Lilo is so cute in her naivety and stitch is adorable as he is gruesome but, i got bored and slept off.

Noon came and game time arrived; Arsenal were playing Man- U at Oldtrafford. Man- U needed just a point while Arsenal were just there to see if they could spoil the fun, gladly they didn't.
as they say the rest is now history.

i swear I'm not feeling myself as I'm writing this thing ooh... maybe its hunger. just came back from the national assembly and i really feel embarrassed; we walked into the purported conference room at the national assembly for what we believed to have been the Senate committee meeting on the NNPC, by now the opening prayers had just been said so we hurriedly joined the rest of the people in the room.
with the opening prayer said, the chairman of the committee looked up and asked if we were representing the minister of Energy, and that was when it hit me, we were not supposed to be there. he immediately explained to us that this was in fact a committee hearing on the NLNG. i tried my best to act unflustered as i left the room but inside me i kept saying to myself; " oh boy, see national embarrassment".

till tomorrow sha........

meanwhile today is Peaches' birthday so I'm thinking of taking her to go see a movie then probably spend some time talking(i have no idea what to get her) and I've been thinking about us lately so I'm just hoping that we really get to clear the air. just realized how self centered and out of touch with my feeling I've been for a while now............ someone recently described me as cold and that really got me thinking up to this point....
I'll fill you guys in on what i discovered later...

Monday, May 18, 2009

Health Seminars make me sick..

“I don Come oh”
This time around I’m not gonna let anything put me down this evening, plus its game night so I know I definitely am going to be having a couple of beers at least. BTW (by the way; for those of you who don’t understand cyber lingua), Happy birthday to my dear friend, Skills. The crazy boy is actually the first person to start following my blog but I wonder why he doesn’t have his own blog considering the amount of activity the guy gets into around this Abuja. To have an Idea of what I mean, he’s a king Kong to my Mighty Joe Young.

The past few days have been interesting compared to the dull weekend that preceded it despite the lack of pleasurable consumptions of liquor or Booze. I was just having days that were worth thanking God for, but as usual, something interesting comes along to make sure you’re seriously dialed in to reality. First of all Human Resources at work felt it was adequate to organize a Health Seminar for all members of staff and in my experience these kind of things are not always fun. They brought in specialists to talk about various stuffs ranging from HIV/AIDS to stress and depression. The most awkward session happened on day two though when this big burly Doc was brought in to talk about Urology related ailments ranging from Prostate cancer to erectile dysfunction. Believe you me there was nothing comfortable about the whole session despite the fact that it was educating. For those of you who have such problems, I recommend the guy to you because he kept saying something about remedying such situations with minimal surgical incisions or so.

Besides that I’ve been deeply involving myself in a personal project that I hope will become a basis for my life’s dream, I won’t get into details yet now though, till I get a more structured blueprint.

Till next week guys, I’m sure by then the weekend would have brought with it a Post well worth writing.

Monday, May 11, 2009

My Weekend and Sam....

I have had one of the most forgettable weekends in ages in terms of my habitual nocturnal activities. I never imagined myself staying home on a Friday night intentionally with only local T. V content for company. Believe you me I so dearly want to forget this weekend, save for Friday afternoon when I totally got wasted before 3:00 PM.

There is one thing people should know about serving in Abuja, it can be wasteful; a Corper is likely to spend his community development days getting drunk half the time. Its double trouble if his CD is on Friday, because the likely hood of going clubbing is calculated into this probability.
After 3:00 PM my day was over, or more like my weekend was over socially, my other only compensation being that I hung out with the usual crew plus a few additions in the form of Diva and Dude. Dude had just come in from Lagos for work while I hadn’t seen Diva in a while.

As usual it was Dub-C through out, though the alcohol to human consumption ratio was a bit more concentrated. Apparently I was one of only 3 people expected to finish a bottle of Vodka, the others being Mr. Capable and Diva. Let me just say at this point that I will sadly not be giving you details of what happened as a result of the consumption of the Vodka (this is because of the gag order imposed on me by one of the participants).

Meanwhile every other seemingly smart person preferred Red wine, it seemed that there was something good about the particular bottle they were drinking cause they were not satisfied with one.

Like I said, the rest of the weekend was forgettable, that is until I watched T.V yesterday. Lil mama was watching E! New in the evening when they did a short on the hottest Australian actors in Hollywood. As most of you know by now, I’ve wanted to do a piece on Sam Worthington, and no it’s not because he’s good looking and Aussie. Rather it’s to rant about the meteoric rise he’s had over the year. Low and behold, there he was smiling on T.V as if to say; “mumu, nothing wey you fit do”(wonder how that will sound ). It really got me pissed I must say. Not like I have any thing against the guy personally, I just wish I knew some of his previous works so that I would know what to expect.

For those of you who don’t know, Sam Worthington is going to be in two major movies this year and they both have Box office dynamite attached to them. Being a movie buff, I’m always accustomed to following the lives of both established and up and coming actors. So I can say I’m able to predict who is next to blow based on their previous works or their present performance. I had always been good at it and if I had a paying job predicting the next big thing out of Hollywood, I’d probably be driving a Ferrari by now. Well that fantasy was threatened recently with the name peddling of Sam Worthington. Who the hell is he you might ask; well the little I can tell you guys about him personally is that he’s Australian, about 30 years of age, and has never done any T.V or movie outside Australia until now.
Right now he’s set to star in James Cameron’s big budget movie; Avatar, as well as the fourth installment of the Terminator franchise directed by McG; Terminator Salvation. Which he will co- star with Christian Bale. All this might seem senseless to you but I honestly don’t understand this particular guy’s quick rise, and as if to kick sand in my face while I was still struggling to understand what was going on, he’s just been confirmed as the lead (Persius) in the remake of Clash of the Titans. Tell me I’m only dreaming folks.

For the sake of the dude’s career I hope all these movies break the bank at the box office, if not he’ll just turn out to be a flash in the pan.

Meanwhile the whole dull weekend had me thinking about life after service. The recurring question going through my head being what I was going to do after service. So I’m just sitting here right now trying to figure that out..

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Glory Glory !! And a wig..

The past few post have not been worth any thing memorable to you guys I’m sure safe for a few quips and short paragraph, there hasn’t been much in them to catch your eye.

I know this cause I strive to be my own best critic, endeavoring to be as honest with myself as much as possible.

Now I find myself on this pages again attempting once again to give you reason to click on my blog any time you see me put up a new notification on my FB profile status or you just simply decide to stop by on a whim.

Today I’ll make you guys a promise, you faithful few who see a glimmer of hope in this untapped ability of mine, an ability that I have left lying dormant for a major part of my growing years leaning instead on other possibilities that have brought me few rewards.

I Promise to always give you guys as much reason to read this blog as much as you want to update you facebook profile status, and if I have nothing interesting for you all, I’ll stay away so that I won’t bother you.

Now back to work, nothing worth remembering at work happened yesterday, save for the obvious intimidation I received from senior staffs who had Arsenal allegiances, I was virtually bullied and intimidated through out the working day, I did my best to put up a brave face but deep down I knew I felt uneasy, thoughts flooded my mind as flash back after flash back replayed endlessly; of chances missed by United at OT. I wished I could turn back the hands of time and give Almunia a mild sedative that would both slow him down and go unnoticed if there was suspicion of foul play (the evil part of me thought this up oh). I tried to busy myself with something to read but even Wole Soyinka’s THE MAN DIED couldn’t take my mind of the inevitable hour a lot of people around Europe and surprisingly Africa were looking forward to; 7 :45 PM.

Unlike me, my brother seemed positive or so it seemed according to his profile status, but Arsenal fans on FB were having a field day. It left me wondering why, so I looked up the most vocal and foul mouthed Arsenal Blogger I knew; “”, what I found wasn’t at all pleasing, in fact I began t have that feeling that I was going to throw hope up at any time.

“THE MAN DIED” still wasn’t doing me any favors still. Arseblogger had gone on a riling campaign and from what I read, he did a pretty good job with it, cause I posted it to a few of my friends on FB and their reaction was almost aggressive, I wondered if I was going to survive this day.

The only Man U fan I knew I the entire office was Uncle Sule and all he simply said was “don’t panic”. “Don’t panic”, what the hell was that going to do for me, I wish he could have told me something, more complex like; “I went to see a Mystic yesterday night and she asked me to look into her glass ball, I saw Man U scoring 5 un-replied goals with you in front of your T.V dancing with no shirt on”. If that was what he told me I would have walked away laughing and gone straight to a bar, drank as much Guinness I could swallow till the match started, then back the T,V all through out the match so that I would prove the mystic wrong only on the prediction that I would celebrate with my shirt off.

On getting home I snuck in quietly so that Chairman (fake Chelsea fan) wouldn’t taunt me about the match, ran up to my room and waited for Mr. Capable to get home. He found me watch the news which at that point in time was reporting on the re- opening of the presidential petition tribunal. At that moment, we sat on our bed staring at the T.V. the report kept on showing the Supreme Court filled with lawyers wearing their wigs and gowns.

I have always respected the legal profession, but I have never admired their court room fashion antics for once, the whole idea of Nigerian lawyers wearing the wig and gown has never appealed to me, maybe the black robes are not that bad (even though they some how remind me of students from Hogwarts), the wig to me is one step too far in my opinion. To my knowledge it’s something that lawyers inherited from their colonial masters and it would have made sense in the old days when there was still a strong connection to the British colonialists but I think we need to portray ourselves as more indigenously matured to the outside world.

I don’t know how many of you would agree with me though. But I still stand my ground that lawyers loose the wig. Mr.Capable’s only defense for my question was that the wig portrayed an image of wisdom. Yeah right, like every lawyer with a wig had wisdom in them, I beg to defer, if my learned friends reading this would permit me, but I believe that should be determined more by the words spoken before an honorable judge. You guys hola at me with your feed backs on the issue.

By now most of you will know what the results of the match between Arsenal and Man U ended up being. I watched the match with the rest of the guys in Garki. It’s important for you guys to know that Mystery is currently the only Arsenal fan I hang out with on a regular basis, so the result did him no favor, at a point during the match he even shouted at Mr. Capable.

From my own point of view I was mighty glad with fergie’s tactic, playing an averagely young squad against the very young and talented gunners that were full of running and slick passing yet all that couldn’t make up for experience and determination. Two quick goals in the first 11 minutes seemed to put the game to bed but by the hour mark United added another one with a beautiful counter attack move that saw the man of the match; Ronaldo as the starter and finisher of such a peach.

Arsenal fans would wish to forget this match but revenge as well would also be on their minds, especially with post- match comments from Patrice Evra, the united left back was quoted as saying the match had been a game of eleven men against eleven children. I wish he hadn’t said that though, because I wouldn’t want to have to play Arsenal at such a key stage in the league with vengeance on their minds.

I won’t say much about Arsenal again because they already have enough on their plates. I just hope next season will see them make good experienced buys rather than continue over depending on inexperienced youngsters.

On a much lighter note, I think I’ll go see a movie before the week ends, most likely X- men origins: Wolverine. The illegally released copies don’t do the movie enough justice despite fan- boys complaining on review sites that the graphics were not good enough I still believe it’s a cool movie. So hope I catch you guys at Ceddi.

Monday, May 4, 2009

May Day Weekend round up

I'm writing this post cause i feel there are some parts of the weekend I might have forgotten, incase you guys remember any thing i missed out between friday and Saturday, please feel free to update in the comment column.

I'm just sitting at my desk at the office, bored to death, scratching my growing facial hair (thats because i've made a promise not to cut it till next year) and wondering what i'm going to write about.

I spent most of last week thinking about a lot of things in my life and i had to admit to myself that there was something wrong with me, maybe I then proceeded to take it out on the two coniving sisters in my office. i don't know sha.... then i did something really wierd; i typed in the words personality disorder on google and soon enough i found a page that did personality disorder tests for free. It seemed funny that a series of random questions would tell me the extent to which i had a varying array of disoders to my personality.

After answering about 50 or so random questions it gave me a very interesting result to look at; the result was arranged in a table format, stating that i had a high likelihood of being paranoid, moderate likelihood of being a schidzoid (what ever that means).

It really was interesting to go further to read the analysis, but it soon got boring, as in really how can a series of random answers tell me to what degree I possibly could develop such and such personality disorder. To realize that i even went ahead to take the test and read the subsequent result really creeped me out.

So now i have personality disorders and they can be cured with very funny and expensive drugs..... scchhhrrrrreeecchhhpppp...., like i don't have better things to worry about.


I decided to take thursday off work and get some rest. It helped to a large extent. At least untill Chairman started asking me why I didn't go to work. That really pissed me off, you see for the past five months or so me and chairman have had some sort of silent agreement in our relationship; which has been "leave and let live", that is until Thursday, what ever made him ask me the question still baffels me, yet what make it worse is the fact that he went a step further to try and give me the talk. I wasn't in the mood for any of our usual "i'm smarter than you" verbal jousting so i let him have a field day with his Parental wisdom. By the time he was through I had my head nestled on a throw pillow snoozing off (not like I intended to ignore him, its just that his talk has become so monotonous these past few years that i can recite and guess correctly everything he has to say).

By 3:00 PM thursday i'm so bored out of my skin and helpless for ideas. I've been sleeping all day with nothing but how to start writing my new blog post when next i get to the office.

I'm actually having problems picking which topic i should write about first; between "WHO THE HELL IS SAM WORTHINGTON" & "THIS ALMOST ENDLESS RECURRING DREAM". These two issues have been bobbing around in my head for months now and i can't seem to find the steam in my engine to start writing on any of them.

By 3:30 PM Mr. capable calls in to tell me he's on his way home from Chambers (Ope Oh!!) at least it won't be me alone in the house, plus he's coming with my little dolls.

As per its thursday, there's always the possibility of going out tonight but its rather slim, by night fall me and Mr. Capable mutually agree to stay home tonight. We both know fully well that Friday is definately not going to be the same though.

Friday- Saturday:

Maama says friday is Spring cleaning, which i don't totally agree with. I would have preferred if it was "sleeping in till all your eyes puffed out day". The rest of the house get to work save for me, Mr. capable and lil' mama....

we stay put in our rooms doing nothing too serious, I'm just lying in bed thinking whether I should call Peaches or not (yes i have a girlfriend and i use that cheesy name for her). All that is soon put on hold when Chairman calls us downstairs, apparently the three of us are expected to take part in the spring cleaning, I didn't know oh......

Me and Mr. Capable opt to do some outside ground work that would make us look more macho (the one that requires the use of a hoe and cutlass). it takes us no less than 3 hours to complete. By the time we are true the blisters on my hands have me fuming..(I can't remember the last time I had them; maybe SS2?)

We hooked up with SBB and Mystery later in the evening; around 5:00 PM but by 6:00 we've not even left home cause Mystery's car security is acting up, so we're turned into emergency mechanics and to make matters worse the street lights aren't on (because of PHCN) so we have to use the flash on Mr. Capable's camera phone.

By the time we're through sorting out the car problem its about 7 :00 PM and our first port of call is Dub- C, as usual its getting packed and lively, the DJ doesn't seem to be on point tonight though. As the night goes on we're soon joined by a few more friends, its definatley gonna be a long night cause everyone soon starts asking for another drink and we've only just finished a bottle of Red Label, so the next thing we go for is a Blue Smirnoff Vodka...... we call it "Amnesia".
We all soon agree that we'll be hanging out at a A- lounge which just newly opened. It turnsout to be a good choice cause we get guest appearances from Wande Coal and M.I. i actually thought Wande was really fat but apparently Mr. Capable is even fatter than i think i dance till about 3:45 AM the next morning and by the time we were leaving the club, my ears felt like they had ear muffs on them. SBB had to scream through the phone when i called him to confirm where he had parked.

Funny enough I woke up at about 9: 00 AM that same morning, no hang over was in the air and Manchester United had an early kick off but because of everybody's slow motion we missed the entire first half of the game. Gladly United won the match with little or no fuss so i didn't need to check my heart rate once every 30 seconds.

After the game SBB left us to take care of some personal matter (*wink * wink).... while the rest of us hooked up with a few other guys at a spot in maitama.....
the rest of the weekend was rather normal stuff though, i eventually hooked up with Peaches on Sunday and believe you me it was the second shortest meeting we've ever had (we'll talk about that later).