Saturday, December 18, 2010

*insert name*

Let's get much more fictional here, from what i've gathered some of you guys who read my previous post either don't take me seriously or have a serious problem with English interpretation. Why would you read the entire body of a post and ignore both the beginning and the end of the same post. ahn! ahn!

I said the post was pure fiction and some of you come up to me and still go..: "what you said is true.." i still haven't gotten around to owning a firearm yet. Anofia!

Now onto more fictional matters....
I'm sure some of you had house helps when we were young. Most of the time, pretty young girls who seemed busy almost all the time but would still find time to have a go at the gate-man or driver or you yourself. Yes i said it, you.. you looking at this page.
Guys! tell me some of you didn't lose your virginity to Peace or Ekaette???
Me i lost my own to Ife sha... and no she was not a house help *side eye* ...


I'm stressing it now, this is pure fiction so if you want to tell your brain that what you're reading is real then i pity the thoughts you'll have of writers like John Grisham and Sir Jeffrey Archer... imbecile like you.

For those of you who did lose your innocence to the female help, imagine running into her about 15 years after that confusing moment of yours (yes it was confusing back then cause a lot of you thought ejaculation was a near death experience and had to watch your first porn to know or realize its something closer to the first bite of a chocolate spread sandwich minus the facial contortion), let's say you're in a mall or a public place with your friends looking around at both displayed wares; those behind display glasses and the feminine ones walking by you. Then you notice a lady near by. she's unaccompanied,in fact she's the most appealing eye candy you've indulged in all day so you decide to try your luck on just this single one.
You muster all the courage Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx have impacted on you from watching their not so popular movies and walk over to where she's standing. As she turns around after noticing you approaching she gives you a confused look and for a split second you can almost swear you've seen her before, meanwhile she's looking at you while a mischievous smile slowly spreads across her face. Before you can mutter those words that could have most likely gotten you a talking down and a mean side eye, she calls you by that name no one outside your immediate family has ever heard (you made sure of that by strategically blackmailing them all). You're definitely caught off guard, you take a closer look but you still can put 2 & 2 together, how does this chick know one of the most guarded secrets in the developing world....

The first thing you think of is how you're so going to get back at your sister for giving out state secrets. but then again, you take a closer look at this stranger, she's the typical mall chic; Brazilian hair and things, light skinned with her 'bankers' salary' priced bag. She's looking at you mischievously and laughing hard.
Like that's not bad enough she calls you by your full name and asks about you entire family, if you weren't taking the entire thing seriously you definitely would right now, the other alternative would be to vamoose.

Second look brings a whiff of recognition, as you're taken back in time to your then assumed near death experience. How she tricked you with a bottle of malt and a promise that she'd let you have an extra piece of meat for dinner that night.

Your spectrum of reaction starts at surprise through to flushed embarrassment and finally ends at curiosity. how on earth did *insert name* get this hot???

You ask only one question; "where have you been all these years?"
She tells you a Zeb Ejiro like story that's supposed to touch your heart.
Then she says the words that you've been hoping to hear; "we should hook up on Friday". You exchange BB PINs and horny glances...
You give her a honest and delightful hug which for you means; Thank you for making my work easy.
Your friends can't wait to hear the story, you can't wait till Friday.

So guys, its pure fiction, marinate on that...

Deuces!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Random... sue me!

What ever i write here is purely Fiction and i stress the need not to take any of it seriously.
"I STRESS" hm mm... OK oh...
Cause if any one walks up to me and says; "hi, i read your blog and do you mean to tell me that blah blah blah is true?" i swear I'll make holes on you the average human being doesn't posses.
OK! i wouldn't but i swear all what I'm about to write is fiction.... and random, meaning it might not follow a particular order.

Abuja's peculiarity has gotten me fed up,and I'm considering relocating to Benin or some where more appealing... every social gathering is enveloped in accents so hard to distinguish you wonder if White men are the ones who really invented Phonetics.

The Ladies are the biggest culprits, putting up airs that could match Queen Elizabeth in the presence of the Di La lama.

Oh Brazil and India... what have thou created? The millions of women who deem it fit to grow, cut and send their hair down to a populous black nation have created a festering monster.
Creating a business for the sellers of the expensive commodity and expanding the business for lenders and Shylocks.
I won't be surprised to encounter a new Bank Product aptly named: 'WEAVESAVE'.
*sigh*

It is these growers and sellers of human hair that are the real mammy waters, growing hairs longer than cloth lines.
Then you force men like me to handle his lover's hair like a czar's Fabregae Egg.
I confess actually helping one lady put up her rollers for the night. Do you know what that marked for me? I wasn't getting none that night.
Trust i slept on my side, grumbling and cursing myself for being able to apply the rollers so well.
The blue balls and ensuing discomfort kept me company all night while 'madam' slept like Pharaoh's bride; untouched and smiling.

I have always expressed my ineptitude in maneuvering the complex waters of the male/ female relationship topic and I'm sure i swore off talking about the topic several times but alas i cannot avoid it.
Why can't it be like it used to?
Boy meets girl, girls meets boy,
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy but plays hard to get,
boy expresses his feelings via letter and flowers or an inexpensive present,
girl finds overtures corny but cute,
girl agrees to go out on a couple of dates,
boy breaks piggy bank to pay for dinner,
girl stops playing hard to get and starts to call boy baby,
boy and girl become a couple.

but that isn't the case in this parts any more, instead it has now become;

boy meets girl wearing Brazilian hair with gucci bag,
boy dodges cause he's wearing pam slippers and plain white T-shirt,
but boy likes girl,
boy decides to go hang out at the usual spot girl normally hangs out,
boy makes sure he has broken piggy bank and borrowed more than half his salary,

NB. boy has not yet met girl and girl does not know boy exists,

boy show's up in his best outfit for the occasion and 'mistakenly bumps into girl'(sometimes via twitter),
girl barely notices boy but can see boy's Blackberry Torch,
boy introduces self and starts small talk that mainly involves houses, cars and designer clothing,
boy asks girl out on a date and they exchange BB pins,
girl agrees and runs off to meet up with her maga for the day,

NB. see how long this actual process is?!

boy and girl start exchanging messages and even the phonetics can't be avoided in text format (serizly),
boy and girl agree to meet up for lunch/ dinner then after drinks at a 'classy' bar,
boy takes girl to the place his father can't afford and buys drinks that cost what he and his guys would spend for a 2 day weekend,
then girl starts to like boys wallet,
boy doesn't know its only when he wants to pay the bills that girl actually smiles,
......
people at this point i haf tire...

you all know where this story will lead to now; al a: boy broke, girl bails.

Wonder how our children will see things in their own time.

And i'd like to clarify, is pink a feminine color? Cause these days it seems guys are color jacking so bad its like gender discrimination.
I'll not go too deep into that though, so as not to polarize things further than they already are.


What with all the weddings these days? or is there a bonanza going on about 2010 that i missed? 'Get married in 2010 and stand the chance to get twins or something' *shrug*

Like i said, don't take any thing i said here in the real context oh.... if you walk up to me and ask me about this... hmmm...
Just Read the damn thing and forget me.

Deuces!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

A series of Unfortunate/ Fortunate events... you tell me...

Its totally explainable that I'm updating my blog after a long break, but trust me, if I'm given enough time to squeeze my brain of all the juice its soaked from the past couple of weeks, you'll have a great story to go home with.

I really am trying really hard to come up with how it all happened so fast.. cause I'm still yet to figure things out my self till now.

The previous week i was flying high, on top of everything, making deadlines and all, then all of a sudden I'd become the slacker, the one who never gets anything right. I even got careless with my belongings to booth.

At a point i confided in Mr. Capable and Mystery about the whole situation, wondering why so many things were beginning to befall me all at the same time.

It all started on a good note funny enough, 2 weeks ago. I left the house on Saturday after doing a bit of work at the office, with the intention of hooking up with the boys at Stadia to watch the United game (yep! Manchester United fan, bite me). Got there on time and it turned out to be our best performance of the season so far, with Berbartov grabbing 5 goals. I was ecstatic obviously and was still settling down to watch the next game when i got a call from Chairman, he accused me of trying to burn down the entire house. I immediately left the guys and rushed back home, wondering what could have possibly gone wrong... On walking in i smelt burnt wire.
This was surely not going to be good so i hurried into my room.
The lights had been cut out from the distribution box so maama followed me in with a flash light. The corridor seemed fine and there were no signs that anything had gone wrong so i turned my attention to the toilet... i didn't like what i saw, despite the fact that it was dark i could see and smell the smoke, the heater was blackened as well as half of the bath tub, to make matters worse the white half of the wall tiles were also black from smoke. The suspended ceiling tiles were not spared either. I stood there in shock. For a couple of minutes i was still trying to figure out if i had walked into the right room. Everything seemed out of place.
I definitely had a shouting match with Chairman before i called/BBMed the rest of the guys telling them what had happened. My night was over.

I spent the better part of Sunday scrubbing the entire bathroom and toilet from ceiling to floor. I definitely wasn't happy.
Chairman pinned it all on me, saying if i had remembered to switch off the water heater the fire would never have happened. That left me perplexed, i mean how could a water heater with a functioning thermostat burn up just like that.

It took the maintenance guys 4 days to detect and fix the problem, and it definitely wasn't from me. Chairman has not apologized till this very day.

Monday morning, myself and Mr. Capable went text book shopping, but we had to make a little detour around CITEC estate to purchase some flowers for the house. I had parked the car about 20 meters from where the flowers where sold and had just made my purchase when i noticed a couple of guys walking towards the car. I was getting in when i either instinctively or by divine intervention locked the car doors immediately. Within a split second of that singular action, i found the same suspicious guys on both sides of the car trying to open both doors. they kept on pointing down wards like i had dropped something. knowing i obviously had not, i jumped to the next conclusion; this was an attempted car jacking and i had very little time. I sped away like an F1 driver with no destination. Mr. Capable who had no idea whatsoever what was going on had to calm me down, i parked the car after a few minutes of driving, i was visibly shaken and not in the proper frame of mind to drive any further so Mr. Capable drove us back home.

The funny thing is in between these incidences, i had misplaced my ATM card on Sunday.

I couldn't understand what was going on anymore, within such a short space of time i had gone through all this and i wasn't going to settle for such an explanation as 'pure coincidence'.

By the end of the week, the car couldn't down shift from gear 4 to 3.That did it for me, i had to figure this out. at some point i tweeted: "i think its a woman". That's when i knew i was getting paranoid.

I gave myself a day to reflect on things without taking any drastic action and soon enough, things came to light. The car jacking was a close shave, the fire in my toilet was an external electrical fault and my ATM card was recovered although it was after i had it De- activated.

One obvious thing these events taught is; 'I'm very much human'.

Every thing's been fixed now though but i assure that lessons have been learnt. What i went through might be child's play compared to what others have faced, but i still am trying to figure this one out though...

Deuces!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Remembering Her...

… It’s been 7 years now…..
It was evening already, Mr. Capable, lil mama and I where all moody.
It was as if we mutually agreed that times like this required we stayed holed up in Mumsie’s room, quietly, just watching TV, while we waited for the cook to make dinner. It was almost a year since the divorce and we still were trying to take it all in.
On this particular moody day, we just sat in her room watching Channel ‘O’ and the next song that came up was Boys to Men’s ‘A song for mama’. Half way through we had a cell phone in hand singing into the tiny receiver, obviously it was mumsie on the other side. She could barely stop herself from giggling. By the time we were done singing, we took turns in telling her how much we loved and missed her.
…..It’s been about 13 years now…….
I was still in secondary school and we were having one of our unnecessary anniversaries. The whole school was gathered on the assembly ground and I was amongst my class mates just standing under a canopy waiting for the event to end so I could head back to class (I probably had a comic book I so badly wanted to finish), all of a sudden my cousin walks appears, with Mr. Capable nearby she goes right towards him and gives him a hug. I stand there watching them, but right behind her I see my mum walk into the crowd too. Immediately someone to my right asks; “is that your sister”. I give him an incredulous look and before I can reply my friend to my left answers for me; “that’s his mum”.
Despite all this, all that mattered to me was when I heard her say; “where is Teniola?”
She did this after she bobbed her head about while sharing a joke with Mr. Capable and my cousin Bukky. She had a short cropped hair fixed and she looked so beautiful in a lemon and dark green dress with sleeves.

Most of you who don’t know me personally might be wondering what I’m going on about, but for those who do, this being the 1st of December, you’ll recall that it was 6 years ago on the 2nd of December that mum passed away.
I have uncountable memories I’d love to share about her with you guys, but for the past few hours these are the two that have been popping into my head.
It’s no understatement when I say I miss her so much. Life without her is definitely not the same. But like I always say, I have people around me who in their own ways manifest parts of her that I miss so much.
So despite her not being physically present, I still cherish these memories that come to me as well as my siblings who unknown to them posses attributes they inherited from her.
Thursday it is then, six years gone by. I’ll most likely be doing what I’ve done every 2nd of December, for the past 5 years. Celebrate the life of Miss. Omotoke Adebayo.
Deuces!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The 'R' Word.

I can tell you what's wrong with your car by the sound the engine is making but i can never tell you what's wrong with your heart by the sound of your voice......

I'm an averagely good observer of people and i pride myself to a certain extent with the ability to predict a group of people's next move, but not the individual. You see the individual if left a lone is like a live wire... beating the ground restlessly feeling for momentum, hoping to be nudged by.. something.... someone.

The individual left alone is most likely unpredictable, that is why you'd most likely see a guy all by himself in a cafe reading a book (this is the same dude you might have seen three Fridays in a row at the club getting wasted with his buddies), the only explanation; his guys are either engaged in other activities he's not interested in or they're out of town. Hence he tries to act alone, he sits for a little while, ponders his next move, reflects on what he would habitually do by himself. Laundry? too boring, Call the girl he's been meaning to give a call? nah! she said she was leaving town last week, what a bout reading a book? hm mm.... sounds interesting... and off he goes, book in hand i Pod in pocket and a conviction in his mind that he'll definitely enjoy those few hours all by himself.

This was in partial my situation a few days ago. Just a few pages into the book, i found my mind driving down a different path... one not so affiliated with the particular text in front of me.
And boy, did my mind wonder.......

Through no particular form of inspiration or enlightenment i began to ask myself varying questions that touched on life and society, happenings and discourse but my mind seemed to nestle on one particular topic... Relationships. And before your minds start to get their typical ideas, i bid you to pause. I do not mean relationships in the narrow sense as is restricted to the interaction between a man and a woman, i mean it in its whole entirety. The relationship we have with God, with our Parents, our siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts, friends, colleagues, enemies and even the bogey man.

We all have the fitted boundaries within which we've been brought up to asses these various forms of relationships, through morals & culture, imbibed through religious teachings and over all the way society sees it.

But as an individual, how do you see these relationships?
What defines it for you?
Are these relationships formed and in line with what you were brought up to believe?

Personally as an individual, these relationships have different meanings to me.... the most underlying factor fundamentally is what is important though. 'RELATIONSHIPS'
without them we do not exist. that is why we have NIPOST, Address books, land lines, diaries, mobile phones, FACE BOOK, twitter, My space, Yahoo, parties and BBQs.. etc.

WE all build relationships as a means to different ends but the basic reason for having relationships is to exist.
Even Robinson Crusoe found 'his man Friday'. In an ambiguous way, this is sort of how i see some of my various relationships;

GOD: I have a million and one questions to ask, but i have just this one for now.... What's so special about SUNDAY?

My Parents: They instill in me the basal idealism they believe i need, they do their best to protect me from aspects of society they feel will scar me, yet they do not know my eyes have seen. I am effortlessly loyal.

My Siblings: My foundation, my innermost circle, the people who see me the way i truly am cause i am too aware that they have accepted me. I'd do anything for them, and i mean anything.

My Friends: The people who project my views of society, the guys i intellectually joust with. who i believe share a glimpse of the future with me. Who for no reason in particular i have developed an unexplainable bond. #no-homo.

My Lover: The woman who has my heart, she must be willing to give me her's. We both are human therefore are capable of rough handling on the occasion. We must strive to make each other better. I pray for her success and believe she prays for mine.

My Cousins: The people i hate to love. but i Love them any way.

"on a lighter note":

My enemies: What did i ever do to you??? Get a life.


My colleagues: Its nothing personal. I walk out that door and that's all we are, colleagues.

My Pastor: Sorry *sign of the cross* i just don't trust you. never will.

My Accountant: Keep on stealing the 5%, your accountant will still from you too.

The Bartender: I'll be nice to you just as long as you don't spit in my cocktail

Tax collector: 'F' u!!!

The guy/lady i bump into round the corner: keep walking


have a great weekend guys...

Deuces..

Monday, November 1, 2010

Who Send Me message???

And i had a monster of of a weekend, well more like monster of a end of the weekday. Fact is I'm still not fully recovered yet. Full fitness is still a few naps away.

In other news, my friend Skills is not well. Either someone installed a nuclear reactor in his bio-system or he's on something we don't know about. #Thatisall .

Some of you have started checking out my second blog 'Political Griffin'. the address is www.poligriff.blogspot.com. Those of you who have visited the the blog deserve an apology from me. my last post had a couple of typos which i failed to correct before posting. I can assure you that they won't happen again.
Was in a rush when i was putting it up and in a way its not even complete if you'd observe, especially with the brief anti- climax that was the end.

I got re-introduced to BYOB on Thursday and it was no small shindig.

I had the opportunity of attending the premier of 'Inale' thanks in no small part to teeweezee and i confess i was more than impressed.
Finally a Nigerian musical with a rich story that could be considered a classic.
I'm going to be honest, it was a good movie, yes, just a good movie by international standards.

By the time i was done with that, i hooked up with the boys at Stadia and trust me they were in in the mood for some partying.
So imagine about 6 guys all suited up walking into the club, no one had a girl cause we made up our minds that it was gonna be a sarging night (wing men aplenty).

The first person i saw when i got in was Skills with his friend CFC. they already were on some Vodka and juice ise and i immediately joined in. in no time i was feeling the buzz and Mr. Capable introduced me to E; petit and cute with a shy smile. The place was looking like a sausage fest at that moment so i did a bit of looking around.
I was just about consulting with Skills when the chicks came into the club in droves. things were beginning to even out and in no time I was grinding hips with a couple of chicks and trying to chase down a few couple more. I have to admit, suiting up was not a bad idea.

Mystery and Phoenix ditched us a few hours after midnight but Mr. Capable and i showed no signs of slowing down.
We left the place at about 3:30AM for the crib. On the way home i couldn't help thinking how useless i was going to be the next day.
true to form Chairman had a thousand and one things for me to do as early as 7:30, coupled with the fact that i had to get lil'mama to her office before 7:45. i felt pretty sorry for myself but accepted the situation as my full responsibility.
By noon i called up Mystery if he had a place in his office building for me to rest my head, as soon as he answered in the affirmative i was there in half the time it would normally have taken me. I managed to get about 15 minutes of sleep before my phone started conspiring with my enemies.

By evening, i was back at Stadia with the rest of the crew and a few other guys downing a couple of bottles of Vodka. This night around we upped the ante, hitting not one, not two but four spots that night.

7:00AM Saturday morning, one more bottle of Vodka down and countless memorable night scenes flashing in my mind, i trudged towards the crib, making a solemn oath to stay indoors. That wasn't to be; Saturday was Grandma's birthday dinner and there was no way in hell i was gonna miss that.

Lets just say the rest of the weekend was literally a snooze.

I'm probably not gonna be doing partying on this magnitude again for the foreseeable fortnight.
I recall when I'd always be on a run like this for 2 consecutive months before I'd give slowing down a thought.

Hopefully, next weekend is a bit mellow and sane for me. If it doesn't turn out that way then i still will take full responsibility.

as always, Deuces!

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Judas Effect.

Friend ship is a funny aspect of life. We all have our distinct and dare I say peculiar ways of navigating.

Tonight I confess I'm bitter and vexed. I experienced a sour aspect of friendship I pray we all do not encounter. That which makes those who have experienced such similar encounters bite their lips so hard, they taste the blood.

Betrayal. So true and so real. Starkly available for those unassuming.

Yes, I feel betrayed. By someone I risked trusting. Someone I hoped would prove all else wrong.
Now I have become another recurring statistic.
"How many of you have been betrayed by a loved one or friend?" And my hand would go up almost immediately if I was to be honest with myself.

I'm a very loyal person. And what makes it worse is, I demand almost equally the same in kind. Though I have come to expect that such a thing is not possible.

But here is someone who I expected a whole lot from. Who I believed valued a friend ship long nurtured.

And in one fell swoop he turned his back on me and let the vultures circle.

I feel anger, pain, disgust and sadness.
He has played his part in the life lessons I must learn.
And today, after weeks of denial and prodding. I finally burst with all the available emotions.

"Guy, I was loyal to you as a brother, I regarded you with the utmost respect, but your actions proved to me that you are just.... Human."

I rest my case.

It is finished...
I hope the 30 pieces of silver buy you more than a field.
Doubt if you’d hang yourself sef.

Deuces.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

eheheheheheh.......

OK OK.... its not twitter's fault this time. Its work oh... about 3 weeks into the new job and things are happening.

Got my first verbal warning from the boss bout 2 days ago, and trust me, it wasn't about my work. Predictably it was about my manner of reporting.

Apparently he expects me to be back at the office by 5:00pm to give him a status report of my daily activities.
*blank stare* I'm looking at him like, oga, you've got an i Phone with Internet facilities as well as a Black Berry with BIS, an e-mail address. and you expect me to always come back to the office by 5 o' clock.

hmmmm.... i never get power.

But all in all its a good life, I get up like i usually do, i get dressed for work and head downstairs to the office. The uncertainties keep me excited.
I always head out with a positive view and my to- do list.

And it seems like Chairman knows I'm not putting APL in my long term plans.

The humorous side to the whole thing is the attempted hook - ups Chairman has tried to arrange.
He doesn't even try to hide it.. (guess its in line with his vision 2011*).

ooh; vision 2011 means that AT least one of the three of us must be having a wedding by this time next year.
Na the man know oh....

I'm staying away from woman wahala for now (except for Choc _The_Ripper).

The other good news is Elow came in last week and we had a ball throughout. For the first time in almost a year i had all my Eggz in one basket.
it was Eggz style chilling all the way, which culminated in the small shindig we had at Mr. Capable's madam's house and lets just say the guys did a little bit of choreography......


From there we moved on to our new office (Stadia)and then on to Aqua.
I'm proud to say that we all have HOs or other ailments to show for a night alcoholically well spent.

SBB didn't hear his alarm go off this morning, Mr. Capable had too be pummeled awake, and Chairman thought it fit to wake me up an hour and a half after i finally went to bed. The only people who got off easy were Mystery & Phoenix.

Now the problem i have is getting back to sleep. My restless mind won't let me.





Well, in other news, the bomb attacks near eagles square almost ruined the Nigeria at 50 celebrations. The saddest thing about the whole tragedy is the quick finger pointing and the unguarded statements being made.

I have expressed my displeasure at the lack of professionalism shown by both public servants and Security Operatives in Government,but this past week has seen far more lows.

I'll save all that for another post.

My parting shot is;

Who ever thinks voting for IBB is a good idea should get off this blog... "Short term memory span having pant"
mean while, go check out my boy's blog www.skills-pinokio.blogpsot.com. i dey manage the boy (my Guy my G)

as always.... Deuces!

Friday, September 24, 2010

So Far....

By tomorrow, it would have been a week since I left my previous work place and it'll also be five days into the new one.
Yes, it didn't take that long.
I apparently have been fight this battle for so long, running aways from what seemed like my inevitable destiny.

Many years ago when I was still in college (University like we call it also), Chairman hauled me down to Abeokuta to be on site with him... In the midst of my grumbling and obvious disgust at being pulled away from the opportunity to be a typical teenager, I found myself sweating it out with men, even going as far as hauling equipment through over growth. On one of those days, he mentioned something in passing that has in some way, now taken full form. He said.. "After all, I set this all up for you...you'll be the one to take over all this one day..

Almost 8 years down the line I'm sitting here, in my office which is adjoining his, as the newly appointed Project Manager.

I admit I fought this thing for many years, telling myself as well as who ever wanted to listen that I wanted nothing to do with this company.

Infact, Chairman and I could barely stand each other most times.

Its my irony in every sense.

Now I see a much more potent challenge in front of me. My previous job compared to this was a walk in the park.
Now I have a lot to prove to myself and day by day it becomes much more apparent that I haven't seen anything yet.
If chairman has any faith in me, I do not know.
Each day that passes by will tell.


In other news, some sort of normallcy has returned back into my life, my world no longer revolves around the four walls of a building and the world definitely seems much more bigger once again.

Maybe I'll finally have more time for blogville, I know not.

Have you guys been keeping abreast of the happenings in the political sphere? Nuhu Ribadu just declared his candidacy for the presidency.... Eheheheheheheh.... I fear I might wake up tomorrrow to find out Donkeys have started flying.... *ooopps*

Lemme take the opportunity to wish myself !!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Yes.. It seems self absorbing but truth is I don't expect it to get much more exciting than this.

Later peeps... Deuces!

Friday, September 17, 2010

The End had been nigh...

So today's my last day on the job, it was supposed to be the 1st of October.
I got called up to the Boss's office and was told my services were no longer required after the end of the work day.
Now what do you know?
13 days to my final day and they drop this on me.
I apparently had it coming. I mean my attitude changed and I only performed my basic duties not pushing myself up to and beyond my accustomed limits.
One significant thing I had stopped doing was addressing Memos that related to finances. It was my own way of considerably reducing my activities to a bareable minimum. I found nothing wrong in this decision personally. Apparently other people did.
Now I'm sitting at a cozy joint reflecting on the past 13 months of my life at this establishment.
One thing is clear, it was never a complete waste of time. Maybe time could have been properly manageddoing other self improving and productive things but I confess that I don't entirely have good things to say about my departure.
I'm not one to dwell on the trivial to be honest but now I see that it is the very things I considered trivial that have placed me at this current position.
In truth I have always had issues with authority right from a young age and I can't say I learnt or adapted to the whole structure within this new establishment. All that mattered was the job and the result. All else was trivial (call me Achilles). And I can assure you I did my job with aplomb.
But just like mythological Achilles my weakness was apparent, not a physical appendage but I confess it was very visible to the trained eye.
I choose at this point not to point a finger, though I must confess that I have lost a friend I considered valuable.

Life must go on, and it already has. My mind though at this point is still saturated in a mixture of anger, sadness and excitment, it still is perplexed. WTF happened?
Its funny how I never referred particularly to anyone in my office directly on this blog, guess its cause my subconcious knew things I didn't.
Like I said about this same time last year; the future isn't all too clear, but I'm walking into it with an open mind and something tells me you'll not always have to check my blog to hear about me.

You think I'm not in any way scared. Maybe slightly.... But yet again, uncertainty does that to you.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

My Dynamics

I'm currently under medication and my mind is restless.
Its just interchanging thoughts and randomly for that matter... several issues fill my mind now and its not worrying at the moment. They should be insignificant ... What is paramount right now is the question i want to put forward to my few and far between readers.

How far have you come in your journey of life and what is your current assessment?

Over the last weekend i embarked on a trip to Akure, Ondo state. The reason being the witnessing of the solemnisation ceremony of my college (University) buddy and Former Room mate. For over 3 years about 4 of us shared a flat. I guess he was the oldest. there were the other two guys; Gando and Gestapo. funny enough they shared the same name.

Fast forward 4 years after all of us were expected to have graduated.
and in the middle of July i get a phone call from him (we called him sonita). He proudly announced to me that he was getting married on the 4th of September and had chosen me as one of his grooms men.

As i sat in the Van taking me to Akure, i reflected on what i was about to witness. In truth, he seemed like he was going to be the first of us who was going to ditch bachelorhood.
The question now was have i ever given myself to the eventuality of this sacred institution?

In life's journey it is almost part of the rites of life for a long living man to aspire to take a wife who shall become his mate, and also it is the same for a woman.

Of my few readers, i guess that majority of you are young people. At one point or the other you all shall make that decision to take a life partner.

the truth is this in my opinion is the most sacred of rites as we pass through this world.

Death, which is inevitable is also one of those; to become dust again.

I question myself if my awareness has brought me to this very threshold.
If in truth, at my over twenty something years on earth i have come to the point where i ask myself; will you take a wife? Have you found one who your heart longs to merge with or to raise a family with?

I think about it, i hesitate.. are you thinking about it?
What stage are you on?

Have you found a partner?
These questions are several, they make up a list you might find in any marriage counselling medium.

But i ask you as one of you? It is not to urge you or pressure you? because in truth the question might not be about a life partner, it might be about you Position at work, evaluation of friendship and relationships, it could be about the need to become somebody or make a mark.

The most paramount thing is; ask yourself; where are you right now, and do you think you are meant to be there at this point in your life.

It took me months to evaluate, sometimes i would hesitate. But i finally am at the point where i know my position and and know where i should be (not in the marriage sense oh!).

I'm making a move now, with God in my heart and a past full of experience.

It changes from here on for me.
What about you?

Are you static or you really want to move?

Deuces!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Swiss Beatz isn't gonna be here....

"I've got a million ways to get it.... choose one, Hey!!! bring it back, double your money and make a stack..... I'm on to the next one..."

I'm so biting Jigga’s flows..
"big pimping in the house now...."

I've always been a fan of Jay-z, in more ways than simply his Music, he's inspired me.
Bone all that Illuminati talk abeg...

this is a man who started from barely scrap to hustling in the streets... making his name into a major brand.

His story is one of Perseverance and Dedication to his Art, consolidation and finally diversification.

Then there's the hot chick on his arm.... Upgrade who? she better think twice, that dude needs an accessory, not an upgrade.

"I don't get dropped, I drop the label.... "


I just made a big decision, i walked away from a likely secure position, now i see myself in a wilderness of uncertainty.

I have ranted, complained, bitched about how crappy and interesting my job is.... but at some point i decided to give myself an expiration date.

A date which would either see me leave this company or rededicate myself to it.

Now the date has come and sadly I have to say, it sees me saying 'goodbye'

I turned in the piece of paper yesterday...
A month from now, I’ll begin working for Chairman.

Yeah! A lot of you who know about our relationship will be wondering what could possibly lead me in this most unlikely direction....

Truth is, i just have a feeling about this, a desire, to build something... to create an empire....

"Niggaz don't be mad cause it’s all about progression, loiterers should be arrested...."

It truly is all about progression, and from my stand point, Progression doesn't come if you sit by waiting.

You could argue that I enjoyed the privilege of meeting people and making contacts. The truth is even if I had met a thousand people who were viable contacts, I’d probably not be ready.

Whatever was there for me to learn, i had seen and learnt and discovered i had no interest in such.

My mind had become suffocated, gasping for air in the face of a controlling central structure, the whims of ruling overlords and the bickering of the very embodiment of too much estrogens.

I had survived all this for 12 months (that itself is an achievement).

So now that this chapter winds to its end, the phrase is ; "on to the next one"

Jigga made several multi- platinum selling records and still is waxing stronger in other aspects of his business...

I sit here, with no other job offer.

I'll always cherish the memories i have of this place, and the people...

It was a wonderful one year. A year of awakening. An awakening of the desire to become my own man.

This place sure taught me how to cultivate that desire.
Now i have to put to practice what i have learnt.

It’s not going to be an easy road for me, but I’ll have to take it one step at a time....

"....the world can't hold me, too much ambition..."

Monday, August 23, 2010

Ungrateful Rant

I learn every day, from other people and events around me, but like many other people, experience being the best teacher is the one closest to home.
Experience unlike other teachers doesn't give you that menacing stare or that whip on your behind.
Its not far off for you to watch.
Experience is you in the act, doing the act, experience is in your head, recording every decision, every action.
When the end of the particular lesson is there for you. Your mind plays you the reel.
You see it all, as you acted it out. Word for word, taking you through every moment and emotion, you can never escape it.... cause if a similar scenario plays out, experience plays out in your mind and you're immediately alert.

I've got a great relationship with experience for one simple reason; i no dey hear word. Tell me not to do something one minute, I'll most likely be doing it the next moment your face is turned away.

I'm just like that. Maybe its cause of being indulged as a child. Don't think I'm blaming my folks cause they definitely tried to correct me, but my extremes where, lets just say, bothersome....

I've spent a year working day and night for this company, and for the first time I'm going against my norms; which is being unreasonably stubborn. Now I'm just fed up.

Typically i would have stuck to my guns and said I'd see this through, stick it out through all the shit I've been shoveling.
Tell anyone who cared that i wasn't going to do what was expected of me. Because the truth is, this place sucks. After a year and I'm still given the same treatment, if not worse.
Rather than wait for my reward here, I'll expect it in heaven.
In no way in my employment contract did they say either party was a charity or a volunteer program.

Employment agreements in Nigeria are becoming more like slave contracts day by day. Sadly no one seems concerned cause the next guy doesn't mind having your job. In Nigeria its better to have a job that offers shit than become inventive or requires you to think on your feet.

In a lot of ways I have no idea what life after I leave this place is going to be like (maybe i will sooner than I think). But I'm sure I'm fed up of this kind of ass kissing.

All around me, ingenuity has died, instead, what is replaced is a desire to please the boss.

Its utter rubbish, and in my own opinion, has strong signs of the death of individualism.

But who am i to say anything....

I'm just the supervisor......

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Re- Up.. Smiley style..

yeah ! yeah! yeah! i know, its been a while, almost # months to be exact.
After all the promise and oaths i have taken in front of Obatala and Sango i still ignored my blog.
Go jor!!! haven't you made me feel guilty enough...
well in the event that any of you sees this post please accept another apology letter from your Humble Griffin.
Its actually more like an excuse.
The truth is there have been so many factors......
from finding my centre to rediscovering the Love which i thought was once lost (yup! Smiley's back).
to twitter addiction (follow me @griffinstreaks).. eheheheheheheh.....
Then there's the work... Oh the whole of it. WORK!!!!

I know i shouldn't be complaining but work is one helluva binsh...
Haba! if my parents had properly explained to me that i would have to work this hard to earn a mere living, i would probably have conned them into believing I had down syndrome or something like that.
but at the end of the day, my mind is a restless place and it endlessly seeks ways to express itself.

Then there's Smiley. Cute, feisty and a full of strenght. like i always say, don't be fooled by her delicate frame...

i lost her cause i got lost... I hurt her cause i was selfish. And all this time she was there.
Checking up on me, calling me, making sure i was doing fine.

it was when I found my centre... the point where i dumped all the baggage i forced myself to carry around that i truly realized what i was letting go.
At that point I felt i had lost her.

Smiley was still there, is still there, holding out her arms. All i want to do is run into them, hold her close and tight. tell her i don't want to let her go anymore, not for all the diamonds in the world.

No this isn't a Hollywood script. Its for real. as in me being dead serious.

And she tweets!

you should see her tweets.. gosh! talk about a sense of humour...

there are days i just think about blog ville, wonder why i haven't been on in a while. maybe its laziness or just lack of inspiration. I do miss it though and re- emphasise my commitment to this sacred place.

There are a lot of things i wanna talk about on blog ville, but now isn't the time.

I'll be back before you can say 'Ebele Jonathan'

Monday, June 14, 2010

Noise from Hell

So the world cup has begun and i have a confession to make; I think I've seen too much foortball in my life i might just ignore this sacred competion.

Just this once guys. My head can only take so much.
I even have a feeling the players aren't too commited to have a go at it this time, i mean its not exactly their bread and butter. And in this new dawning age, Glory is being redefined.
So if any one's really looking forward to gutsie performances and blood. maybe you should tune in to another show, like 'UFC'.

This world cup is unique to most of the people i know because its the first ever to be held on African soil, cue the Vuvuzelas... oh yes it really means something, A vuvuzela is really an existing object.

For we Africans who have developed a following of football around the continent, you might have come across these objects while watching a South African league match (PSL).

They're long horns (bout 3ft 3 inches) made of plastic and .... they sound so annoying.

Most football loving fans in Africa already heard about these contraptions from God know where when we watched the 2008 African nations cup when they hit us by suprise.
Unlike what is observed now, Africans in the sub saharan region mostly greeted it with indeference.
To them it was just one of the many diverse things they were introduced to by the rapidly shrinking village that this world is now becoming.

The Vuvuzela didn't meet such similar reception in 2009... at the confederation's cup it divided opinions and generated its own publicity.

At the Confefderations Cup, the vuvuzela was introduced to the world and the world was not impresssed. In fact it got both local and international voices calling for it to be banned for the world cup.


Others disagreed and the debate went on and on till we arrived at this point, its the 2010 FIFA world cup and the matches are well underway.

The Vuvuzelas are as strong as ever.
Some have given it various names, but the one i find most captivating is the title name; "Noise from hell"....
The reason being that there's nothing pleasing about the noise. it cannot be traced to any traditional heritage in particular and has several people claiming its creations and origins.

This object can best be described in one word; Annoying.
it simply blurts out proabably a stolen yawn from the devil you might say.

To top it all off, the Vuvuzela has been known to cause hearing loss through exposure to its irritating sound. claims have been made that its typical noise level is measured at 127 decibels and players have complained that it hinders concentration and communication.

Maybe they should have bannd the damned things sef or maybe not.
probably we'll all get used to it and our ear drums could get accustomed.

All i know is for now the damn things are straight outta Hell!!!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Re- up

If you follow my blog you would have concluded by now that I know nothing about relationships or to phrase it long; matters of the heart.

almost every tri- blog i'm most likely talking about or complaining about matters of the heart.
then there's my last post.
Featuring another round of oooohhhs and aaaaahs coming from my by now exhausted heart. "i'm sure if my heart had hands had facial expressions, it would look like Rachel Oniga during her crying role days in Nollywood".

Since i started this Blog in 2009 i've gone through one sort of emotional drama to another.
its not exactly Rocket science to deduce that i've been over indulged.

So i've made up my mind, i'm not going to be talking about the things i am most practically inept at.
instead i shall now focus on the aspects of life that I thrive on.

Example....... ...............

huh!!!

10 minutes later and i'm clueless.

What do i thrive on?

maybe when i figure it out i'll make it official.
Onto serious issues;
Any one know where i can get another job? this job right here's sucking the life out of me. Yes i know, if I had studied harder i'd probably be in one oil coy or something.
but here i am... Job's not so bad, save for the lack of a social life, no weekends and 17 hours a day shifts every other day. but i'm not here to whine.

I just need another job. Somewhere with more structure, a place where i don't necessarily have to be treated as family but where i get my due.

My current work place is more like an extended family and as usual in any social dynamic i find myself, i'm gradually gravitating towards becoming the typical outcast, nothing special though.
Its just my way; rebellious & non- conformist.

Seems like i've gotten boring.... someone i told about this said i was just getting matured.
for me i think work is just making me forget about a lot of things.
I don't want to become the kind of old folks who get stuck in a particular period.

Imagine if i get stuck in this time. My kids would definitely get laughed at in school....
"hahahahahaha... your daddy still wears skinny jeans"
That's a nightmare!!!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Smiley

These words are mine, they convey pain, joy, love, anger and regret.... these words are my realities, at a time when it seems like i have let one get away. 'The one'.....

Forgive me if this post does not take up any regular or coordinated pattern...

these are my words ,the words that come forth when i think of smiley.....

Meeting her for the first time;
.....wow, this one's got a smart mouth, but she can't try me when i've got my buzz,...... OK she's good.....
"what do you do?"
she tells me she's in Gwags studying law.... my family's bread that is....

First time i drive over to her place to pick her up for the first time, there she is walking elegantly out of her house...
she's wearing jeans but she's got shorts in her bag cause i told her to wear them...
she's in the back seat of the car changing... i don't steal a peak (i swear down)

later that evening we're having fun and all of a sudden she's dull, i wanna know what's up, she tells me not to worry. i can't help it, i just can't stand her looking like that. i lift her up in the air from her waste hold her there for a few seconds and say through my uneasy breathing; "i got you",

Oh my God!!! That smile... it tames me.... I try to kiss her in the car on our way back but she tells me no, I've been smoking....

She makes me wanna quit tobacco.... even if its to get a lip.

me and smiley can't stop texting... its all i ever do... she's always there... typing away... coming up with something witty.

and when we're together... i love it when she falls asleep in my arms....

on a friday Evening, she calls me that she's coming over, i'm already with the boys at the local.. having a beer. *shit!!! i hop into the car and drive like Roger Moore... Toothpaste and and a tooth brush can't do much harm???

By the time she gets to the house i look as guilty as sin.

On a odd day that i get off work early, i'm chilling with the boys,
she shows up and sits with me throughout... i go get something from the car and stand a few yards a way chatting with Mr. Capable... he's talking about something else completely but my mind isn't there... i'm staring at her, thinking to myself; "this is it, this is what i want"
I never realize i'm saying it out loud...
Mr. Capable looks at me and till this very day, he never lets me forget.

Now its almost a year on, Smiley has come smiley has gone... Smiley was almost set to return to me... our ups and downs have gone beyond the flat lines on a hospital life support monitor.

Most of the misdeeds are traceable to only me... I'm as guilty as sin (how ironic).

Today I said some of the most terrible things ever to come out of my mouth to her. I said them and its too late to take them back I guess, she'll probably hate me forever.

Smiley is special. Emotional and yet brutally honest.

I let her slip away and when she was about to reach back and hold my hand once again i lost it. I couldn't wait a bit much longer.

If i could do this now what would I have done if she came back to me.

I probably don't deserve her. She probably deserves someone better.

I'm alone now. All by myself.
"Maybe you'll forgive me ..." ... i think to myself

But if you do return. I don't want to ever lose you again.

Smiley i miss you.

Smiley

Monday, May 17, 2010

Incomplete......

truth fades in these trying time,
pain has become an appendage,
Worth's scale has been corrupted,
yet we all find a niche,
we all serve out our time,
life's changes are acceptable,
all of it.

we thrust forward like arrows,
hurling towards the unknown,
our edges blunting with distance,
purpose has becomes relative,
trading truth for convenience,
all of us.

Thank God Its First Friday

>>>> "e no easy eeehhh"
>>>> "whether e good or bad..."

just listening to the P- square song and really feeling it... sorta..

Truth be told, i've got a lot of respect for the music industry in Naija.
When the Established Foundation collapsed in the late 80's and everyone had to fend for themselves, one would have thought it would take a decisive government intervention to help salvage the artist from the greed of Pirates.

well we all know how long that would have taken (vision 2020 bawo?).

Well fast forward to the year 2010... its getting bigger and bigger... i mean, even the guys with no form of talent get to go abroad to shoot videos... *smh

though it says a lot of the musical preferences of the present consumer demography it still sheds a positive light on how much we're encouraging musical creativity, no matter how shallow it can sometimes be.

As for me i'm glad its in my time that this is all happening...
And through Thank God its First Friday, fans have the opportunity to see artist for free and more up close and personal than it can ever be here in Abuja.

I'm proud i'm a part of such a big thing like this. over the past five months we've seen this event grow from something attracting as much as 45 people to a such a crowd puller, we've had to close the gates....

I sure hope Thank God its First Friday becomes something bigger than we ever dreamed of.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

My Dear

Hello Blogville!!! its been a while i know.

Twitter stole me away and Facebook is seeking a divorce, but you!
in your patience and silence i still hear you calling me, drawing me back to you.
our connection is not like any of the other two, yours and mine is truly different, as you permit me a different kind of freedom. My expressions on twitter are mostly short and almost spasmic. Facebook feels more like a junket; either you want to show off or make a fool of yourself.
Even if you could allow me do both, the regard i have for you ensures i never do such a thing, instead it is an outpouring at most times of the deep thoughts within the valley of my soul.

So many times when i have felt as if a listening ear was never around, or i felt something needed to be said, no matter how hurriedly or boring it might be, i have always found your white screens comforting. (i might not have written something so deep or divulged many secrets).

its been over two months since the invasion of the Blackberry into my life and it hasn't gotten any better. it has become an appendage i can barely do without, I'm sure, pretty soon I'll be accessing you from the little gizmo.

one way or another i still strive to become a better person yet i want more like every one else.

my realization that my degree of self- centredness is disturbing worries me, urging me to admit to a really deep seated issue i am yet to address.

Blogville, work has had its fair share of ups and downs. "its a job" is what I keep telling myself, and I've come to learn a lot from those that surround me.

But the politics is scary, gossip and back biting makes me worry. what are the words used when i become the topic of discussion.... i have no false ideas that i am a saint.

i just hope my case is not bad enough to confine me to the silence of withheld advice.

I just want to be alone these days... in as much as i miss my boys: SBB, Mystery, Phoenix and Mr. Capable i still crave that solitude, being lost in thought even if it were because of the trivial, because my mind is my true home.

it paints funny pictures sometimes but it never hides the real details. And it is with this mind i hope i make a firm decision that could ultimately save me.

its 12:26 past midnight and I'm still at the office.

I'm tired and my body aches so bad. Blogville i wish i could stay longer tonight, but I'll get back to you as soon as i can. just know i still think about you a lot.... well not as much as i think about her though..(lol).

Goodnight blogville.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I neeed to make some money!!!



OK i just did something for free a lot of people would get paid to do.... advertise a product on their Blog... but heck. I'm doing it any ways. Its The event we do here at the mall every first Friday of the month.
Music and drinks all the way. One Headliner and a host of Up and coming artists.

It started out small but gradually its beginning to gain momentum.
First time we had Praise from Project Fame headlining for us then it was Mo-Cheda after that we were graced by the presence of Rooftop Mcs.

I'm not gonna let the cat outta the bag just yet, but its gonna be double bigger (if I'm permitted to say that)....

If you're in Abuja be sure to check it out.

its TG1stF : thank God its First Friday.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Easter Tweets...

just finished bowling with some of my colleagues at from the office. it sort of marked the end of the hectic holiday for us being that we all haven't had time to do what we guys usually do every now and then. Easter brought with it a mad rush never seen at the mall and we had one heck of a time managing things. tempers were tested (including mine), limits were exceeded....
one way or the other we all got through.
I have to say at this point that I'm proud of the guys I work with, i have developed a great deal of respect for the dedication they have put into their work.
In an hour or less I'll be on my way home tiredly excited to embrace my pillow and ignore the usual morning calls for the family devotion in the chapel when the normal people in the house get up. And my loving family would look upstairs and think; "leave him, he worked late last night".
I wish.....
not this time...
Tomorrow, even if i skipped the early morning prayers, I'd never be able to escape chairman. He's definitely going to look for me whether i like it or not.
For Pete's sake I missed his birthday and didn't even get him a card.... how would i explain to him that i though it was the 6th instead of the 5th???

I'm so beat... i need that rest and day off so bad.

I've gone BB crazy!!! its been just over a month now and i can't seem to stay in a conversation alone for a full 100%, instead, the conversation involves; me, my BB, the person/people I'm PINGing and the People/person I'm having the conversation with.

so if you're in front of me or chatting with me via BB, there's a high possibility that you're not the only one in an obscure conversation that involves talking about two different things at the same time. the only person who's safe would most likely be the person on the other side of the Pinging, cause he won't hear me laugh or get any "lol" instant messages for a joke he didn't crack.
on the other hand The guy/ guys in front of me would think I'm losing it.

Poor guy would probably think I'm trying to get rid of him faster than he'd want to leave.

So i discovered twitter... that land of brilliant one liners and short message tirades... e-toasting and hook ups. It's so bad I've almost done to Facebook what i did to Hi5.
though i still throw pictures on the damn thing every now and then.
Fortunately for FB I've got over 600 peeps I'm friends with n that's way more followers i have on twitter.

for me the family is small (or twam as my fellow tweeps call it) but one heck of a rowdy bunch.
i can barely stay away from the damn thing. Its just crazy.

Then there's the mad people I'm following who i wonder sometimes if they actually can be normal everyday folks in real life..... hmmmm....

for those of you who haven't... better go check it out.

I'm putting my right hand on my chest and swearing by my common sense that I'll try and stay out of the office tomorrow... get enough food into my tiny stomach while trying to avoid chairman.

You guys go watch 'Clash Of the Titans'

Thursday, March 18, 2010

How much do you want it.......

For your information, i haven't answered that question myself...... Was looking through YouTube and stumbled across the title track for the Hip- hop world awards: how much do you want it? Then it hit me... "how much do I want it?" I've never pushed that question around in my head, instead i leave my head filled with ideas that I understand what it takes to want, to desire, to strive..... in truth, i might have the knowledge of what it takes, but have I applied it. Have I convinced myself how much I really want it? or its still an idea... an awareness that still hasn't been pushed into reality...

Its troubling when I look at things in that perspective, because in real time evaluation, I haven"t followed through despite my high expectations...
all I can recall is mediocrity.


Shiiittt!!! I've really done it this time.
All this while performances and results have never peaked slightly above average and I have allowed that discontent to marinate within me.

I guess its time to expel this troll of an attitude. To welcome this unicorn that in its rarity is pure perfection.

Why shall i settle for such a thing as this?

In distractions I have found excuses.... piling them on to obstruct my view form the goals I have set.

I alone can save myself. If I can realize all this then what am I waiting for?
I will not compare myself or deem myself better than the one ahead or behind me, instead I will elevate my standards above perfect and strive to become something out of this world.

In everything I do I must become a dominant specie.



Look at yourself and ask... have you realized this as well? Do you feel the weight of sub par performances and results weighing you down?

What do you want to do about it....
How will you go about becoming the best you really are?

To say you are satisfied is not just a quit notice, its a desire to become forgotten.....

Possibly like me you've taken the fictitious role of blending in with the back ground yet your soul hungers for something more, you attempt to subdue it insanely but it yearns for a bigger role, refusing to be buried in history's forgotten chapters, or worse still the appendix that was never written.

Well i say NO!!!

You or me shall not yield. our minds shall not become ceste pits of unexplored possibilities...

I challenge you like i do myself to become a figure and not a statistic...

How much DO do you want it?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

I AM LEGEND

I'm sitting here with a finger in my mouth, wondering.... " what is happening to me"?


in the past six months what have I been doing to myself that makes me feel this way... I'm not the same person any longer... then yet again, I've never been a normal person to begin with.

But making matters worse is my slow deterioration in several aspects. Its no joke and I'm sure I'm making a poor effort at sounding sarcastic. I think about the different decisions I've made in the past few months i wonder if I've followed my routine natural progression (something tells me I have regressed.

Through it all I only have the experiences that have come with the times.

I want to believe i write these words with no pain or regret. I want to believe I have offended only a few people over the course of this period. I sit here in front of these key boards unable to talk openly about these experiences because I have lived a life in the shadows of near secrecy and silence.

When did I choose to take this part? How could I believe I would find happiness in such indulgence.

When a seed is planted in the total darkness it shall not rise from the earth with a flourish..... it most likely will die, forgotten.

I look at myself and my eyes feel lifeless. I fear I have become so in active I struggle to make an effort not to be mistaken for a furniture. Food has lost its place in my heart as well.... My weight loss could easily be attributed to work but I know the truth.

Where has my happiness gone?
Yes I am unhappy, possibly heading towards a slight bout of depression. But the zeal to live has not left me. I still enjoy the rising of the sun and the smell of dry air.

I will start afresh, that's what I will do, I have always found renewal in new beginnings..... Yes, the glint in my eyes shall return.

A stronger me shall arise from these ruined shells I am covered in.

Take my word for it..... I'm not going to stay down and give up......I TRULY AM LEGEND...

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Church for Yar' adua

Today's a Sunday, yeah, i didn't make it to church but i easily could have. I woke up this morning thinking About a lot of things.... most especially the reason why i wasn't even bothered about not attending morning service. Then I thought again what if I did? I probably would have felt the same. Or maybe I would have reconnected with the basis of my upbringings again... my faith would have been strengthened.... all these possibilities are true. they are glaringly true but I'll never know until I try. Church for me isn't the problem its the act of getting there, realizing that The hollowed chambers of worship differentiates you from another person is what disturbs me.

I see numerous people on a daily basis, i talk to several of them and as i do this, i realize how similar we are yet so different. they have their own views about life and in a small way we are all connected through one tiny aspect of each other's lives.
whether in views, religion, ideals, family or destiny. But one thing stands true; we are all Human.

Then i remember the days when Religion was one of the things that almost tore my family apart. Those days i watched helplessly as one person hauled the other to a church they didn't want to go to. It really made me wonder what the fuss really was all about.


And this was about the same christian faith, the only differing quality between the two options was barely noticeable.
Then I discover that one of the main subjects of discourse amongst we idle Nigerians is religion. despite our diversity we sometimes are oblivious to the sensitivity of the situation.
I've met several people who refuse to make religion a deterring factor in the choices the make with respect to a diverse range of issues and I've met people who do the opposite.
It never really sunk in until I got a feel of it; she said one of the reasons we could not be together was because I didn't attend the same church that she want to.... I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

Several instances have made me realize how unchanging the trend is to a large extent.

maybe I'm just being over dramatic i don't know. I guess I'll just say my piece and keep a lid on it from here on.


THE RETURN OF YAR' A DUA

they're finally back. who said the dude was dead? we'll if he really is dead then who did the SSS do all the 007 movement for at 1:47 AM in morning. if the dude is truly dead then it means Nigeria is the first country to have an incapacitated dead president somewhere between a hospital bed and limbo.

but what is so interesting about this whole soap opera is the fact that the dude was brought back only when his people started hearing Impeachment Rumours.
There is a large number of hungry folk out here in Abuja and the only thing that feeds their hunger is power. from this point on 2011 looms large. the word on the street is that the North wants continuity in the zoning formula, meaning; the next president has to be from the North (if only we Nigerians we not this daft)......

the papers are calling one name mainly; Turai! the poor woman's reported scheming was one of the reasons Nigerians were treated to long periods of Hollywood styled suspense and thrillers.... in my opinion, she should better move over there and try her hands out at directing(though I doubt if she'll be a hit like Hitchcock).

Friday, February 12, 2010

Effortless

When tears become roses,
When a shudder becomes a smile,
When silence is broken with laughter,
Love has become effortless.

when words are not required,
when a slight touch reveals,
when a simple blink caresses,
Love has becomes effortless.

When fingers are instruments,
When thoughts are mirrored,
When pleasure is presence,
Love has becomes effortless.
,
When could be today,
When could be forever,
Whenever I’m with you….
Love will always be effortless.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

For Ayinke

She’s on a journey we all will embark on,
Do not weep for her tonight ,
She has not gone without warning,
She has not left us in the cold ,

Who said she didn’t live a life.
The look alike faces say it all,
Three rows of men and women long,
With memories streaming in their minds,

They whisper their goodbyes,
Glad Ayinke was their ‘Mummie’
With great wealth in kindness and love,
she has left a legacy behind,

now we do not say goodbye,
instead we say well done,
and see you later.
The lord needs you more.

Monday, February 8, 2010

To write or not to write....

I've been asked too write a tribute to my Grandma(yeah, i lost my Grandma a couple of weeks ago). Its really funny when i think about it, She was one of the dearest things to me when i was still pretty you but all of a sudden things just changed.

Alot of things probably caused it no doubt, especially with the fact that i started getting more interested in other things.

Now i can't help feeling guilty for being so self centered.

There are many things i could use to describe her but there's only one way that best describes her; the way Chairman loved her. I have to confess it really influenced the way I grew to love my own mother, and even further, the way I grew to appreciate women.

He never took anything for granted with respect to her, and was way too loyal to her.

I respected that love.
I loved her as well even if i have to admit that that i hadn't seen her in more than 3 years.
Memories too keep flooding back from time to time. Some beautiful, some sad, some plain outrageous.

I have to confess, I've got a great family, and a crazy extended family. Grandma was definitely the center of that universe. You would always see the love they had for her.
Out rightly she was old school but in weird ways she was liberal. I remember the first time she asked me how many girlfriends I had.... Your guess is as good as mine; even if she was gonna ask about my relationship with the other sex, i never thought it would come at me like that.
Days when I took a trip with her to her farm... me wey think se i be correct aje butter, I found myself in a town in the middle of nowhere, no electricity, no pipe borne water. entertained with the sounds of crickets and night animals.

She called me 'Baba oni cocoa'... saying I was the re-incarnation of her father.... every time i saw her, she'd sing his 'oriki' saying it was mine.

I barely understood most of the Yoruba she would speak to me, but i definitely never tired of her prayers.

Sadly her final years were not exactly her happiest, suffering from Parkinson's. She lived to be a great grand mother no doubt and many grand children were born in her time.

Her final rights will definitely be a celebration of her life... tears will be shed... but as Ijebus, party must happen.

Miss you Grandma. Rest In Peace.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Snitching.

My friends have lost it. they have become full time harlots and sluts....yes you know who I'm talking about.... yes you know its you I'm talking to. Every day another different girl. God! what happened to you guys. I mean you never used to be like this you know.

Remember when you had just on girl and even if you had to get with another, you'd still say you loved your woman. Now all there is is that cold stare. Waiting like a predator. Striking with a calculated precision that causes me to wonder who I'm staring at. Do i really know you anymore? Mystery... yeah, its you I'm talking to. And to make matters worse, you've now found the best wing man any pick up artist would ever wish for, Phoenix. I mean you guys are "pimping" is what i would have said back in the day. but now i watch in derision as you guys go from one skirt to the other.

Lord help and save women folk from these two weapons of sexual pleasure. Last four times i ran into these guys i had given up hope of keeping up with the different names i had to memorize, so once i was introduced to any new one, I'd just stick to the official tag name; 'Abana'.

In an unconscious way i sorta envy these guys. Not really caring about one chick in particular, only hell bent on bedding them all. or maybe that's my extreme assumption.

or maybe the reason I'm thinking about it right now is cause i so badly hate the way i am right now. Strung up by my feelings and fighting so hard to move on.

I guess the next phase for me now is to be unattached and emotionally unprincipled.

I've never been like that, but i think i could do with a run of form like that.

So it seems i might have to get training classes from the best guys in the game, Mystery and Phoenix.

Guys! if you're reading this, best be ready for me. seems Style is back....I think.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Master, Master???

why do we become part of a crowd, a movement, cult, follower ship? to belong? is it a necessity? Is it all about conformity and integration? A feeling of semblance of society? There is a major desire amongst all of us. try as we all may to deny, we find ourselves belonging to something. WHY? I stand against this honestly, i believe in individuality. wholeness in one's self.

I sometimes wonder why we human beings tend to be like this, always seeking a leader to follow, always pointing towards a figure head. Why?

Since the time of documented history, mankind has always believed in being led by one man, be it a king, a regent, a war lord or simply just a man.

I recall the part of the good Book where the Israelites went to Samuel and asked him to give them a king. I wonder what was going through their minds at that time.

well they got one alright, one who fell from the lord's favour then went on to lead a campaign against the lord's chosen. He died on the run from his enemies after falling on his own sword. Even David who came after him fell by the way side after taking another man's wife. Yet the people follow these men and almost worship them.

Men always crave a leader, a Shepperd who they can follow. I'm always irritated when a man calls another 'master'. Is it not the same form we have all taken, is it not the same mind we create our ideas from.

I say all these things in hope that i have stirred something up in the minds of those reading this. in order to become a functional part of a society i believe we all need to become masters of ourselves. exceed preset limits.

Will you tell yourself that you do not look up to some one as a master. We all have done so at one point in our lives so it is not a travesty.

through out history, men who have led have also been led.

I just ask you all; do we follow these masters because they are the only ones who give us a semblance of direction or we just want to learn their ways so we can integrate them into our ways?

Do we follow these leaders because we believe their ways are much straight and pure than ours and We believe they can do no wrong?

What is your reason for following a leader?

Mine is to learn and grow, to become my own master.

What is yours???

Monday, January 11, 2010

Is this a rant???

i've come again oh, like my friends say; "i no dey hear word at all... but WTF! why should i ever deprive myself of all the joys of feeling what could possibly be love. And so? what if I knew from the very beginning that it was bound to end before it ever began. I don't give a SHIT what other people think,I'm glad i experienced it all even if at the end of the day it hurts so bad right now. I accepted this reality long ago and like academics; there's always a practical as there is the theoretical....

I'm really pissed off though, guess its as a result of getting used to always getting my way. now i'm presented with a whole new proposal. You can't have it all, even if you've got so much invested in it.

Hmmmpppphhh!!!

I'm not sure if this is a rant guys, my guts are dying to spill out everything in them but i can't do that. the sure thing for me is that i'm gonna have a Topsy turvy emotional roller coaster for the next couple of months definitely.

One side effect to this whole thing is I've become morally bankrupt (with respect to emotions that is).

When you fall in love and you're so sure that it is love.... the feeling is overwhelming... undeniable and sometimes it would definitely physically affect you. experiencing that feeling along with the harsh realities that barring a a mighty intervention from God almighty, we were not meant to be together. I guess that's what's still keeping me sane as of now. Knowing that this was going to happen finally.

I know i have not lost someone, instead someone has lost me so i don't intend to go about sulking and cursing the world that i have been dealt an unfair blow...oh gosh It hurts.....

then there's the other ladies, i don't know why it's happening at such a time but i think its for the greater good. ladies please take it easy...lmao... yeah right, i just think what's happening to me is a good thing though.

Love, pain, Fun.... its all good guys....I'll be fine.

Tinkerbell ,makes me sad also. I told you guys there might and there might not be a story, well there's a story alright, but I don't think its mine to share right now.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Mr. President and Mr. Terrorist....

A nation without a Leader, a nation that has been blacklisted because of the act of one single Nigerian. Nigeria!!! a failed state is what i'm close to calling us.

I think i've become really soft these days. Not really putting my foot down or being more outspoken. I guess that's because i'm trying to stay away from the frustrating world of ineffective government we Nigerians have found ourselves and have become comfortable in.

A country where Umar Yar' a dua has gone missing for more almost two months. It wouldn't be a big deal if he were not our very own President.

I've heard a lot about African Presidents being irresponsible, ineffective and Thieves but Yar' a dua's tenure has seen leadership of Nigeria sink to a whole new all time low. Forget about the whole amnesty thing, his first tenure has been an utter disaster. Whether he comes back in one piece or in a coffin he's practised the highest form of irresponsibility by any leader in Nigeria's history.

In my paranoid mind i'm sitting at my desk thinking about what could be much more worse than the state we currently are now. Yet there are still lower states to sink to trust me.

The Federal cabinet has become like a class without a teacher or a Class captain; all i hear is ; "vice- president orders ministers not to travel", then after that; "Ministers still embark on vacation trips despite orders from VP not to do otherwise"

It tells you the kind of Powers the VP holds. I mean the country finds it hard to look at the man as a leader since the elected one is MIA. If the dude even decides to do something now, it'll definitely be hard for him to be accepted because of how long he's taken to deliberate on taking necessary steps.

Then there's the Mutallab debacle, a young man from a rich family who decides that the next big step for him to take in his life will be his last and decides to blow up an American airline filled up with passengers. SHIT!!!

I could barely get any sleep the night i heard the news cause something kept telling me it wasn't going to be good. Then the news hit me. THE DUDE WAS NIGERIAN. how annoying could the holidays become; no petrol, mad working hours during the holidays, an MIA president, then this kid pulls this off. we've only just begun to see the repercussions.

Its difficult for me to smile when I think about these two situations, the kid would definitely be spending the rest of his life in some federal maximum security prison while the rest of his family become stigmatized and sometimes scorned.

In the case of Our missing president, its still a mystery,his aids or family are not forthcoming with details on his condition, which has left room for the tireless rumor peddling to continue.

Nigeria has seen her stock fall in the international scene for the past two and a half years but the Mutallab incident surely dealt us one of the heaviest body blows ever.


Being Blacklisted by a country like America would mean other Western states would follow suit shortly. And Yar' a dua is no where to be found to give instructions on how to save this situation....hmmmmmm.....

While what is left of this government is busy trying to hide the where abouts of their Oga what are we the masses doing about this situation? I don't want to believe Nigerians has become so accustomed to the ineptitude of their leaders that we wouldn't bother to raise their voices against this nonsense.... I don't think now is a time for us to let Interest groups with either axes to grind or lopsided interests to hijack this opportunity to speak against things like this.

Naija stand up oh.... i no go talk am pass this one... I heard there's going to be a march from the unity fountain to The National Assembly.... what will you be doing on that day? i sure wanna be there.

Monday, January 4, 2010

New Year Jingles......

2010 doesn't feel different.everything doesn't feel 2010 at all, its more like i just woke up and knowing that it's Friday. Yet all the ordinance and explosive like fire works reminded me there was something to celebrate....but what exactly? I worked late on new years eve and made it to church just 15 minutes to midnight. Good thing was i crossed over with my brother and best friend, we said prayers of thanks giving together and boy were there alot of thing to be thankful about.

WOW! a decade has gone by folks since we said good bye to the Ninties and here we are in a new one looking forward to what the future holds for each one of us.

Most important on my mind as i thought about 2010 was where i wanted to find myself by the time we would b ushering in 2011... what exactly did i want and where exactly did i want to be?

My own House, a woman i was i could call my partner and friend. As i thought about these things i began to feel the need for them, I mean i was beginning to feel like an alien in Chairman's house already... gradually becoming a passing shadow in a place i used to call home.

how drastically things changed, but a sure fact for a long time was that they definitely were going to.

Its not clear cut, precise, defined or organized, all i know is that i have to be where i want to be and have what i really need in 2010...

Then there's the part where the unexpected could happen. As part of celebrating the entrance into the new year, i was hanging out at Dub-C with the boys when out of no where i see Tinker bell sitting directly opposite me.
The first question that came to mind was; Where on earth had she been hiding, knowing how frequently i had double checked every petite, light skinned lady who came my way. I had expected her to have kids by now knowing that the main reasons why she disappeared was that she was to be married off. Now there she was sitting there opposite me...in a place i barely expected to run into her...

As expected we saw each other, I'm not going to start talking about this story until i know for sure its a story... then I'll give you guys the dish... till then, PEACE...